The Crap We Missed – Thursday 5.16.13

May 16th, 2013 // 379 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you slightly early so Fish and I can duck out to see Star Trek Into Darkness, which may or may not result in a review depending on how severely we slapfight over manly stuff like editing and dialogue. But that doesn’t mean I slacked on your TCWM. There’s Jason Collins‘ twin brother, who’s apparently had to beat off gay dudes left and right, wait, Jonah Hill spotting a produce truck, The Pope fondling a bird, and Sacha Baron Cohen finally inspired for his newest character, Juan Carlos, a narcoleptic Mexican gardener, who through various cross-cultural mishaps will be unable to keep his penis from constantly flopping out of his shorts. It’s going to be hilarious, bro!

See? I took care of you guys, *glues Spock ears to crotch, Vulcan salutes mirror*,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s Stephanie Seymour, sir. She’s here and she’s asking for you. Do us all a favor, and please, don’t November Rain her.”

  2. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    “If you need a break, we’ll get Seth Rogen to fill in for you.”

  3. Prince Charles Wedgwood Institute
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    How is it that all his subjects are pasty white but he’s always flushed and well tanned?

  4. Prince Charles Wedgwood Institute
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured: Camilla chasing after them, snarling and snapping at the rear tires.

  5. Will Smith Jaden Smith Ellen DeGeneres Green Screen Instagram
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    Her butt couldn’t be safer.

  6. Mena Suvari Butt Tight Jeans Versus Versace Launch
    Commented on this photo:

    such a beaut

  7. Sacha Baron Cohen 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    The thought of this guy’s career success must keep Bronson Pinchot up at night.

  8. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    Waitress – you’ve dropped your tray.

  9. Prince Charles Wedgwood Institute
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, no thank you. I’d rather not. I’ve seen Herbie. I know what these monsters are capable of.:

  10. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Never really been a fan, though the skinnier she gets the more apt she is to take her clothes off. Back when she actually was fit seems she was quick to go semi naked in photos.

  11.   Sara Gilbert Sharon Osbourne Aisha Tyler Sheryl Underwood CBS Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    Another typical Jon Hamm wardrobe malfunction.

  12. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he the only Kardashian with a natural pair of tits?

  13. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Bra Midriff Facebook
    Commented on this photo:

    That is some obvious photoshop

  14. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    Commented on this photo:

    “Has my date from NAMBLA arrived?”

  15. Carey Mulligan Leonardo DiCaprio 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Good, you ditched the short hair. Off to my yacht.”

  16. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that 12-year-old boy must really be cold.

  17. Billy Baldwin Grey Beard Licking Lips
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    And they said I was crazy to splice Alec Bladwin and Tom Cruise genes together. THEY SAID I WAS CRAZY!!!!

  18. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    In direct sunlight, he sparkles…and also turns all jewey.

  19. Rob Kardashian Fat Weight Spandex Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Sympathetic pregnancy?

  20. Pope Francis Holding Dove Vatican City
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sure it looks nice–until you find out that this bird is a pedophile!!

  21.   Sara Gilbert Sharon Osbourne Aisha Tyler Sheryl Underwood CBS Upfronts
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re shocked to discover that one of them still gets a period.

  22. Hulk Hogan TNA Impact Wrestling Welcome Event
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hulkadementia!!!!

  23. Sebastian Bach Maxim Hot 100 Party
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey anyone remember what I was famous for? I was in that band Skid Row! Anyone remember that? Anyone?

  24. Stephanie Seymour Nipples Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    CANS Festival indeed!

  25. Anna Faris CBS Upfronts
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m gonna be on TV?! Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa-?!!!!”

  26. Hulk Hogan TNA Impact Wrestling Welcome Event
    Commented on this photo:

    This man hasn’t aged in the last 20 years!

  27. Mena Suvari Butt Tight Jeans Versus Versace Launch
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Some day, she’s going to make some lucky old producer a very lovely trophy wife.

  28. Jackie Chan Balancing On Yacht Railing Skiptrace Photocall Cannes
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    So is he Austin Powers now?

  29. Sacha Baron Cohen 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK Mr Cohen, who are you playing right now?”
    “No, no, I just came as myself this year, Sacha Baron Cohen, to support my wife”
    “HAhahahaha….no seriously sir? What’s the character?”

  30. Khloe Kardashian Butt Tight Dress
    bdog821
    Commented on this photo:

    I think this dress came off the hanger as a continuous small stripe pattern. Then it got stretched out to its current form.

  31. Vanessa Paradis Huge Gap In Teeth
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Just enough room for the crack pipe.

  32. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, check out the knockers on the filthy commoner in the second row.

  33. Jude Law
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    London shuttle now departing for West Side Story.

  34. Cindy Crawford Cleavage 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Somewhere there is an engineer saying to himself “Man, I sure hope those gold support beams hold.”

  35. David Hasselhoff Hayley Roberts 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh shit, he’s spotted us….RUN!

  36. Stephanie Seymour Nipples Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    Commented on this photo:

    Boner boy must not be far.

  37. Anna Faris CBS Upfronts
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatdya mean, hassss I been drinking?!?!?

  38. Sacha Baron Cohen 66th Cannes Film Festival Opening Ceremony
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    The cruelest joke the devil ever played was showing up as himself.

  39. Will Smith Jaden Smith Ellen DeGeneres Green Screen Instagram
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Arrange in order from gay to gayest.

  40. Anna Faris CBS Upfronts
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a man, baby….

  41. Prince Charles Wedgwood Institute
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    No, idiiiots I didnnnnntt sayyyy “take me to Stokkkke” i said “Immmm havinggg a strokkke”!!

  42. Prince Charles Wedgwood Institute
    blerg
    Commented on this photo:

    I am 12, what is this?

  43. Hulk Hogan TNA Impact Wrestling Welcome Event
    Pip Pip Cheery-O
    Commented on this photo:

    “Da’fuq was goin’ on in that last pane?”
    -Hulk

  44. Prince Harry Sentebale Royal Salute Polo Cup
    Pip Pip Cheery-O
    Commented on this photo:

    “…and then she trips, impaling herself on his dick. How dirty do I have to make this joke before you’ll laugh, Harry?”

  45. Anna Faris CBS Upfronts
    Pip Pip Cheery-O
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s just seen her own reflection.

  46. Will Smith Jaden Smith Ellen DeGeneres Green Screen Instagram
    Pip Pip Cheery-O
    Commented on this photo:

    Ellen’s thinking, “Weirdly, I’m cool with being the middle to a Smith Sandwich…”

  47. Billy Baldwin Grey Beard Licking Lips
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    Man…I thought Alec lost some weight…looked like he was getting younger.

  48. Pope Francis Holding Dove Vatican City
    KingDoosher
    Commented on this photo:

    that bird has a pope on it’s ass etc….

  49. Emma Watson Nipples The Bling Ring Premiere Cannes
    John Travolta
    Commented on this photo:

    Hmmmmmm a mouth full of Emma’d be nice right about now.

  50. Jonah Hill Fat Weight Gain
    Hitler
    Commented on this photo:

    what a chubby little Jew.

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