The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.16.13

May 16th, 2013 // 379 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you slightly early so Fish and I can duck out to see Star Trek Into Darkness, which may or may not result in a review depending on how severely we slapfight over manly stuff like editing and dialogue. But that doesn’t mean I slacked on your TCWM. There’s Jason Collins‘ twin brother, who’s apparently had to beat off gay dudes left and right, wait, Jonah Hill spotting a produce truck, The Pope fondling a bird, and Sacha Baron Cohen finally inspired for his newest character, Juan Carlos, a narcoleptic Mexican gardener, who through various cross-cultural mishaps will be unable to keep his penis from constantly flopping out of his shorts. It’s going to be hilarious, bro!

See? I took care of you guys, *glues Spock ears to crotch, Vulcan salutes mirror*,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Chuchu
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexy pics in a bra and spanx?

  2. Queen Latifah No Make Up Gut
    awkward turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah Hill in Bel Air, California. (May 15, 2013)

  3. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    awkward turtle
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah Hill in Bel Air, California. (May 15, 2013)

  4. Hulk Hogan TNA Impact Wrestling Welcome Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “They’re right, she *does* look like my daughter!”

  5. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally lost that 3 stone…not a fan of her white trash look but her body has improved immensely and her face appears to have deflated.

  6. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    shes very pretty!

  7. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Marco Polo
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW, glad to have her back! She was just depressed, she WAS going through a divorce. She got it back together. Bravo.

    • She left him retard. If you think she blew up because of that I got a bridge in Brooklyn that you might be interested in purchasing. Very good price for you.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

        I’m interested in this theory that goes, people who instigate a divorce can’t be depressed because of it. So it must be an objective fact, not an asinine assumption, that no instigator anywhere is ever downhearted that something they wanted to work out (they took not inconsequential step of getting married in the first place, after all, hardly a sign they thought matters weren’t going to last beyond the next 3-6 months) didn’t in fact end up working out – that all the dreams they envisioned manifesting with their once beloved suddenly proved to be but wisps of transient smoke.

        Yeah, you’re right. No instigator in their right mind would ever be depressed.

      • Hey, Car-Bone, every been through a divorce yourself? Ripley’s hit the nail right on the head. It doesn’t matter even if you totally despise your mate, breaking up totally destroys your own image of your place in society (husband, father, etc.) and it hurts like a motherfucker!

      • Goddamnit! I have posted more typographical errors this week than I can even remember. That’s what I get for skipping my morning coffee.

  8. Mena Suvari Butt Tight Jeans Versus Versace Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    sexy

  9. Pope Francis Holding Dove Vatican City
    Marco Polo
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure, the dove gets to go free, but all those poor little boys never will be. FUCK THE RCC

  10. Khloe Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    linebacker

  11. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    Expert on Everything
    Commented on this photo:

    It wouldn’t even be a thing if he wasn’t such a piece of shit, but he is a massive piece of shit like his mom who lets him behave like a POS. This family is everything wrong w/the human race. Burn them all w/fire!

  12. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    “EWWWWWW! Is that a vegetable? Gross!”

  13. Queen Latifah No Make Up Gut
    Commented on this photo:

    “What the fuck are you lookin’ at, Jonah Hill?”

  14. Hulk Hogan TNA Impact Wrestling Welcome Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Ralphie, boy! Ain’t Trixie gonna be mad at you when she finds out you took the day off of work to go bowling?”

  15. Cindy Crawford Cleavage 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Poutina
    Commented on this photo:

    over botoxed
    looks like a tranny

  16. Vanessa Paradis Huge Gap In Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me, Miss. You have something in your–OH MY LORD!”

  17. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    “Pssssst! It’s okay! Underneath this jacket, I’m wearing my “I’m the straight one” t-shirt!”

  18. Will Smith Jaden Smith Ellen DeGeneres Green Screen Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Worst police line up EVER!

  19. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    Spanx for sharing …

  20. Cindy Crawford Cleavage 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    For Christ’s sake Skeletor; man-up!

  21. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    I smell rubber. Where’d those come from?

  22. Stephanie Seymour Nipples Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s some very sweet candy inside a horrible wrapper.

  23. Cindy Crawford Cleavage 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Cindy, here’s a quarter…

  24. Prince Charles Wedgwood Institute
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That would make a cool golf cart.

  25. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    Invisible clarinet?

  26. Anna Faris CBS Upfronts
    fattest
    Commented on this photo:

    If you change the ‘i’ in Anna Faris’ last name to a ‘t’, you get ‘Anna Farts’. Interesting.

  27. Jackie Chan Balancing On Yacht Railing Skiptrace Photocall Cannes
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Wants to get off the slow boat to China?

  28. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    MIRV
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s warning him about the next pic.

  29. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    “I have it on good authority that for 5 million pounds your brother could find himself having a rather nasty car accident in a Parisian tunnel, clearing the way for you to be the next King.”

  30. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    When does he start becoming fatter? He already has the peek- a- boo fat man nipples

  31. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    If that is real, damn, she is looking good.

  32. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    He is going over to Arby’s to warn the cooks to butter up the doors.

  33. Carey Mulligan Leonardo DiCaprio 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so beautiful.

  34. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    The way this is going I feel like the next photo up is going to be Jessica Simpson. Here goes…

  35. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    FYI, that railing was straight before she leaned against it.

  36. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    kaschuh
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf’s with that two-headed Henry Rollins/Oliver Platt creature

  37. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s wearing so much black, Kim asked him if he wanted to make a sex tape.

  38. Will Smith Jaden Smith Ellen DeGeneres Green Screen Instagram
    oldfool
    Commented on this photo:

    The Three Douches.

  39. Pope Francis Holding Dove Vatican City
    Lou Braccant
    Commented on this photo:

    Eh, you want I should do the the Ozzy Osbourne trick, Sabbath is one of a my favorite bands!!

  40. Carey Mulligan Leonardo DiCaprio 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “See! Ya smell that? It’s just like cinnamon fucking waffles!” “Leo, that’s not cinnamon, that’s mercaptan..”

  41. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks good, glad she’s lost the weight. Hope it’s done healthily.

  42. Stephanie Seymour Nipples Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, they are just staring right at me.. I’m liking it. But Jezuz, burn that dress.

  43. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    The two-headed photobombster is pretty awesome.

  44. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    I may be superficial but I just want her hotel room.

  45. Pope Francis Holding Dove Vatican City
    Commented on this photo:

    That’ll be tasty later.

  46. Billy Baldwin Grey Beard Licking Lips
    Commented on this photo:

    Only these men can look like a Wall Street tycoon in the morning and by evening look like a hirsute fanatic. Crazy is just a shave away for a Baldwin brother.

  47. Khloe Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Horizontal stripes are very slimming

  48. Vanessa Paradis Huge Gap In Teeth
    Commented on this photo:

    With all the money that these people have, they get face lifts, cheek polishings, lip implants, tummy tucks.. For God sake people, see an Orthodontist!

  49. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    His wrists are so delicate, I hope they don’t snap one day when he’s doing push-ups. Wait.. never mind.

  50. Jude Law
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy hell, it’s not dead! Run over it again won’t you?

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