The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.28.15

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which I prepared for you yesterday, because if all went as planned, I should be shitfaced on a beach in Florida as you read this. If all did not go as planned, it’s because I’m in a holding cell at the airport trying to explain why there was a waif-like man stuffed into my check bag who wouldn’t stop screaming “BOOB PHOTOS!! WHO WILL MAKE ME THE BOOB PHOTOS?!” First one of you to post my bail gets the key code to Abigail Ratchford’s Instagram. What’s this now? Public site, huh? *bends over* Ok, TSA, let’s get it over with, but don’t tell him you got to do this. You wouldn’t like him when he’s angry.

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty