Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where Chelsea Handler has become indistinguishable from Helen Hunt, someone probably died after reaching toward Seal‘s camera, Eve‘s alive (Who knew?), and Wilmer Valderrama put on his deepest V for what I’m assuming was a Dr. Scholl’s sponsored post-prom party.
Johnny Depp‘s earrings. Worse insult to Native Americans than the Trail of Tears? You decide,
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Cocoa nails!!
Your mother makes $1.95/m on the computer. She has been unemployed for five months but last month her check was $17864 just sticking any requested item in any of her orifices via a webcam. I know because she’s sitting right next to me and I make 75% of her take. Here’s the site to read more…fuckoff.die.CoM
well done
I love you, Willie.
Who convinced Sammy Hagar to finally lose the goatee?
Ron Howard with his long lost hair????
That comment was magnificent. You made me laugh very loudly at 2:49am. Spot on!
Apparently cigarettes, plastic surgery and blow counts as a “revolution” now.
I don’t care, she’s still dreamy.
LA LA LA I’m NOT LISTENING TO YOU!
I agree with both of you. Her face is still super cute, but NJ ruined the rest.
Uh, no. Bitch damn shat on an already shat-on NJ.
She looks very unhappy as a Jersey City girl.
yea, she looks good…… hate to admit it but she does
You know as soon as he gets home that camera is going into a special room, and YOU’D BETTER NOT MESS WITH IT!!!
Seal is so out of touch that his camera still has film in it…
That is a nice camera. I can see getting divorced over that.
time to research hair plugs, buddy.
Shit. Those are plugs. Never noticed before.
Me either! Those are definitely plugs! (no thumbs down please. they really are)
I bet she gives great head.
The tables have turned. Johnny Depp has himself, become a douche. In fact, he’s become the Patron Saint of douches.
So they have sluts in England too?
This here’s rice krispy treats dipped in Jesus juice.
That’s the most normal picture of her we’ve seen this year, and she still looks certifiable.
cute dress
Fez, get up and, for the love of god, go.
The kids should never see Ronald McDonald without his make up on.
That picture should be in black and white.
rough face
she is so rough that when……………… (fill in the blanks, lets get creative!)
She walks in the neighborhood all the dogs in complete unison scream “ruff, ruff, God damn that bitch is ruff.”
No.
“She’s so rough, Mike Tyson gives her HIS milk money…!” ;-D
Ooooh! Quite the career move WIlmer! A shoe insole campaign.
classy broad!
Still very pretty after all these years since Party of 5.
Obviously you haven’t seen her nude scenes. Everyone kept asking why she didn’t do nude scenes until she actually started doing them. Then they stopped asking.
God! I used to spank myself raw to that. We’re all getting old.
Well she DOES have big tits…
It’s not that we are all getting old. She just got really fat.
This is how I’ll remember her…
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/10/nicole_eggert_tub-212_320.jpg[/img]
Just a criminal transformation…
http://i2.listal.com/image/238955/936full-nicole-eggert.jpg
She’s 44. She has that youthful tan.
You know you’re ‘past it’ when:
a) you aren’t flexible enough to look behind you and see your dress has a big-ass zipper hanging off of it and
b) you can’t get the attention of 2 young guys when you’re posing suggestively on the street. In NEW YORK, of all places!!
Those guys must be gay…or there’s a hotter, younger starlet offcamera.
When she’s gussied up Eva always been the cutest little Latina garden gnome.
She looks like she’s wondering where the fuck she is.
Damn! And she thought all those years of hard living were not gonna catch up? She looks like a dog who got ran over and left to die in a puddle of piss.
Stop fucking offending dogs. K? Thanks.
Chris: “Whatd’ya think of my douche hat, Dad?”
Dad: “Ditch it, and show the locks while you got ‘em son. The day will come…”
Go ahead…make fun.
You know if you ever got her on a big sturdy bed she would rock your world.
There might be a trip to the emergency room afterwards, but it might be worth it.
For who? Me with the fractured pelvis, or her with cardiac arrest?
I don’t think any of us MISSED this crap….
“Say, Auf Wiedersehen!”
The hair looks natural.
That garter is going to be a bitch to get off.
If the garter belt tattoo didn’t convince you of her classiness, let the fact that she covered her lady parts do the rest….
Most women are taught as girls to cross their legs like this to be ladylike. JWoww, on the other hand, just needs to pee.
or tucking a dong
or to keep the crabs in.
Fun fact: JWow douches with Old Bay.
Nah, she just outgrew her ben-wa balls.
He’s turned into Christopher Walken for Generation X
Ok so I know she blew her way to the top but uhmmm seriously? Someone looked at that and said “Yeah, I’ll give you a show if you blow me?”
This what washing dishes in meth does to your hands.
“And then I tried to slit his wrist with a razor blade, like this, but he was all squirmy and stuff, so I had to go get the shotgun.”
Beans for Jesus!
Uh…really? You can’t tell the difference between beans and chocolate frosting?
Chocolate frosting for Jesus!
Jesus is allergic to chocolate. It’s carob-flavored frosting.
Thanks you for taking it upon yourself to police the comments section of The Superficial, TomFrank.
We can all sleep more soundly at night now.
It was meant in good fun. Stop being so pissy.
chocolate comes from the american continents.
specifically central and south america.
Large and in Charge…. (see what I did there???)
Too cool for shampoo.
Something tell me she’s carrying her lunch in that backpack.
twinkies man, the sac is full of freaking twinkies
A classy lady would have insisted that her dog wash off his feet before making out with her.
Nobody told me Titanic was real…? #wtf
God of blunder.
“…So then you want to use something as a tourniquet to find a vein—here, let me use my bracelet to show you…”
So the same company that makes troll dolls makes wigs?
Next stop: Dancing With The Stars.
Is this photo pre or post coitus? Trick question, it’s actually both.
She just realized she’s in a Dark Shadows remake.
She helped keep Ozzy alive, so I won’t dis her.
Ozzy wouldn’t dare die prematurely with Sharon as his manager. It’s simply not allowed.
She just keeps on giving. Now she’s making Ozzie more attractive (comparatively).
It’s bright shadows that freak me out… Is this a scary horror movie film about Dracula the vampire?
As opposed to Dracula the chartered accountant?