The Crap We Missed – Thursday 7.24.14

July 24th, 2014 // 422 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that finds two of New York’s favorite sons out on their best behavior, with Alec Baldwin fraternizing with the homeless and Shia Labeouf actually wearing a clean-looking suit to court. Are they turning a new leaf, or should I keep making flagrantly irresponsible assumptions about two men I know nothing about based on a single candid photo? What I will definitely do, however, is proudly offer up this damning piece of evidence I’ve patiently waited for, so I can finally nail Joe Jonas‘ ass.

*submits to Fish for copy-editing, comes back all clear, clicks Publish*

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Leonardo DiCaprio Laying On Yacht Talking On Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    “How did you get this number, Jonah?”

  2. Ryan Gosling Wax Statue Huge Ass Madame Tussauds London
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Hell I thought that was actually him.

  3. Lena Dunham Fat legs Cellulite Skirt Girls Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I still can’t figure out why that show isn’t called “Dogs”.

  4. Shia LaBeouf Wearing Suit Leaving Court Appearance
    Commented on this photo:

    I always wondered why they were called roofies. Cause you’re more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call em groundies.

  5. Lena Dunham Fat legs Cellulite Skirt Girls Set
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    That optical illusion is not working.

  6. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Instagram
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    #mynippleswanttomeetmykneeslol

  7. Britney Spears Weird Face Im Allergic To Morning Sweatshirt
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    My Face is Allergic to My Skull

  8. Shia LaBeouf Wearing Suit Leaving Court Appearance
    Commented on this photo:

    Bold move picking Ice-T to represent you based off his Law and Order experience.

  9. Britney Spears Weird Face Im Allergic To Morning Sweatshirt
    hlkjhlkjhkljh
    Commented on this photo:

    girl, you allergic to life.

  10. Giorgio Armani Grabbing Dick Wearing Speedo
    Commented on this photo:

    “When 900 years you reach… …look as leathery you will not, hmm?”

  11. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Evidence Item #2456-B:
    Selfie of accused post-coitus with “John”.

  12. Britney Spears Weird Face Im Allergic To Morning Sweatshirt
    Commented on this photo:

    And fiber. Really allergic to fiber.

  13. LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian Extra
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, it’s kind of weird that I can see that single lima bean you ate earlier traverse your digestive tract.”
    “I know, right? Only half a bean for me next time.”

  14. Britney Spears Weird Face Im Allergic To Morning Sweatshirt
    Commented on this photo:

    And healthy living habits, gyms, bras, men without ulterior motives….

  15. Shia LaBeouf Wearing Suit Leaving Court Appearance
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sir! Did you know your client was seen in the bathroom taking selfies releasing butterflies from his pants?”

  16. Melanie Griffith Son Alexander
    Commented on this photo:

    That dude’s gayer than a Nathan Lane boys night out.

  17. Alec Baldwin Homeless People
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s about to do his best leghorn foghorn impression… Stand back!

  18. Melanie Griffith Son Alexander
    Commented on this photo:

    “oooh…I dunnoooo…does it come in a deep D …V Neck! V neck…oh my god…I’m so blushing right now…” :: waves fingers over face ::

  19. Britney Spears Weird Face Im Allergic To Morning Sweatshirt
    Dick Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    and the morning after pill

  20. David Spade With Short Fat Lady
    Commented on this photo:

    In a moment of clarity, David Spade decides to date “in his league”, with predictable results.

  21. LeAnn Rimes Eddie Cibrian Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “Eddie, sweetie, I’m pregnant!!”
    “Honey, we’ve been over this. That’s your uterus showing through”

  22. Mariah Carey Cleavage Spandex Dress Hercules Premeire
    Commented on this photo:

    The Photoshop guy used the stretch tool in the wrong direction.

  23. Justin Bieber Grabbing His Dick
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    WHAT AN ASS WIPE

  24. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Instagram
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Subtitled “In case I disappear tonight, my pimp knows who did it”

  25. Mario Lopez Icing On Top Lip Extra
    sdfsdfsdf
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me, sir, you have white stuff on your face.”
    “Oh no, that is always there.” – Mario

  26. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Instagram
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    I like to go for the low-hanging fruit, but this is ridiculous.

  27. Donald Trum Ivanka Trump Golden Shovels Groundbreaking Ceremony Trump International Hotel
    Commented on this photo:

    Three gold diggers.

  28. Britney Spears Weird Face Im Allergic To Morning Sweatshirt
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    There should be a law that you’re only allowed to wear slogans that you can read yourself.

  29. Alec Baldwin Homeless People
    Kris Jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    ” Hey Alec, Check out Steve’s sweet piss puddle “

  30. Dwayne The Rock Johnson Arm Around Brett Ratner Hercules Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’d shake your hand, but, well, you know.”

  31. Leonardo DiCaprio Laying On Yacht Talking On Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here: How many fucks Leo gives about our comments regarding his weight and facial hair…

  32. Mariah Carey Cleavage Spandex Dress Hercules Premeire
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Moo, moo, I love you. I know you’re a cow, but anything will do.

    (100 fake dollars if you know the source of that.)

    • That would be Johnny B. please deposit the fake $100 to my paypal account. thanks

    • okay, this was really weird. In 1983 they played the shit out of that song in my small northern california town. “moo, moo, i’m in love with you, you’re just a cow, but anything will do, moo, moo, i’m in love with you, I just wanna make loooooooove to you”.

      In years since, I’ve tried to resurrect this joke, but no one knows what the hell I’m talking about.

      I assumed I imagined the whole thing.
      \
      Until now.

  33. Leonardo DiCaprio Laying On Yacht Talking On Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    Photo credit: J. Hill

  34. Ryan Gosling Wax Statue Huge Ass Madame Tussauds London
    Commented on this photo:

    If you stare long enough you can see the women muttering “My precious”…

  35. Shia LaBeouf Wearing Suit Leaving Court Appearance
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is who here? They all look like criminals being escorted by two cops.

  36. Brigitte Nielsen Huge Ass Tight Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure she can take Dolph Lundgren now.

  37. Maria Shriver Licking Lips
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah! 1:30! Time to get nectar from the lavender plants in Silver Lake!

  38. Lena Dunham Fat legs Cellulite Skirt Girls Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Dress for the figure you want?

  39. Ava Sabrina Cleavage Legs Minidress Hank Baskett Mistress
    Commented on this photo:

    Was this one for me? Thanks guys.

  40. Mariah Carey Cleavage Spandex Dress Hercules Premeire
    Dick Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    Did I shit, or did I not shit? That is the question—

  41. Shia LaBeouf Wearing Suit Leaving Court Appearance
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not famous. And this is my entourage, my two publicists, my pimp daddy JaySleaze, my full-time DJ, and my girl Lindsay–she’s over there snorting the floor. Again, just a reminder, I’m not famous.

  42. Ryan Gosling Wax Statue Huge Ass Madame Tussauds London
    Commented on this photo:

    There seems to be a lot of wear and tear on the front and back of his slacks.

  43. Justin Bieber Grabbing His Dick
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    STIs must make your dick burn like hell.

  44. David Spade With Short Fat Lady
    Commented on this photo:

    One-upping Schwarzenegger.

  45. Giorgio Armani Grabbing Dick Wearing Speedo
    Commented on this photo:

    When they told him to “lather up” with sunscreen he heard “leather up”. It’s a language thing.

  46. Joe Jonas Huge Scab Under Knee
    Domingo
    Commented on this photo:

    Kaposi’s sarcoma got me down

  47. Melanie Griffith Son Alexander
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m pretty sure he’s way more likely to be the son’s boyfriend than hers.

  48. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    #saggyfloppers

  49. Lindsay Lohan Gross Saggy Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Lindsay Low-Hang

  50. David Spade With Short Fat Lady
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    Dating his mom– it’s what happens when Rob Schneider forgets to include David Spade in a project.

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