Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that probably shouldn’t even exist today because seriously, a Stephen Dorff post? This isn’t what I signed up for. Anyway, since I’m too principled to let you miss out on random celebrity minutiae, here’s Katy Perry throwing up the shocker (also known as ‘foreplay’ to her ex), as well as Jane Seymour who heard you actually gave your wife one of those tacky heart necklaces that she sells. Bloody dreadful.
I’d go on, but there’s a shot of James Belushi in here and the Final Five is literally a random waitress in a bikini. No, really.
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Clearly she’s a gang member, because the only shocker I see is her fucking hair.
I didn’t know Pauly Shore and The Situation had a love child.
Cute but not a celebrity.
It must get tiresome to keep having people stick their gum to your shorts.
Sadly, somebody will complain that you can’t see her shoes.
The guy behind her is checking out the footwear…I’m sure of it.
http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/Kelly+Brook+Kelly+Brook+Leaves+Le+Petit+Maison+-jh-imhC3aMl.jpg
I complaining because I can’t see her boobs.
I think that’s Quentin Tarantino behind her saying it all by looking at her feet.
Wasn’t MaryJane the farm girl on Gilligan’s Island?
she’s wearing some kind of patent leather platform mary janes, says the zoom
Huh. I never realized the zoom shows stuff not in the main image.
That has GOT to be the Gay Friend.
Nah, that’s Alex Rodriguez…oh wait
she has nice hair
Most homeless people do.
“Yea, they’re giving me one for Jack and Jill, too…”
I’m glad to see he found a job worthy of his talent.
The photographer asked her if that was a wrap, referring to her dress.
Nobody has ever seen her in the same room as Maria Shriver. Coincidence? I think not.
Or Janice Dickinson.
Or Charles Montgomery Burns.
The funniest living Belushi.
Really? is it? I’m pretty sure there’s gotta be an elderly Belushi with dimentia still worried about family members buying cars made in Japan that’s way funnier. Maybe the funniest living Belushi who’s ever had their own TV show?
“Girly man one to girly man two. Over.”
Thanks for making me laugh, dude!
Hahahhahaha!!!
I think he must have meant to post that photo to Craigslist M4W.
“Goddammit! This isn’t ‘Mountain Spring’ scented fabric softener.”
The black Billy Ray Cyrus.
I’d rather see her described as, “a waitress with a ravenous need to expose her gigantic tits while enjoying some February sunshine during her lunch break at Southend-on-Sea Essex, England.”
The other guy posted “I can feel it…coming in his butt tonight…oh lord” on his Twitter.
You’ve arrived when Paul Rubens is your dog walker.
You’ve arrived when Jude Law is your dog walker.
I was going to say “The Situation” and that is Katherine Heigl’s dog from earlier in the week.
I’m not seeing the Situation. He would have to be about 6 inches shorter than Amanda and orange, but nice call on Heigl’s dog.
naah, that guy definitely has some Situation in him. I’m sure it’s swimming around in his stomach.
So…Brooke Shields without makeup?
That chick would be nothing without makeup.
or the boobies
He stores the jet lag in his neck.
Sadly, I prefer his Vishnu-master-yoga look to his ambiguously-gay-biker look.
Who the hell is she!?
Some waitress from England.. can’t you read. Ohh… it was a rhetorical question. Then your answer is “some waitress from England.”
I thought this guy was Marked for Death and Under Seige. Good thing he’s Above the Law and Hard to Kill.
Nicely done! There would have been bonus points if you had worked “Glimmer Man” in.
witch was the one in the arctic?
Using the ice cream cone as a guide: she is 9.5 feet tall, and her measurements are 66-42-55
that was awesome
Beat me to it, you bastard :)
Where’s your husband Tara?
Tons of girls are known as that.
Many of them get half-assed plastic surgery too.
But you don’t see them on The Superficial, do ya?
Nope, one “acting” gig in a film that was a “sleeper hit”, and
she still crops up in the news.
Waste of space.
Comment was to “karlito”…
I’m right here, tom.
The guy who sold me my stereo at Sears had a better tailored suit.
he defintiely got that shirt in the divorce.
Damn, too bad. I’d love to see Katy’s hooters popping out of the top of that thing.
call me old fashioned, but I just want to play with her tits and cum on her face.
Old fashioned like a noble king from ancient times.
It’s good to be the king
That would be the gentlemanly thing to do.
“I swear to god, ‘ll never fly Southwest again!”
Was i the only who looked at the thumb and expected this to be Miley Cyrus?
Nope. Thought the same thing
Taking the ring finger off? Someone is way to serious about the “Assassin’s Creed” franchise.
Worst fake running since Baywatch.
Because it’s connected to Adam Sandler, the lump of chewed up food in his mouth just got a 20 million dollar project greenlit.
Welcome to the locker room cesspool. We hope you’ve enjoyed your visit.
Stop clowning his work uniform and let him get his money.
Gay Jebus.
There was a photoshoot in a hotel I was in recently and so I asked the woman at the desk was it someone famous and she said “No, just that Georgia Whats-her-name”
“I still can’t get the Chasez smell out of it. That’s the last time I let him borrow my stuff.”
The Shocker is back!
Is that a fake torso underneath that shirt?
I guess you never know when you’re going to need taco shells
Her right eye just told her the photographer is made of Carbon
She looks like Smurfette rode hard and put away wet. Possibly covered in smurf batter.
I have a sudden craving for cafeteria quality fish and chips.
“Excuse me sir, I can see you standing behind me and I would prefer you went about your business. Yes, I can see you. Yes, without moving my head.”
“…yeah i KNOW! I could shit on a baby duck and people would pay to see it. It’s awesome!”
Best fake running since Baywatch
Hmmmm…sounds awfully familiar.
i guess we know who got to keep the wardrobe.