Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which has everything important that happened so far at the Cannes Film Festival right here and here. We’ve also got Vanessa Hudgens who still thinks Coachella‘s going on, Joe Jonas coordinates every single part of his outfit as all straight men are wont to do, James Gandolfini discovers sexting, and Dina Lohan shatters another innocent life. *dials phone* “Hello, Gerbers? Yes, she’ll do full frontal.”
You know Kris Jenner just dove into Kourtney’s uterus,
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“Did you hear a zipper?”
“They said I ruined those other kids… well I’ll show them!” ~ Dina thinks to herself shortly before pimping this child out to Pampers.
Oh Herrrooo.
I ROR’d.
Joe: “Ha-ha! Look! Titties!”
Manager: “Uh, sir, with all due respect. This is the Center of the Performing Arts of San Juan.”
Joe: “Yeah! Look, I’m holding her wrist and pointing at her titties! Ha-ha!”
That’s quite a lousy way for him to pretend he’s into women.
Overheard at Supercuts;
“Just gimme an Owen Wilson.”
Unfortunately there was a misunderstanding on which “Owen Wilson’ style he wanted, and they slit his wrists instead.
Got dark real quick.
What a slob.
Jesus is underwhelmed.
The old pull my finger routine just isn’t the same without Tito.
Human training wheels.
Overrated show, overrated girl…
spectacular breasts go a long way if you haven’t noticed
Couldn’t decide it it was Don Johnson or Andy Garcia by the thumbnail…but it’s a third example of extraordinary dissipation of hotness. Is that entropy? Not up on my physics.
Clearly the Golan Heights doesn’t refer to that ass. Those cheeks end about halfway down her thigh.
You sir, are an idiot. There is nothing wrong with that ass.
I’ll have you know I was first in my class at the Six Mix-A-Lot School of Derriere Critiquery and Applied Podiatry. That is a text book case of white girl butt.
While it may be debatable if anything is wrong with it, there is most certainly nothing right with it. Take you low standards and begone with you.
LOLS!
It’s a little sloppy.
Looks pretty damn good to me…
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/19/Hofit+Golan+is+seen+during+the+65th+Annual+Cannes+Film+Festival-340_383.jpg[/img]
They’re still trying to save that fucking rainforest?
I seem to remember “experts” telling us twenty years ago that it’d have been completely slashed and burned by ten years ago.
Still trying to get rid of the taste of having kissed a horse repeatedly on a certain TV show out of his mouth.
A TV show came out of his mouth?
That dress is GORGEOUS!!! She should have put on some make up on her tramp stamp though.
♫…that’s why the lady, has a traaaaaamp…♫
Mr. Old
When given a choice between actresses who try too hard and actresses who don’t try at all, I’ll take the cute barista down the road any day of the week.
“There is another Lohan” (cue Imperial March)
the lohan clan is neutral evil or chaotic evil at best.
just a bunch of angry whores with a high tolerance for alcohol.
sure they are shameless sociopaths who only give a shit about themselves but they are not hell bent on world domination like the moo cow succubi clan.
save the imperial march for those whores, or for cheney
Serves them right for sitting under Miley’s balcony.
She’s Lovely.
Dead eyes. Like that guy who does the news on PBS.
Beth’s the real star there. And she seems a little disappointed by the side-kick the festival provided.
Betty White’s tits must look bangin’ on a 2″ screen.
This is the haunted look of a man who had to experience the entire “Sex and the City” series.
Yep! And what a hot man.
He was hot in the series (well, as hot as he could be amongst those chattering idiots) and on Law and fucking Order.
I’d do’em.
Does this mean they finally wrapped “Spring Breakers” so we can stop seeing promo shots from that shit movie?
Hello Old Codgers
Rose McGowan looks hot oh wait nevermind
I swear I’ve bought cigarettes from this chick at the Kum & Go.
I guess she ran out of time to inflate the left one.
“Ha, now here’s a bitch who can take a punch to the chin.”
I guess she spent too much time inflating the left one.
GodDAMN that looks like my great aunt Gert. Just needs a purse with an owl on it and some lint-covered Dentyne in the bottom.
It is my dream that one day we can see this woman standing next to Lohan.
I’ll always remember today as the day I saw what Will Smith would look like in a bikini top.
she is smiling like Cthulhu just ate the raven
It’s like someone dressed up the UGA mascot and sent him roving the streets by himself.
racist fuck
I wonder how many galaxies span across her fat ass.
It’s like someone had Kim user her mouth to LIPO Christina Hendricks…
Nice beard.
She’s confused. Normally she gets paid for that kind of money shot.
“Break yourself bitch! A-ha, I see what I did there!”
Anyone else have Japanese robot Manga come to mind with those robot tits?
Nice to see her letting her cannes out for a little fresh air.
Well played stinky. Well played
Your lips are full enough. Please stop with the exaggerated lip line. It’s like your pilled up Aunt Gertie tried to put on lipstick after the doc upped her dose.
She could rest that water bottle, and many more things, on that table walking about a foot in front of her…
Jay-Z looks uncomfortable.
She looks like bad hygiene.
Seriously?
I know, right? She looks like a well-preserved cadaver from the late 1800′s. Okay, “well-preserved” might be a bit of a stretch.
That’s pretty good description. A little generous, but we’re nice people here. But why the trash bag on the tits? Why?
No thanks.
racist bitch.
hey i definitely have a thing for cute asian chicks
(i think its called reverse racism? but w/e)
but there’s something about when they have a bit of a man face.
i mean there’s this porno of a chick gettin drilled in the ass but her face looks like hideki matsui.
(maybe you know who i’m talking about.)
just doesn’t do it for me
She looks better from the side.
pretty sure it’s called yellow fever? but w/e.
You’re still pissed that kimmy turned out not to be Korean, aren’t you?
Hahaha!! Beef, shut your 3.1415926535-hole! I thought it was called Asian Persuasion. The thing is, I can’t tell where she’s looking. She’s got “crazy eyes.” You know, like Steve Buscemi in Mr. Deeds. I can dig on some Asian though. And yeah, sorry about that not being Korean thing. I mean, wow, I’m so Korean!