The Crap We Missed – Thursday 4.14.11

April 14th, 2011 // 438 Comments

When your dress isn’t longer than your Spanx… you might be a redneck. No, wait.

Welcome to the Thursday edition of The Crap We Missed featuring Ralphie! The Rock touching himself, Rumer Willis‘ rectangle face, Michael Douglas looking so lost and confused that I actually feel remorse and Hayden Panettiere demonstrating how much she loves giant penis. (Spoiler Alert: “SO MUCH!”)

Don’t shoot your eye out,

- The Superficial

Click Here to Start The Gallery

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    her ass must look insane naked. I’d still lead the search team for her asshole.

  2. Kim Kardashian
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Good get the obligatory Kardahsian post put of the way right at the beginning.
    They must have paid their website bill.

  3. Hilary Duff
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    when did she turn 50?

  4. Rachel Ray
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatcha cooking with those chicken cutlets, Rachel?

  5. Peter Billingsley
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny, he looked better in the Easter Bunny pajamas…here he just looks creepy!

  6. Rumer Willis
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s one ugly dude.

  7. Rachel Ray
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    she was actually kind cute 10 years ago. I’m so sick of her fat face now.

  8. Hilary Duff
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Jessica Simpson’s mouth got even bigger, but her boobs shrunk!

  9. Hayden Panettiere
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    hottest midget alive

  10. Tori Spelling
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Tory Spelling’s mom sure looks younger than I remember…..Wait a minute…that IS Tory Spelling making her mom’s “Screaming Shrew” face!

    • Truth Hurts

      Damn….I said it before & I’ll say it again. WHITE WOMEN AGE HORRIBLY!!! FUCK!!!! This chick isn’t even 40 yet. Why does she look 60!? her neck looks like puppet strings are under her skin. Her skin is bumpy & just bad as fuck. Her face skin also sags like a muthafucker!….No matter how many babies she shits out, it doesn’t make her anymore desirable to the public….Damn I feel sorry for her though…Shit I feel sorry for white bitches as a whole…LMAO!

  11. Michael Douglas
    ANJ
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s quite a colostomy bag…

  12. Kim Kardashian
    hmna
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know that Spanx had a steel-reinforced version.

    • cc

      Sigh, they use carbon nanorods. In fact, she’s the reason they invented them. Thank God I am here to clear these things up. Back to designing the next generation predator drone.

  13. Channing Tatum
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Ralph Macchio called he wants his look back for DWTS.

  14. Fergie
    Hugh Gentry
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie, I have an 8-inch tongue and can breathe through my ears. Call me.

  15. The Rock
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    I get really hard every time Jordana Brewster touches me right here!

  16. David Hasselhoff
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see Madam Toussand’s finally got a wax figure that closely resembles the star.

  17. Rumer Willis
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    The Chinectomy has helped some, but she still has a man’s face……..Bruce Willis’ to be specific.

  18. Peter Billingsley
    duder
    Commented on this photo:

    He has such purdy blue eyes, I’m glad he never shot one of them out.

  19. Rachel Ray
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Rachel Ray looks like a burnt bisquit.

  20. Michael Douglas
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    IS that a giant ALka Seltzer tablet in the bag, Michael? Acid indigestion is a bitch, isn’t it?

  21. Peter Billingsley
    Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow jonathan lipnicki got old fast…

  22. Vin Diesel
    ahhemmmm
    Commented on this photo:

    The 5th installment of this movie must be pretty low budget if they cast “mini me” Verne Troyer in it. But it will be cool to see him cruising around and racing in his Mini cooper.

  23. Aziz Ansari
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    The “Cheshire Cat” visits Letterman to discuss Johnny Depp and the truth behind the “Alice in Wonderland” magic ‘shroom rumors.

  24. Channing Tatum
    Tiff
    Commented on this photo:

    Baby, you can detox me any day. If you know what I’m sayin’

  25. Linzie

    she must be hiding a lot of cottage cheese

  26. The Rock
    Tiff
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s hardcore geology right there

  27. Tori Spelling
    ctrl tab
    Commented on this photo:

    A constipated Celine Dion.

  28. Hayden Panettiere
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Hayden Panettierie demonstrates exactly how it is possible for her to accommodate her Russian boxer boyfriend’s large penis, for an inquisitive fan.

  29. Hilary Duff
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Hilary, oh Hilary, I have an engagement ring over here for you . . .

  30. Rachel Ray
    ctrl tab
    Commented on this photo:

    Anyone else thinks she looks like Rosie O’Donnell, circa 1995?

  31. Fergie
    The Critical Crassness
    Commented on this photo:

    Fergie definitely has the female impersonator thing down…(s)he looks almost feminine in this photo.

  32. Kim Kardashian
    GeneralEmergency
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh lord.

    Please don’t use any word like “spanks” in reference to “Kim, The Kiloton Keester Kardashian”.

    The mind immediately imagines a disciplinary hand coming down for a firm rebuke, only to get lost in a muffled, undulating Bounce-House of Fem-Fat.

    .

  33. Tori Spelling
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’ll get you and your little dog too!”

  34. Rumer Willis
    Tiff
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s as if someone took the most unflattering and incompatible features of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis face and assembled them together in one big..oh wait..

  35. Channing Tatum
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    That Diane Keaton always dresses like that. What is this, Annie Hall?

  36. The Rock
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, Vin Diesel and the Rock are different people? Wha?

  37. David Hasselhoff
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    So, who brought the vodka? KIT, you there?

  38. Rumer Willis
    shawnb89
    Commented on this photo:

    Put some shingles on that thing and the dog could live in it.

  39. Peter Billingsley
    Hola
    Commented on this photo:

    Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!

  40. Rumer Willis
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t this dude get married on Johnny Carson or something?

    http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/images2/tiny_tim1.jpg

  41. David Hasselhoff
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    David Hasselhoff… Saville Row’d Warrior. Now please excuse him while he eats a hamburger off the floor…

  42. Rachel Ray
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    It rubs the EVOO into its skin . . .

  43. Hayden Panettiere
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, you just know that’s what her sex doll is going to look like . . .

  44. Tori Spelling
    sparkymcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy Shit!

    Agromegaly is a terrible disease..

  45. Rumer Willis
    Bucky Barnes
    Commented on this photo:

    Breaking News! Chihuahua stranded on Easter Island.

  46. Vin Diesel
    BigJim
    Commented on this photo:

    “Twice I tole tha bitch to shaddup. Twice!”

  47. Tori Spelling
    The-rough-factor
    Commented on this photo:

    Im not de-scrambling that. Its a tmz feature and I don’t like blatant copying.

  48. Bill

    When is Kim going to leak another interacial anal & pee video?

  49. David Hasselhoff
    sparkymcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    “Britain’s got Talent”

    Not since you landed at Heathrow David.

  50. Tori Spelling
    BigJim
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she in the process of getting a colonoscopy?

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