The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.26.11

May 26th, 2011 // 612 Comments

Welcome to The Crap We Missed, our daily roundup of photos not worthy of an entire post, yet chock-full of valuable life lessons. For example, who knew that in Florence when you buy a handbag it comes with a free suitcase filled with pickles and mustache wax? Also, whoever said drug addicts have poor motor skills has obviously never seen one on stilts. But seriously though, drugs are bad. Really, really bad. Not counting the times they give you a giant penis.

I hope you’ve learned a lesson here today,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    S'right, I said it!
    Commented on this photo:

    The ref is blind! And retaining water.

  2. Ashley Olsen
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s in mourning for her muscle tissue and subcutaneous fat.

  3. Santa Monica
    Fuckin' gay pride parade
    Commented on this photo:

    Man look at that gap. Hole Shit.

  4. Bradley Cooper Hangover Part 2
    Short_Bus_13
    Commented on this photo:

    Just followed the glitter trail out of the closet to Clay Aikins tea party

  5. Adam Lambert American Idol
    bitch*please
    Commented on this photo:

    Huh. I wonder when Jessica Szohr got her hair cut?

  6. Sasha Jackson Bikini
    I switched the first two letters.
    Commented on this photo:

    Tice nits!

  7. Pippa Middleton
    Commented on this photo:

    The Brits seem desperate for tabloid fodder. Can we ship them Lindsay?

  8. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy fuck. STOP EATING, WILL YOU?!

    I thought this was a pregnant woman before I clicked on the thumbnail.

    • Bucky Barnes

      She looks like one of those school teachers who gets caught having one a baby by one of her students and keeps sneaking back for more until they put her away.
      Not that there’s anything wrong with that… just sorry I didn’t get to attend a full service school.

  9. Jersey Shore Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s trying to figure out the exchange rate, so she knows how many Euro a two-dollar whore should charge.

  10. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    So she had to stretch out her shirt a little bit to get it to go over her butt. Give the girl a break.

  11. Santa Monica
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to provide the nuts to turn her Mound into an Almond Joy.

  12. Ashley Olsen
    Commented on this photo:

    Grammy!! Grammy!! I thought you were dead…Wait. That’s not my Grandma.

  13. Joslyn James Bikini
    bahlder
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude. What the fuck, get that hair in check.

  14. Sasha Jackson Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s filming a movie about Jesus coming back as a buxom blonde, who has tattoos to cover up her stigmata marks. Mel’s directing it.

  15. Jersey Shore Snooki
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she spot a hot dog between the cracks??

  16. Joslyn James Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally we know what’s been killing all of those dolphins.

  17. Joslyn James Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Who buys shiny new titties and then has someone tattoo on them? That’s like getting your van a sweet mural painted of a sexy big-breasted armored warrior riding a dinosaur swinging a sword of fire at a three headed dragon, and then letting the retarded neighbor kid draw a mustache on her with a sharpie.

    Or maybe she had the tats first, and she’s working on her flaws one at a time…eventually getting to “bag over head”.

  18. Santa Monica
    Snooki's Taint
    Commented on this photo:

    “Mommy, I don’t wanna hold your tampon any more!”

  19. Flavor Flav
    Commented on this photo:

    a least he can tie a full windsor knot…

  20. Joslyn James Bikini
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    At least she’s holding her flappy thigh skin tight in this picture.

  21. Meh

    WTF? Carrot To p got implants?

  22. Halle Berry Midriff Fifi Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    in order to honor both her black and white heritage, her skin is apparently striped like a barber pole.

  23. Sanjaya Malakar American Idol
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope this inspires Donald Trump to modify that time capsule he wears on his head.

  24. Joslyn James Bikini
    Meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna got her skin bleached?

  25. Joslyn James Bikini
    coherent
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she aware she’s going bald?

  26. Fergie Cleavage Fifi Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty good for 50. Unfortunately, she’s 36.

  27. Fergie Cleavage Fifi Awards
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like one of ‘em’s trying to make a getaway.

  28. Bradley Cooper Hangover Part 2
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    this shit eating grin brought to you by Olivia Wilde’s lack of good taste in men.

  29. Adam Lambert American Idol
    Commented on this photo:

    This is WAY gayer than men having sex with other men.

  30. Fergie Cleavage Fifi Awards
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    was she acting black or white for the occasion? either way, HOLY FAT FACE.

  31. Sanjaya Malakar American Idol
    Commented on this photo:

    “I am Sanjaya…I come to…oh, how you say…rape you face?”

  32. Shauna Sand
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Elliot Mintz is having trouble figuring out the parking meter.

  33. Shauna Sand
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the goldfish fell out of her shoes.

  34. Shauna Sand
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    why don’t they just nail bricks to their feet with the words ‘I’m a white trash whore’ written on them? same effect.

  35. Flavor Flav
    DiddyK
    Commented on this photo:

    Two clocks keeps it classy..

  36. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    I knew I should have patented my idea for cellulite camouflage.

  37. Mischa Barton
    Commented on this photo:

    Bad pants and weird angles?

  38. Quentin Tarantino
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he own any other shirts?

  39. Eve

    That’s fucking gross.

  40. Joslyn James Bikini
    skeetskeet
    Commented on this photo:

    She was plucked bald by an irate wife.

  41. Quentin Tarantino
    Commented on this photo:

    And now this strange parasite begins the next stage of its life cycle, slowly metamorphosing into Randy Quaid in hopes of attracting a mate.

  42. Pippa Middleton
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    i seriously can’t think of a more OVER-rated broad for the life of me. WHAT is all the hoopla about this chick? someone? anyone?

  43. Jersey Shore Snooki
    Any Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    I love how no one is even looking in her direction to even try to help her. “don’t watch-a da monsta, then she-a go away”

  44. Santa Monica
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Boy shorts and a scarf. All right.

  45. Flavor Flav
    skeetskeet
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope those are gold teef or he hasn’t brushed since 1971. Either way GROSS!

  46. Quentin Tarantino
    Tanzarian
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Michael Moore lost alotta weight.

  47. Joslyn James Bikini
    How's my roughing? call (718)915-0476
    Commented on this photo:

    I heard china had the same do before she got tag team for her new movie. I can’t recall the name of the movie at this moment.

  48. Quentin Tarantino
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s just hailing a cab, Tarrantino style…

    Quentin:
    “Yo cabbie! I need to go to 32nd street…and Let me tell you what ‘Like a Virgin’ is about. It’s all about a girl who digs a guy with a big dick. The entire song. It’s a metaphor for big dicks.

    ‘Like a Virgin’ is not about this sensitive girl who meets a nice fella. That’s what “True Blue” is about, now, granted, no argument about that. Lemme tell you what ‘Like a Virgin’ is about. It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine, I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

    Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it’s like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the ‘Great Escape’, he’s digging tunnels. Now, she’s gettin’ the serious dick action and she’s feeling something she ain’t felt since forever. Pain. Pain.

    It hurts her. It shouldn’t hurt her, you know, her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, ‘Like a Virgin’.

    Cabbie: Howz about you shuts the fuck up.

  49. Sasha Jackson Bikini
    Deryn
    Commented on this photo:

    Was she actually walking? I mean, there’s no footprint under her right foot and no sand on her sole. Am I concentrating on the right thing?

  50. Pippa Middleton
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s she doing in the shark tank? She’s not even interesting enough to rip on.

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