The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.17.12

May 17th, 2012 // 486 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which has everything important that happened so far at the Cannes Film Festival right here and here. We’ve also got Vanessa Hudgens who still thinks Coachella‘s going on, Joe Jonas coordinates every single part of his outfit as all straight men are wont to do, James Gandolfini discovers sexting, and Dina Lohan shatters another innocent life. *dials phone* “Hello, Gerbers? Yes, she’ll do full frontal.”

You know Kris Jenner just dove into Kourtney’s uterus,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Joe Jonas
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did you hear a zipper?”

  2. Dina Lohan Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    “They said I ruined those other kids… well I’ll show them!” ~ Dina thinks to herself shortly before pimping this child out to Pampers.

  3. Lucy Liu Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh Herrrooo.

  4. Joe Jackson
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Joe: “Ha-ha! Look! Titties!”
    Manager: “Uh, sir, with all due respect. This is the Center of the Performing Arts of San Juan.”
    Joe: “Yeah! Look, I’m holding her wrist and pointing at her titties! Ha-ha!”

  5. Eric Christian Olsen Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Overheard at Supercuts;

    “Just gimme an Owen Wilson.”

    • Nahbro

      Unfortunately there was a misunderstanding on which “Owen Wilson’ style he wanted, and they slit his wrists instead.

      Got dark real quick.

  6. Angela Simmons Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    What a slob.

  7. Vanessa Hudgens Tank Top Skirt
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus is underwhelmed.

  8. Joe Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    The old pull my finger routine just isn’t the same without Tito.

  9. Tara Reid Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Human training wheels.

  10. Kat Dennings
    Zabou
    Commented on this photo:

    Overrated show, overrated girl…

  11. Chris Noth Grey Beard Tuxedo
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    Couldn’t decide it it was Don Johnson or Andy Garcia by the thumbnail…but it’s a third example of extraordinary dissipation of hotness. Is that entropy? Not up on my physics.

  12. Hofit Golan Butt See Through Dress
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly the Golan Heights doesn’t refer to that ass. Those cheeks end about halfway down her thigh.

    • TacoTom

      You sir, are an idiot. There is nothing wrong with that ass.

      • JesusCan'tHitACurveball

        I’ll have you know I was first in my class at the Six Mix-A-Lot School of Derriere Critiquery and Applied Podiatry. That is a text book case of white girl butt.

        While it may be debatable if anything is wrong with it, there is most certainly nothing right with it. Take you low standards and begone with you.

      • The Laughing G-D

        LOLS!

      • Joaquin ingles

        It’s a little sloppy.

    • Looks pretty damn good to me…
      [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/19/Hofit+Golan+is+seen+during+the+65th+Annual+Cannes+Film+Festival-340_383.jpg[/img]

  13. Chris Noth Grey Beard Tuxedo
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re still trying to save that fucking rainforest?

  14. Chris Noth Grey Beard Tuxedo
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Still trying to get rid of the taste of having kissed a horse repeatedly on a certain TV show out of his mouth.

  15. Eva Longoria Butt See Through Dress Cannes
    Zabou
    Commented on this photo:

    That dress is GORGEOUS!!! She should have put on some make up on her tramp stamp though.

  16. Chris Noth Grey Beard Tuxedo
    Dali
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. Old

  17. Pauly Perrette See Through shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    When given a choice between actresses who try too hard and actresses who don’t try at all, I’ll take the cute barista down the road any day of the week.

  18. Dina Lohan Baby
    Bob Hopeless
    Commented on this photo:

    “There is another Lohan” (cue Imperial March)

    • dooood

      the lohan clan is neutral evil or chaotic evil at best.
      just a bunch of angry whores with a high tolerance for alcohol.

      sure they are shameless sociopaths who only give a shit about themselves but they are not hell bent on world domination like the moo cow succubi clan.

      save the imperial march for those whores, or for cheney

  19. Katie Price Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Serves them right for sitting under Miley’s balcony.

  20. Jessica Chastain Cleavage Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s Lovely.

  21. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    Dead eyes. Like that guy who does the news on PBS.

  22. Sacha Baron Cohen The Dictator Costume Beth Ditto Cannes
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Beth’s the real star there. And she seems a little disappointed by the side-kick the festival provided.

  23. Dominic Chianese
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    Betty White’s tits must look bangin’ on a 2″ screen.

  24. Chris Noth Grey Beard Tuxedo
    Frank Burns
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the haunted look of a man who had to experience the entire “Sex and the City” series.

    • Blech

      Yep! And what a hot man.

      He was hot in the series (well, as hot as he could be amongst those chattering idiots) and on Law and fucking Order.

      I’d do’em.

  25. Vanessa Hudgens Tank Top Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Does this mean they finally wrapped “Spring Breakers” so we can stop seeing promo shots from that shit movie?

  26. Eva Herzigova Cleavage
    BlackAndWhite.Minstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello Old Codgers

  27. Kat Dennings
    Commented on this photo:

    Rose McGowan looks hot oh wait nevermind

  28. Pauly Perrette See Through shirt
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    I swear I’ve bought cigarettes from this chick at the Kum & Go.

  29. Kat Dennings
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess she ran out of time to inflate the left one.

  30. Joe Jackson
    JesusCan'tHitACurveball
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ha, now here’s a bitch who can take a punch to the chin.”

  31. Tara Reid Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess she spent too much time inflating the left one.

  32. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Striped Shirt
    bbiowa
    Commented on this photo:

    GodDAMN that looks like my great aunt Gert. Just needs a purse with an owl on it and some lint-covered Dentyne in the bottom.

  33. Christie Brinkley Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    It is my dream that one day we can see this woman standing next to Lohan.

  34. Jada Pinkett Smith Balding Willow Smith Shaved Head
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll always remember today as the day I saw what Will Smith would look like in a bikini top.

  35. Pauly Perrette See Through shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    she is smiling like Cthulhu just ate the raven

  36. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Striped Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like someone dressed up the UGA mascot and sent him roving the streets by himself.

  37. Eric Christian Olsen Scruffy Beard
    neo
    Commented on this photo:

    racist fuck

  38. Vanessa Hudgens Tank Top Skirt
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how many galaxies span across her fat ass.

  39. Jessica Chastain Cleavage Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like someone had Kim user her mouth to LIPO Christina Hendricks…

  40. Eric Christian Olsen Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice beard.

  41. Katie Price Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s confused. Normally she gets paid for that kind of money shot.

  42. Joe Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    “Break yourself bitch! A-ha, I see what I did there!”

  43. Tara Reid Drunk Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else have Japanese robot Manga come to mind with those robot tits?

  44. Eva Herzigova Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see her letting her cannes out for a little fresh air.

  45. Kat Dennings
    Johnny
    Commented on this photo:

    Your lips are full enough. Please stop with the exaggerated lip line. It’s like your pilled up Aunt Gertie tried to put on lipstick after the doc upped her dose.

  46. Christina Hendricks
    Commented on this photo:

    She could rest that water bottle, and many more things, on that table walking about a foot in front of her…

  47. Angela Simmons Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Jay-Z looks uncomfortable.

  48. Pauly Perrette See Through shirt
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like bad hygiene.

  49. Phoebe Price Cleavage Cannes
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously?

    • I know, right? She looks like a well-preserved cadaver from the late 1800′s. Okay, “well-preserved” might be a bit of a stretch.

      • kimmykimkim

        That’s pretty good description. A little generous, but we’re nice people here. But why the trash bag on the tits? Why?

  50. Lucy Liu Cleavage
    kimmykimkim
    Commented on this photo:

    No thanks.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      racist bitch.

      • dooood

        hey i definitely have a thing for cute asian chicks
        (i think its called reverse racism? but w/e)
        but there’s something about when they have a bit of a man face.
        i mean there’s this porno of a chick gettin drilled in the ass but her face looks like hideki matsui.
        (maybe you know who i’m talking about.)
        just doesn’t do it for me

      • She looks better from the side.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        pretty sure it’s called yellow fever? but w/e.

      • You’re still pissed that kimmy turned out not to be Korean, aren’t you?

      • kimmykimkim

        Hahaha!! Beef, shut your 3.1415926535-hole! I thought it was called Asian Persuasion. The thing is, I can’t tell where she’s looking. She’s got “crazy eyes.” You know, like Steve Buscemi in Mr. Deeds. I can dig on some Asian though. And yeah, sorry about that not being Korean thing. I mean, wow, I’m so Korean!

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