Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where, I hope for his sake, Kevin James is wearing a fat suit on the Grown Ups 2 set, Ann Curry is the creme in the Heads or Tails Oreo Cookie scenario that I endlessly fantasize about and have multiple sketches of in a spiral notebook got a little visit from Big Dick Richie, Christian Bale apparently uses the same research methods for film roles as Andrew Garfield does, Rosie Perez is 47, fucking 47, and John Travolta makes a completely heterosexual offer to the paparazzi.
Click the shutter once to pitch, twice to catch,
- Photo Boy
Click Here To Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
She looks like one of those dolls where you squeeze the body and the eyes pop out, but instead of body you squeeze her ass, and instead of eyes, it’s her boobs…and instead of a doll, it’s a hot mess of daddy wasn’t there.
It’s like somebody photoshopped Alec Baldwin’s eyes onto a young Kim Bassinger’s face.
Okay, I’m definitely taking Kevin James over Lindsay Lohan with the first pick in my death pool. Fat + comic always equals death.
Pay attention Duff.
I only know her by the name “dirty little pig.”
Is she paying off a trip to Milan by doing yard work?
“Shit, watch it. Just got this baby installed; mI-hair 2.0: gay cut”
Kinda looks like a cross between Slash and Christopher Lloyd in Roger Rabbit.
‘I have another idea but we’ll need ovens’. Right, so… which one of you jokers is Fish?
If you can tough it through to lights out, you’ll be ok. Dawn is going to be difficult to deal with, but that’s morning-after sober guy’s problem, not yours.
Norm MacDonald got work?
Yeah, he’s got those insurance comm… oh, I get it now!
Nice pinky ring, fuckstick!
Carl Winslow is growing the hair out.
I’d put her in my yellow submarine. (As long as we’re making pointless Beatles allusions)
I’d like her strawberry fields forever. (Top that!)
Lick. Fuck.
Okay. Challenge accepted. She can please please me anytime at all. (HA!)
I’ll bet going down on Ali Larter would be like (are you ready?)…“A Taste of Honey.”
*BUZZ* Not written by the Beatles, vito. Doesn’t count.
Well, hell, I didn’t know it had to be written by one of the Beatles…Try this: Going down on Ali Larter would be like a slice of“Honey Pie”.
I am the leg man.
I’d go across her universe. It’s an expansion of the sexual slang “around the world”
Whoa…damn, who Vaarted?
She’s like Cro Mag hot.
“Hey Paparazzi, I got something in the rear that needs some poppin’.”
He moonlights by working crowd control.
That’s the thing about Lindsay in recovery, an hour later you’re ready for another one
“Knight of Cups, you say? You can start with my Buttercup here then.”
2 boys, a girl and a cup.
I’m pretty sure the little sad eyed girl appears in every photo of Denise Richards and that realization will eventually drive her to suicide.
Well done. Well done.
Why has no one else thought to use botox on boobs before?
I’d do him in a heartbeat!
“Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”
Most everybody wants some head.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is Vajazzling for others now?
The 80s hair tells you where she’s coming from.
Puerto Rico?
Black athlete does shitty comedy: heads will roll…
♪ It’s fun to stay at the Phi. M. C. A….
Wow! A gay flash mob.
Al looks “way” too interested here.
Al wants to get him some of that.
Al’s wanting to eat shortening off that chest.
“Rabbi Shlemiel” and Shlemazel couldn’t make it but we all work for Hasenpfeffer Incorporated, so no shvitz.”
Some side silicone.
Just banged his head on the car window.
I remember when he was the Dad in Good Times.
Looks like the bandit roughed up smokey pretty bad.
Note to Congress: remove that deduction from the tax code.
That’s a very robust pair of haunches.
She looks different without a guy sticking out of her ass.
Reese, Rumer or Rosie. Their names all begin with the letter ‘R’. They have nothing else in common.
Vaginas?
Is it me or does every chick have to look like Amber Heard now?
whats wrong with that?
The only reason I watched Chuck.
“I almost changed my last name to Butz.”
I remember green-lensed glasses helping with your golf game. Red must help spot the grim spectre of Death.
From the thumbnail, I thought this was some version of Slash with boobs. I’m still not sure I was wrong.
He put it in her ass, didn’t he?
Good to see him get work as a security guard on a movie set.
Did someone dye one of those removable head things from Labyrinth and throw it in a dress?
I thought The Superficial had standards…
I see Kevin James hasn’t been to wardrobe yet.