“What if I threaten to burn her house down after she blows me? Nah, it’ll never work.”
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed filled with a cautionary tale about pregnancy (Your face really gets stuck like that. I’m a doctor.), the skeletonization of Alessandra Ambrosio and Justin Bieber flying (again) which isn’t at all a sign of the apocalypse because, c’mon, Jesus never levitated. *checks Bible* … Fuck.
I saved the best for last?
- The Superficial
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Photo: Fame, Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
it needs cowbell?
Is that Benson?
LOL Immediately thought the same when I saw him, and judging by the next comment, it seems it is.
*sigh
“…Well, at least my stand-up routine will be funnier than Charlie Sheen’s”…
He strikes me as the kind of guy who has had someone shit on his chest before…
if he passes out drunk around me he will be.
Silent film star Ben Turpin says “hey douchebag, get the fuck off my star!”
…by pantomiming outrage.
I gotta say, he’s not selling me on The Beaver.
Isaac better be serving Viagra martinis.
brilliant!
I’m seeing that Jennifer Love Hewitt look in here eye…it’s all over but the bloating now.
Ooh, does she have plastic nipples too??
I think the better question is, what on Shauna Sand *isn’t* plastic?
When a plastic surgeon cuts off the nipples completely for a breast enlargement it’s hard to get them back on just right.
And they scar funky…
How exactly do these doctors pitch this to women? “Ok, I’m going to cut your nipple off, then pour jello into the hole, then sew the nipple back on again”…”will it look natural doctor?”…”oh fuck no!”
How many times does an uncle have to molest a chick to have her do THIS to herself trying to get attention? It’s got to be a few.
I think she and Tara Reid went to the same surgeon.
“Ever since that charity with Cris North it has never felt the same…”
Sweet Jesus. What has she been “wrist deep” into now????
I think she’s hiding the residual coke in her nose.
just my thought
poop
I’m here for you, my child.
I imagine it’s embarrassing to have your picture taken while you’re waiting in line to redeem your food stamps.
Maybe if I hold the mic like this we can hear what the hell is going on inside my head, because I sure as hell can’t explain it.
where’s the black guy saying it all with his eyes when you need him!
He left when he saw the hoop.
I think you’ve posted Maria Shriver a little too much lately.
I’ll say some of the most terrible and vile things about celebs shown here, including Ambrossio, but that shit is hitting below the belt.
Captian Crunch in the fleash!
“Just Gay It” ™
lol
Awwwww! He’s having so much fun. He’s going to be mad when his Mom calls him in for dinner.
If someone so much as looks at me cross-eyed…
Hollywood chicks are ALWAYS midgets… WTF
(nice tit on the left tho)
Agreed, very perky, but she has a face that makes me think ‘air freshener commercials’.
it makes Tom Cruise look taller…….
What sucks? Not being photographed at one of those comedy roasts for hasbeens and D-listers.
It’s sad that they are actually talking to each other.
Its sad that of all the famous men she’s been banging, she let that one knock her up.
If this is the “best” then god help us all.
No kidding…
Hey Fish/PB, is it “low standards Thursday” or something?
Posting a kiss goodbye to the million semen wasted on her in the last 30 seconds.
Seen here NOT banging and marrying a black woman like the total racist he is….
That is not a priest, That is actor and dancer Ben Vereen
And to add to his resume “a priest”
Mel was just as disappointed as everyone else when he learned what “The Beaver” was really about.
All that effort and he jumped too early.
yah…that’s a bit too shriveresque for me.
I’d still hit that, but I know my credibility here is shot because I’ve said I’d still do Maria.
Yes, because she lost all the baby weight by taking Ab Cuts, not by exercising/dancing 10 hours a day for the past year.
and brought to you by a chick who no longer poses for bikini photos without HEAVY photoshopping.
and from a girl who loves old man balls
XXV? Someone learned Latin over the holidays! Let me guess… Reminder about her minutes of fame?
Uhh…XXV is 25. Not 15. But you were trying to be funny, right? It’s usually funnier when your shit actually makes sense, but anyway.
The Skipper has lost a lot of weight since Gilligan died.
I always suspected that top hammock had a strategically placed hole.
I guess if you get enough Usher in you, you really can fly….
“How did things get this bad?”
Suddenly have urge for manicure… *shrugs
how low is that hoop =))
It’s at gay height.
“my whole hand still smells like Lindsay…”
I see he has learned how to carry a child since the last time we saw him. Kids: Stay in school!
That isn’t basketball. In basketball the hoop is 10′. What a bunch of girls. I guess they were told to make it easy on the little rich boy.
I should have realized that “Beaver” was short for Jewish Conspiracy to Deny Me Blowjobs. Damn.
lol!
come in Tokyo!
Tune in Tokyo!
Hugh was confused when he was connected to Calcutta…
Justin Bieber demonstrating how even with a hoop 2 feet closer to the ground…a white kid can still fuck up a dunk.
With a soccer ball no less…
You must be feeling generous today, McFeely—that hoop is easily FOUR feet lower than regulation.
Oh, and, “white kid”? Racist.
Looks like the glass eye is not properly targeted, Ms. Alba.
lmao I noticed that too. Never found this girl attractive, still don’t understand the hype.
That is not ab cut. It’s astroglide!
Nice…it’s like boobs, boobs, and ‘go fetch us some coffee, would you darlin?”
“boobs, boobs, & coffee” would easily eclipse starbucks in 2-3 years if you ever opened it.
Vanilla Ice, rolling strong!
Tia Carrere, Sr.? I didn’t realize actress Tia Carrere was named after her own mother.
Is that Usher? I don’t recognize him without Justin Bieber jammed on his dick.
Someone should warn him that his velcro shoes are stuck together.
What do you expect? He just stole them from K-Mart.
Holy Jeepers. Maria Shriver had a love child with Brooke Shields?
Just Nasty!
All I can say.