“Is lactating contagious? Guess we’ll find out in a…” *poke*
Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where we see Ke$ha with a great start, but only if she continues down to the chin and all the way across to the other ear, Emmy Rossum who might not be at this Laker game for her love of basketball, and Wilmer Valderrama who clearly took careful notes on landing acting gigs while dating Lindsay Lohan.
If you prefer to think of Jessica Alba as a fartless orb of hotness, don’t click on that link,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Girls, remember when your mother told you not to dress like a whore? This is what she meant.
Ignore her, girls. This is good stuff.
…. too easy.
But I’m going to do it anyway.
Not pictured: black microphone.
The anti Kardashian.
word
How can you tell the difference? Oh yeah, this one knows how to shut the fuck up.
girl who is you playin with?
back that ass up!
man… hoff ones really are the best.
that’s a lucky girl there
I guess his kid held him to that “Lose the fro or I don’t go out with you in public” threat to heart…
Man, I don’t know if she was worth all those Eddie Murphy millions but damn…
Is she like 8 feet tall?
Exaggerate, why don’t you. She doesn’t look a millimeter over 7 and a half feet.
Well, look at those shoes. Jesus Christ.
“Shhh Shh… I think that skinny guy is not gonna finish that burger… DRIVER STOP THE CAR!!!”
Man, those wax figures look super realistic…
green is good
proving yet again you need neither talent NOR looks to make it in the ‘music industry’ today.
“music” industry
Agreed 110%
Paula!!! Paula!!! Wanna come to our diabetes support club?!?!?! We have doughnuts!
Reunited with LiLo at last.
the kid is someday going to beat his father’s face in when he realizes his name is Bronx Mowgli
You can almost hear that guys thoughts:
“Please let her be looking at the Laker dancers!! Please lord, I need this!”
anyone else seeing a bit of Sinead ‘the dirty brown’ O’Connor here?
It just let out a queef.
Valderrama demonstrating the only thing he taught Demi Lovato.
Just kick that biological clock away! Kick it aside! 1…2…3 kick!
aren’t we on her 6th minute yet?
WTF?!?!?! I can’t fap to this????
screw him, I need it!
“OMIGOD! You mean the Earth IS round?!?”
Beat me to it. Thanks anyway. Don’t wanna let people forget how dim this bulb be.
If we tried to burn it with fire, will it melt like the real Celine Dion?
“Now that Whitney Houston is dead, I can now take over the world! MUHAHAHA!”
even asian chick is like, “where dat ass at?”
Girls, remember when your mother told you not to look like you’re in your 50s when you’re really in your 20s? This is what she meant.
This
q-bert ftw
The guy behind is fingering him while the girl takes pictures. These celebrities and their crazy entourages!
Why is he rolling incognito? It’s not 2005 anymore… no one gives a fuck.
it’s because he’s traded acting for pedophilia.
Oh good, it’s Dita. So much tastier than rage choked political hollerings.
Dita willlet us strip her down, dress her up and then spank the living daylights outta her. She’ll probably want to call the shots on the shoes; that seems like a fair exchange.
Thems some powerful looking pumps! Nothing demure ’bout those. In my mind, after reading your scenario, Ricardo Mantalban: “Welcome to Fantasy Island.”
Oh, by the way, CD, would you mind divulging your height? I’d like to put to bed someone’s ridiculous notion that I’m shorter than you are.
5’2
I think Snookie & Dinklage are taller than I am.
TomFrank < TomCruise
get some platforms, buddy.
I’m 5’7″. Frank Burns owes me an apology.
It’s the internet, Tom. It’s OK to lie here.
If I were lying, I wouldn’t say I was 5’7″.
lol tommy, yeah I know. Hey did you know I’ve got a 14 inch dick? yep.
Hey, Cock Dr., 5’2″ sounds fucking perfect! I shall heretofore envision you in an entirely different light!
It’s mathematical. The distance between the thighs times the curvature of the ass = degree of hotness.
I propose that henceforward this be known as ‘Eric’s Theorem.’
It’s a good formula. But she looks weird here, because her legs are completely straight and separated. She’d look better if her legs were together so as to see the gap.
Okay, so who had “drunk” in the What Will The Hoff Appear To Be In His Next Pic contest?
Oh wait, we all did.
I have no clue who this is, but I approve.
FAAAABULOUS!!
Selfish celebrity. What’s wrong with a good old fashioned name like Pilot Inspektor?
Strength is irrelevant. Resistance is futile. Negotiation is irrelevant. You will be assimilated. Freedom is irrelevant. Self-determination is irrelevant. We are The Borg
Your quote is brilliant. Too bad it’s wasted on her.
What makes the lingerie Australian? Do the bras have tassels that spin clockwise instead of counterclockwise?
Nope, but it can hold two cans of Fosters.
Fosters. Australian for tits.
Australians do not drink Fosters. Only Americans drink Fosters.
It’s Aussie because it covers the map of Tasmania.
Is the timer on that thing rigged to explode in 15 minutes?
First Rule of Witches: Your house is not for eating.
Man, that zipper must be made out of kevlar.
Get off my beach!!!
Ummm, who’s gonna train the trainer?
I was just thinking “The trainer looks like shit.” Glad I’m not the only one who thought that.
What? All you can see is the trainer’s legs and they look great.
She looks like she has a great bod! And given that we know she’s a personal trainer, I’m sure she does.
Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.
OK…but what about those who can’t teach?
Those who can’t teach teach gym.
Retail?
Whenever I have a wet dream that’s set in the 1920s, it looks exactly like this.
So is Spider-Doofus an actual superhero or is he trying to start something?
she looks weird here and dem hips are missing. jesus fuck the hips on that girl. dammnit, i just ruined another pair of my panties.
I don’t know if she’s happy about the “Stars” part or upset about the “Dancing” part.
I see she’s carrying her “hand bag”.
+5
Took me a sec but BRILLIANT!