The Crap We Missed – Thursday 3.28.13

March 28th, 2013 // 327 Comments

If you were paying attention to any of the words in our Playmate Instagram post, you’d already know this is the last The Crap We Missed for the week, which is exactly why I’m repeating it here. In observance of Zombie Jesus Day and not at all because Easter candy tastes terrific with whiskey, we’re bagging tomorrow. So look forward to The Most Important People on The Internet a day early, then on Saturday it’s Fish’s new weekly feature about comics and shit that I have to pretend are cool unless I want to rebuild his LEGO Millennium Falcon in the nude again. So have a great long weekend if you’ve got one, and if you don’t, remember that Easter’s all about taking your life’s frustrations out on your only son family.

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Simon Cowell Double Chin Glasses
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Each one of his chins is worth half-a-billion.

  2. Corey Feldman Prostitutes
    Commented on this photo:

    They think he’s Charlie Sheen, He thinks they’re women.

  3. Prince Charles Glass Of Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    “This tastes a little like ass… Yes, this definitely needs more ass!”

  4. Camilla Dutchess Of Cornwall Talking To Male Dancer In Unitard
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um… I was told to ask you to leave.”

  5. Joshua Jackson Diane Kruger The Host Screening
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m left wondering, which is sharper? Her nose or Reese Witherspoon’s chin.

  6. Queen Elizabeth Maundy Service In Oxford
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now is your chance little peasant boy. Sacrifice yourself for your Queen!”

  7. Kelly Bensimon Bikini Abs Muscular Body
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Never say never to burqas belonging on Western beaches.

  8. Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    “Go away or I’ll write songs about all of you!”

  9. Simon Cowell Double Chin Glasses
    Commented on this photo:

    His transformation into an old lesbian is almost complete!

  10. Greg Louganis Speedo Nicole Eggert Butt Swimsuit Splash Practice
    Commented on this photo:

    The producers told me to tell you “Tits or GTFO.”

  11. Shievonne Robinson Charlene Hart Lauren Ford Tommy Gray Her Royal Highness Shoetique Launch Party
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    I see a gunt, a butchered chest, a horrible thigh tatt and… someone who wouldn’t touch any of the 3, even if given the chance for free.

  12. Joshua Jackson Diane Kruger The Host Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Losing…Power…Need…Recharging…”
    “Come to my place. I have all the cable you need!”

  13. Andrea Riseborough Cleavage Olga Kurylenko Tom Cruise Oblivion Premiere
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it Tom Cruise Loves The Cock, or Tom Cruise Licks The Concha?

  14. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Now where is my good tablecloth?” – Vanessa’s Grandmother

  15. Shakira Cleavage Fragrance Launch Sephora
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    Butt sex. All of them from that country do it……or so I’ve been told.

  16. Chris Rock Howard Stern Courtside Knicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    Howard, you’re a white dude, why are you wearing one of Tina Turner’s wigs?

  17. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice, I like the Carmen Miranda look.

  18. Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re so vain you probably think this song is about you.. Well, that’s because it is!

  19. Joshua Jackson Diane Kruger The Host Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    You know she wears those tall leather boots, a corset, and nothing else, and cracks the whip at him. He wears what she says. And likes it.

  20. Ali Larter Butt Tight Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    She just gets better and better. I like the fact that she has small breasts and hasn’t resorted to augmentation. It means that she realizes she has enough going for her that she doesn’t NEED bigger tits…and that’s incredibly sexy!

  21. Chris Brown Graffiti Mural
    Commented on this photo:

    As much as I hate to admit it, I recently ran across some photos on the ‘net that totally explain what Rihanna sees in this guy. He’s hung like a fucking Clydesdale. And I would bet money that it’s the only thing RiRi sees in him.

    • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

      IMO, I think you underestimate her stupidity. A sane woman might tolerate Chris for a short time just to experience his big dick/see whether he can use it to good effect. Otherwise he doesn’t (yet) have enough maturation to keep a sane chick around for longer. Rhianna? she’s smitten. He’s a bad boy, and he’s famous; a wanted man by many other women. Her own egotism likes the fact he chooses her over the others desiring him. Her egotism makes excuses for his violence/his lack of maturation, because her ego likes that sensation of the famous bad boy coming back to her.

  22. Shakira Cleavage Fragrance Launch Sephora
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks prettier in the thumbnail.

  23. Prince Charles Glass Of Beer
    Commented on this photo:

    “This urine specimen looks bloody dreadful. I think I need to run it through one more time.”
    *bottoms up and chugs*

  24. Elsa Patakay Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    High beams! She obviously had a dream about me last night.

  25. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    I believe I’ll hang here for a while just in case her bikini starts to chafe, so I can help her get out of it. That’s just the kind of guy I am!

  26. Ali Larter Butt Tight Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    “You might remember from Heroes and….and….Holy Crap even I don’t remember my career!”

  27. Andrea Riseborough Cleavage Olga Kurylenko Tom Cruise Oblivion Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “I didn’t know they were unveiling your Madame Tussaud’s wax ficure today Olga!”

  28. Elsa Patakay Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    Thor likes the 12 year-old-boy look. That’s also why he’s into Natalie Portman.

  29. Joshua Jackson Diane Kruger The Host Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ve got an idea what part of you can ‘Host’ ME tonight!”

  30. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Pretending she’s all classy-like while the whole of America is going to the cinema to watch her gyrate in a bikini with an AK-47.

  31. Kelly Bensimon Bikini Abs Muscular Body
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody’s going to say anything about the three sharks in the background?

  32. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Italy’s having trouble picking a government. Claudia Romani is the solution.

  33. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously do you remember any Italian Prime Minister you’d want to buttfuck? I don’t…

  34. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    …and every soldier would be at full attention when she’s inspecting the troops, giving a whole new meaning to “Italian Sausage” (and I don’t even know if there was a meaning in the first place)…

  35. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    …Whenever the country’s in crisis, she’d just shake her tits…

  36. Claudia Romani Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    …and of course all speeches would be delivered on the beach in bikinis.

  37. Shakira Cleavage Fragrance Launch Sephora
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the percentage of cocaine in that perfume? Clear And Present Danger told me that’s what they make in her country.

  38. Chris Rock Howard Stern Courtside Knicks Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “YOU THINK I’M BILL COSBY?”

  39. Joey Fatone Fat Face Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    “Did someone say something about a hot free meal?”

  40. Chris Brown Graffiti Mural
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, I’ve seen better pieces done by my friend’s three year old kid. Fucking toy.

  41. Wiz Kahlifa Holding Blunt And Champagne Bottle Amber Rose Cleavage
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    And right wing goons get all fucking swivel-eyed about the apparent dangers of same sex parents? I wouldn’t trust these clowns with a house plant, let alone a child.

  42. Queen Elizabeth Maundy Service In Oxford
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gotham city will fall, Batman!”

  43. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she is in Cleveland…

  44. Camilla Dutchess Of Cornwall Talking To Male Dancer In Unitard
    yayaya
    Commented on this photo:

    That woman needs a decently-fitting bra

  45. Ali Larter Butt Tight Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    Reminds me of the days when I used to ground and pound her. NFL style.

  46. Ali Larter Butt Tight Mom Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    And I thought I could Never fall in Love again; incredible!

  47. Ali Larter Butt Tight Mom Jeans
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    looks a lot nicer with some meat on her bones.

    nice ass shape.

  48. Chris Rock Howard Stern Courtside Knicks Game
    The Old Man
    Commented on this photo:

    The captions/images are truly messed up: http://i.imgur.com/iSr0WpU.jpg

  49. Chris Brown Graffiti Mural
    the wrecker
    Commented on this photo:

    He does love the horse penis.

  50. Joey Fatone Fat Face Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    Joey FATone

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