1. Deacon Jones

    Little did the young Japanese boy, Nagitito, realize, just how serious the fallout was until he awoke from bed that morning…

  2. Other than having one eye 6 inches closer to the camera than the other, he looks pretty good for 80. Especially considering that I thought he was dead.

    • Bucky Barnes

      Gorbachev: “Once I removed my glass eye and stuck it in my ass before the proctologist examined me. When he walked in I bent over and using my best Bogart impression said, ‘Here’s looking at you, kid!’ We laughed our asses off and then went out and killed a hooker. True story.”

  3. So did Arnie look at his head and say “Eeeets notta twoomaah”?

  4. Go rough young man

    “Gorbie,tear down that birthday”

  5. Savalas

    “Who the fuck invited all these Hollywood has-beens to my god-damned motherfucking birthday party?”

    • Bucky Barnes

      Zombie-Reagan had a previously scheduled engagement so he invited a bunch of other Hollywood corpses.

  6. Bucky Barnes

    “I’m old as fuck but I’m still hotter than Goldie Hawn and Sharon Stone… so THERE!”

  7. Gorbachev, nostalgic for the old days of the Soviet Union, waited in line for over 7 hours to get into his own birthday party.

  8. he saw Sarah Palin from his house, too bad his aim isn’t what it used to be…

  9. Arzach

    is that a map of Florida?

    • Bucky Barnes

      Well spotted, that is indeed a map of Florida. How humiliating it must be for a former Soviet leader to have a picture of Amerca’s whang prominently displayed on his noggin.

  10. Cock Dr

    This man changed the world. I won’t dis Gorby.

    • If by “changed the world” you mean ” was bent over and assfucked by Ronald Regan” then yes, he did. I guess he had the last laugh though, what with still being alive and all.

  11. MrsEllis

    He’s not some cheap fame-whore. Let’s have some respect here.

  12. KC

    I actually respect him more than Sarah Palin.

  13. I’ll be damned, fat alcoholics age well. Yahooooo!

  14. The left side of his face is at least one size larger.

  15. Waldorf

    I remember the good times we spent together, hanging out in the balcony, making fun of their wacky antics and bad jokes. Ah, memories.

  16. The Critical Crassness

    That beet soup diet is doing wonders for him…he doesn’t look a day over 79.

  17. The Critical Crassness

    “If I knew all of this corpse-like American actors were going to start coming to my birthday parties and drinking all of the vodka, I would have never allowed the Soviet Union to be dissolved!”

  18. Pete

    Shortly after this photograph was taken, a fly landed on the camera lens but it was no match for Gorbachev’s long, sticky tongue.

  19. friendlyfires

    Just think … if I wasn’t such a pushover … I’d still be running the show … of an irradiated country …. but …. running the show … pass the borscht, already!

  20. “In Soviet Russia, party throws you!”

  21. Wait. What?!?! Peter Griffin/Family guy is based on real people?

  22. poppymoss

    It must have been hard to be separated at birth from his twin, Dick Cheney.

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