Even though it feels like we’ve hit everything from Ewoks to dick gummies, here’s today’s The Crap We Missed: John Mayer is a Colombian drug lord now. Wonder Woman is winning over fanboys one awkward, boner-in-her-thigh hug at a time. Hilary Swank apparently saw those Christina Hendricks pics, too. Kevin Spacey imagines the soft, delicate breeze of a well-placed teabag, and Mikhail Gorbachev looked this after seeing this.
In Russia the miss craps you,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Fame, Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
There’s nothing classier than showing up to a party shit-faced and wearing a shoelace for a belt.
This week’s winner! +2.
Ian McShane and Danny Trejo should do a movie called “Double Ugly…Double Deadly”…I’m going to go ahead and give this one away for free. Someone get Robert Rodriguez to work on this.
This is the least lifelike Lenin impression yet.
Too bad she can’t work out her face to make it look better.
It looks like he stole the bike from the old white guy in the suit.
CONGRATS TO CHRIS BROWN ON HAVING THE NUMBER 1 ALBUM IN AMERICA.
Other than having one eye 6 inches closer to the camera than the other, he looks pretty good for 80. Especially considering that I thought he was dead.
Gorbachev: “Once I removed my glass eye and stuck it in my ass before the proctologist examined me. When he walked in I bent over and using my best Bogart impression said, ‘Here’s looking at you, kid!’ We laughed our asses off and then went out and killed a hooker. True story.”
I salute you, Sir.
Her?
She calls it a “mayon-egg.”
Now don’t be an Ann-hog!
What you can’t see is that Danny DeVito is on the back of that bike.
It almost looks like he knows he’s a douche.
TomFrank wins, everyone can go home now.
How you doin’?
The transformation must not be complete b/c she hasn’t combusted in the sun
What is not pictures is the Thai midget in his pants
No amount of short shorts and tight legs are going to change the fact those are some fugly ass shoes. Her tits aren’t doing her any favors either.
Where do you see ti…? Oh, I get it now.
Men around the world have just printed this picture on body pillows.
Be in my joint in two hours, we’re forming a fuckin’ government.
DAMN she is fine….
I assume the British wanted to see the thumb he kept up his ass as Governor…
And we have a winner!
Alright kids, this is how you grab boobies.
She has the demeanor of those sex slaves that get rescued from shipping crates. “Bright light in the sky, scarwee!”
And you are familiar with this phenomenon?
I hate it when British things get remade for America… So this is our version of Russell Brand you say?
Don’t pass judgement until you’ve seen all the accessories, like the little matching Klan cap for his wiener.
Isn’t Russell Brand a remake of those geico cavemen?
“Guys keep telling me they’ll do me if I’m wearing a bag….”
“Just a little closer… a little closer… there… she touched my penis, and that’s how I am gonna tell it.”
hahahahaha fantastic
My basic instinct would be to flee…
Great Kirstie Alley impression.
“I was in movies once… and there were shirts with sleeves and all.”
Gorbachev’s favorite joke is the ol’ fly up the nose. Thanks for playing along, Goldie.
So did Arnie look at his head and say “Eeeets notta twoomaah”?
“And then I held it like this. . . and opened my mouth like this . . . “
Damn,how do I approach a hot chick with crotch chokers, without sounding like I need a date?
If you keep making that Kirsten Dunst face, it’ll get stuck like her career.
Genius.
Is there enough Botox that her face won’t do that anymore? No? How about a tennis racket then?
“Gorbie,tear down that birthday”
She’s cute, nothing spectacular imo.
This beast looks like she belongs on Jersey Szhor.
She didn’t get that round mouth from eating square meals!
You can only be so scary when your posse is 100% minorities in business suits.
Just swallow that jism already, Kevin, you’ve been swishing it around so long it’s mostly saliva anyway.
Evidently a black tie affair.
One Snake Skin Tampon – Used
Now there is a waste of good air.
Are you sure this wasn’t from his 40th birthday?
Matt Leblanc has 7 Lunches in Santa Monica
Goldie was invited so she could stand next to Gorby and make him look good… by comparison.
yup
Looks kinda like that Amber slut.
“Who the fuck invited all these Hollywood has-beens to my god-damned motherfucking birthday party?”
Zombie-Reagan had a previously scheduled engagement so he invited a bunch of other Hollywood corpses.
“Does this purse make my ass look big?”
FTW!
The good thing about fat nerds is they can’t poke you with their boners. It just pokes the back of their belly fat.
“What is that poking my leg?”
Now we know why they gave her long pants.