The Crap We Missed – Thursday 6.5.14

June 5th, 2014 // 456 Comments

Was the decision to lead off today’s The Crap We Missed with a practically naked Emily Ratajkowski a difficult one? I’m glad you asked, gay male and straight female readers. Since we’re now engaged in a small group discussion on the nuance of the editorial process of dick joke sites, I’d like to read a quote from Bob Woodward. *clears throat* “First you get the tit photos, then you get the money, then you spend every day of the rest of your life wondering what would have happened if you had cut your drinking down to just five days a week in college.”

Bradley “What are leg days?” Cooper in booty shorts knows what I’m talking about,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Cap'n Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

    And these people are wealthy folks. There is no god.

  2. Carmen Electra Cleavage Butt Booty Shorts Fishnets Elevate Concert Series
    Cap'n Obvious
    Commented on this photo:

    Still a major hottie. Way to keep it together.

  3. Lena Dunham Play Fighting Photographers Girls Set
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t flex pure fat, honey.

  4. Robert Wagner Red Splotchy Face
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    EIGHT DOLLARS? Get the keys back Jill, we’re going to Sizzler.

  5. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Voice of Reisling
    Commented on this photo:

    THE MOUNTAIN!

  6. Jay Z Walking Behind Beyonce Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s right! Keep walking, bitch!”
    “Bitch, please… You couldn’t even take my sister in a fight”

  7. Lily Allen Upskirt Panty Flash Legs High Slit Dress Chiltern Firehouse
    gumbypokey
    Commented on this photo:

    Not bad.

  8. Robert Wagner Red Splotchy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    Single-handedly holding on to the double-breasted sport coat.

  9. Jerry Seinfeld, Jessica Seinfeld Legs Minidress 2014 Baby Buggy Bedtime Bash
    Toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    No Droop for You!!!

  10. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    When she unhooks her bra, all her inner organs will burst out.

  11. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    HULK SMASH!

  12. Jaime Pressly Cleavage Legs Short Shorts Son Dezi
    Commented on this photo:

    You just know she is scary amazing in bed.

  13. Vince Neil Fat Belly See Through Shirt 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    the guy can still pull off wearing a fishnet shirt….or his tshirt just stretched to the fucking max?…

  14. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    south park has really revolutionized the animation business…

  15. Neil deGrasse Tyson Cosmos A Spacetime Odyssey Screening Event And Panel Paley Center For Media
    MRF
    Commented on this photo:

    Deez be stars, BITCHES.

  16. Bradley Cooper Skinny Legs Short Shorts American Sniper Set
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “Of course I love tossed salad! A little arugula, some balsamic vinaigrette, and a wedge of…Why are you lying on your back?”

  17. Nicole Kidman Smelling Keith Urban 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “There are the fucking keys…”

  18. Jonah Hill Getting Microphone Pack Adjusted GMA
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “just relax. this lie detector will tell us if you really meant “suck my dick, faggot” was meant as a homophobic slur or a request.”

  19. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Long Hair
    CptCreep
    Commented on this photo:

    Buffalo…. Bill….

  20. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look kids, i will make a balloon dog!”
    *squeeka, squeeka, squeeka*
    “Look kids. Some Legs!”
    *squeeka, squeeka, squeeka*
    “Who sees some ears?”
    *squeeka, squeeka, squeeka*
    “Who the fuck am I kidding. I can only make the Snoopy at the Macy’s Day Parade.”

  21. Carmen Electra Cleavage Butt Booty Shorts Fishnets Elevate Concert Series
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck could she possibly be singing?

  22. Emily Ratajkowski Side Boob Cleavage Sticker Bikini SI Swimsuit Shoot Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not going to say “no thanks”, but those are some weird shaped titties.

    • The Electrician

      As a woman, I find it intensely sad that you apparently have no idea what non-silicone boobs look like.

    • The Most Interesting

      Allow me to suggest that you should take this as an opportunity to stop obsessively commenting on every post Fish does, get out of your Mom’s basement, find some kind of socially acceptable hobby, and pray, daily, that it makes you interesting enough that some poor woman will take pity on you and introduce you to what a natural breast actually looks like.

      • I’ve been blessed to have close encounters with my share of really amazing, natural female breasts. Her breasts in this photo look weird. Sorry. Maybe it’s the angle.

    • brick

      The only thing weird is your definition of weird.

  23. Jonah Hill Getting Microphone Pack Adjusted GMA
    MZ MIZRY
    Commented on this photo:

    ugh. so i guess when you become a “serious actor” you can hire someone to clean up your “accidents” for you.

  24. Vince Neil Fat Belly See Through Shirt 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Dr Feelgood turned into Chef Boyardee

  25. Jonah Hill Getting Microphone Pack Adjusted GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ok Mr Hill, on the count of three I’m going to pull the chair as you stand up…one…two…wait, what? He can? Ok, Mr Hill they say you can just keep the chair.”

  26. Lena Dunham Play Fighting Photographers Girls Set
    Commented on this photo:

    well, it’s official. I’m not going to watch “girls”. Not ever. No.

  27. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    MZ MIZRY
    Commented on this photo:

    oh man now my ankles are hurting.

  28. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Long Hair
    Commented on this photo:

    At this point I’m 99% certain someone has murdered Bruce Jenner and is walking around wearing his face as a mask. Probably Scott Disick…he’s got a definite serial killer vibe about him.

  29. Robert Wagner Red Splotchy Face
    Commented on this photo:

    “$8 for valet parking??? Oh, if we were on my boat you’d be sorry…”

  30. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a truck tire that’s 100K past warranty and is about to have a sidewall blowout.

  31. Jay Z Walking Behind Beyonce Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to “I don’t wear jerseys I’m 30 plus”?

  32. Bradley Cooper Skinny Legs Short Shorts American Sniper Set
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the Ace and Gary movie is coming along just fine

  33. Demi Lovato Cleavage Fat Legs Half Shaved Head Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Latina Awards
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    Never a Corinthian around when you need one. Oh, wait…

  34. Pope Francis Touching Baby
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    How does his arm bend that way?

  35. Lena Dunham Play Fighting Photographers Girls Set
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    “When you’re sliding into first, and you feel something burst”

  36. Aaron Carter Crazy Eyes Headband Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Opening Night
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    I see the Bastard of Vince Neil was in attendance.

  37. Beth Chapman Stuffed Into Leather Corsett Duane Dog The Bounty Hunter Chapman 2014 CMT Music Awards
    oldfool
    Commented on this photo:

    Your move Coco.

  38. Vince Neil Fat Belly See Through Shirt 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Dick Thunder
    Commented on this photo:

    He is a half a Twinkie away from giving Kickstart my heart a new meaning.

  39. Nicole Kidman Smelling Keith Urban 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m 6′ and I dated a girl 6’4″ once. Plus, she wore heels.
    Honestly, nothing like leaning over into a nice set of tits.
    He’s got something here, seriously, I’d go on that ride.
    Nicole is still hotter than 90% of the girls her age.
    Be honest, would you pick Gwenny over this?
    I rest my case.

  40. Robert Wagner Red Splotchy Face
    Dock of the Bay
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Susan St. John behind him. I’m not sure because she was before my time, but did’t he dump the other actress off the boat for this one.

    • I believe you’re referring to JILL St. John. And there are still a lot of questions in the death of Natalie Wood (one Wood that apparently doesn’t float).

  41. Carmen Electra Cleavage Butt Booty Shorts Fishnets Elevate Concert Series
    Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    who cares, none of them really sing on stage…it’s all prerecorded… Thought you’d know that by now.

  42. Pope Francis Touching Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sorry, she’s a bit too old for me…”

  43. Emily Ratajkowski Side Boob Cleavage Sticker Bikini SI Swimsuit Shoot Instagram
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Take your pick…over which body part to stare at while fapping.

  44. Carmen Electra Cleavage Butt Booty Shorts Fishnets Elevate Concert Series
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s making something in my pants Elevate.

  45. John Mayer Wearing Robe And Sash Belt Montage Hotel
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    John And The Average Two-toned colored Dreamcoat

  46. Nicole Kidman Smelling Keith Urban 2014 CMT Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Smells like middle-age spirit.”

  47. Jonah Hill Getting Microphone Pack Adjusted GMA
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    You have the right to remain silent…

    But I apologized!

  48. Aisha Tyler Face Wrinkles Extra
    Commented on this photo:

    “”Why are you asking me questions about the Ghost Whisperer? Haven’t I been through enough?”

  49. Bruce Jenner Creepy Face Long Hair
    Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

  50. Aaron Carter Crazy Eyes Headband Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like an Adam Sandler character.

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