The Crap We Missed – Thursday 6.2.11

June 2nd, 2011 // 453 Comments

“What if I threaten to burn her house down after she blows me? Nah, it’ll never work.”

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed filled with a cautionary tale about pregnancy (Your face really gets stuck like that. I’m a doctor.), the skeletonization of Alessandra Ambrosio and Justin Bieber flying (again) which isn’t at all a sign of the apocalypse because, c’mon, Jesus never levitated. *checks Bible* … Fuck.

I saved the best for last?

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Jessica Alba
    Commented on this photo:

    it needs cowbell?

  2. Usher
    Webster
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Benson?

  3. Mel Gibson
    Commented on this photo:

    *sigh
    “…Well, at least my stand-up routine will be funnier than Charlie Sheen’s”…

  4. Fred Durst
    Commented on this photo:

    He strikes me as the kind of guy who has had someone shit on his chest before…

  5. Mel Gibson
    Commented on this photo:

    I gotta say, he’s not selling me on The Beaver.

  6. Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    Isaac better be serving Viagra martinis.

  7. Jessica Alba
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m seeing that Jennifer Love Hewitt look in here eye…it’s all over but the bloating now.

  8. Shauna Sand
    Amy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooh, does she have plastic nipples too??

    • Drew

      I think the better question is, what on Shauna Sand *isn’t* plastic?

      • Cock Dr

        When a plastic surgeon cuts off the nipples completely for a breast enlargement it’s hard to get them back on just right.

    • And they scar funky…

      • How exactly do these doctors pitch this to women? “Ok, I’m going to cut your nipple off, then pour jello into the hole, then sew the nipple back on again”…”will it look natural doctor?”…”oh fuck no!”

        How many times does an uncle have to molest a chick to have her do THIS to herself trying to get attention? It’s got to be a few.

    • TomFrank

      I think she and Tara Reid went to the same surgeon.

  9. Brian Cox
    Mashara
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ever since that charity with Cris North it has never felt the same…”

  10. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet Jesus. What has she been “wrist deep” into now????

  11. Shauna Sand
    fufu
    Commented on this photo:

    poop

  12. Fred Durst
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine it’s embarrassing to have your picture taken while you’re waiting in line to redeem your food stamps.

  13. Mel Gibson
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe if I hold the mic like this we can hear what the hell is going on inside my head, because I sure as hell can’t explain it.

  14. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    where’s the black guy saying it all with his eyes when you need him!

  15. Alessandra Ambrosio
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    I think you’ve posted Maria Shriver a little too much lately.

    • Richard McBeef

      I’ll say some of the most terrible and vile things about celebs shown here, including Ambrossio, but that shit is hitting below the belt.

  16. Hugh Hefner
    CC
    Commented on this photo:

    Captian Crunch in the fleash!

  17. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    “Just Gay It” ™

  18. Justin Bieber
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Awwwww! He’s having so much fun. He’s going to be mad when his Mom calls him in for dinner.

  19. Jessica Alba
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    If someone so much as looks at me cross-eyed…

  20. Christina Ricci Kelli Garner Margot Robbie
    Commented on this photo:

    Hollywood chicks are ALWAYS midgets… WTF
    (nice tit on the left tho)

  21. Fred Durst
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    What sucks? Not being photographed at one of those comedy roasts for hasbeens and D-listers.

  22. Kate Hudson Matt Bellamy
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s sad that they are actually talking to each other.

  23. Shauna Sand
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    If this is the “best” then god help us all.

  24. Alessandra Ambrosio
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Posting a kiss goodbye to the million semen wasted on her in the last 30 seconds.

  25. Gabriel Aubry
    Commented on this photo:

    Seen here NOT banging and marrying a black woman like the total racist he is….

  26. Usher
    bond,james bond
    Commented on this photo:

    That is not a priest, That is actor and dancer Ben Vereen

  27. Mel Gibson
    The Pope of Cleveland
    Commented on this photo:

    Mel was just as disappointed as everyone else when he learned what “The Beaver” was really about.

  28. Justin Bieber
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    All that effort and he jumped too early.

  29. Alessandra Ambrosio
    Commented on this photo:

    yah…that’s a bit too shriveresque for me.

    • TomFrank

      I’d still hit that, but I know my credibility here is shot because I’ve said I’d still do Maria.

  30. Kendra Wilkinson
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Yes, because she lost all the baby weight by taking Ab Cuts, not by exercising/dancing 10 hours a day for the past year.

  31. Avril Lavigne
    Commented on this photo:

    XXV? Someone learned Latin over the holidays! Let me guess… Reminder about her minutes of fame?

    • decastrox

      Uhh…XXV is 25. Not 15. But you were trying to be funny, right? It’s usually funnier when your shit actually makes sense, but anyway.

  32. Hugh Hefner
    Commented on this photo:

    The Skipper has lost a lot of weight since Gilligan died.

  33. Justin Bieber
    Topher
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess if you get enough Usher in you, you really can fly….

  34. Mel Gibson
    tkb
    Commented on this photo:

    “How did things get this bad?”

  35. Tia Carrere
    Commented on this photo:

    Suddenly have urge for manicure… *shrugs

  36. Justin Bieber
    AT
    Commented on this photo:

    how low is that hoop =))

  37. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    “my whole hand still smells like Lindsay…”

  38. Pete Wentz
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    I see he has learned how to carry a child since the last time we saw him. Kids: Stay in school!

  39. Justin Bieber
    CC
    Commented on this photo:

    That isn’t basketball. In basketball the hoop is 10′. What a bunch of girls. I guess they were told to make it easy on the little rich boy.

  40. Mel Gibson
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    I should have realized that “Beaver” was short for Jewish Conspiracy to Deny Me Blowjobs. Damn.

  41. Shauna Sand
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    come in Tokyo!

  42. Justin Bieber
    Commented on this photo:

    Justin Bieber demonstrating how even with a hoop 2 feet closer to the ground…a white kid can still fuck up a dunk.

  43. Jessica Alba
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the glass eye is not properly targeted, Ms. Alba.

  44. Kendra Wilkinson
    CC
    Commented on this photo:

    That is not ab cut. It’s astroglide!

  45. Christina Ricci Kelli Garner Margot Robbie
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice…it’s like boobs, boobs, and ‘go fetch us some coffee, would you darlin?”

    • whiskeyafternoon

      “boobs, boobs, & coffee” would easily eclipse starbucks in 2-3 years if you ever opened it.

  46. Fred Durst
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Vanilla Ice, rolling strong!

  47. Tia Carrere
    Jill_Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    Tia Carrere, Sr.? I didn’t realize actress Tia Carrere was named after her own mother.

  48. Usher
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Usher? I don’t recognize him without Justin Bieber jammed on his dick.

    Someone should warn him that his velcro shoes are stuck together.

  49. Alessandra Ambrosio
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Jeepers. Maria Shriver had a love child with Brooke Shields?

  50. Shauna Sand
    CC
    Commented on this photo:

    Just Nasty!
    All I can say.

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