The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.21.15

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, another robust collection thanks again in part to Cannes red carpet nipples, the hours of endless joy brought to me by Chrissy Teigen’s derpface and whatever kind of crime scene cafe this is that Terry Richardson eats at. C’mon, are you that shocked this man has no appetite unless someone’s been assaulted nearby? “Excuse me, waitress? My there appears to be my own dick in my salad. Could you grab that out of there for me?” Every goddamn day. Middle of lunch rush. Like clockwork.

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty