When your dress isn’t longer than your Spanx… you might be a redneck. No, wait.
Welcome to the Thursday edition of The Crap We Missed featuring Ralphie! The Rock touching himself, Rumer Willis‘ rectangle face, Michael Douglas looking so lost and confused that I actually feel remorse and Hayden Panettiere demonstrating how much she loves giant penis. (Spoiler Alert: “SO MUCH!”)
Don’t shoot your eye out,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
her ass must look insane naked. I’d still lead the search team for her asshole.
If only she would ever do some nudity we might know for sure…
She’s a Sea Donkey!
Good get the obligatory Kardahsian post put of the way right at the beginning.
They must have paid their website bill.
when did she turn 50?
Whatcha cooking with those chicken cutlets, Rachel?
Funny, he looked better in the Easter Bunny pajamas…here he just looks creepy!
that’s one ugly dude.
she was actually kind cute 10 years ago. I’m so sick of her fat face now.
Jessica Simpson’s mouth got even bigger, but her boobs shrunk!
hottest midget alive
Tory Spelling’s mom sure looks younger than I remember…..Wait a minute…that IS Tory Spelling making her mom’s “Screaming Shrew” face!
Damn….I said it before & I’ll say it again. WHITE WOMEN AGE HORRIBLY!!! FUCK!!!! This chick isn’t even 40 yet. Why does she look 60!? her neck looks like puppet strings are under her skin. Her skin is bumpy & just bad as fuck. Her face skin also sags like a muthafucker!….No matter how many babies she shits out, it doesn’t make her anymore desirable to the public….Damn I feel sorry for her though…Shit I feel sorry for white bitches as a whole…LMAO!
That’s quite a colostomy bag…
+1
I didn’t know that Spanx had a steel-reinforced version.
Sigh, they use carbon nanorods. In fact, she’s the reason they invented them. Thank God I am here to clear these things up. Back to designing the next generation predator drone.
And here I was thinking they were called carbon nanoTUBES. I stand corrected.
Ralph Macchio called he wants his look back for DWTS.
Charlie Sheen wants his hat back.
Fergie, I have an 8-inch tongue and can breathe through my ears. Call me.
I get really hard every time Jordana Brewster touches me right here!
Nice to see Madam Toussand’s finally got a wax figure that closely resembles the star.
The Chinectomy has helped some, but she still has a man’s face……..Bruce Willis’ to be specific.
He has such purdy blue eyes, I’m glad he never shot one of them out.
Rachel Ray looks like a burnt bisquit.
IS that a giant ALka Seltzer tablet in the bag, Michael? Acid indigestion is a bitch, isn’t it?
LMAO!
Wow jonathan lipnicki got old fast…
Nailed it.
+1
The 5th installment of this movie must be pretty low budget if they cast “mini me” Verne Troyer in it. But it will be cool to see him cruising around and racing in his Mini cooper.
The “Cheshire Cat” visits Letterman to discuss Johnny Depp and the truth behind the “Alice in Wonderland” magic ‘shroom rumors.
Baby, you can detox me any day. If you know what I’m sayin’
she must be hiding a lot of cottage cheese
I’m thinking the tensile strength of that pair of spanx must be at its limit. One rip and it could take out everyone in a 5 block radius.
UAHAHAH +1
That’s hardcore geology right there
A constipated Celine Dion.
Hayden Panettierie demonstrates exactly how it is possible for her to accommodate her Russian boxer boyfriend’s large penis, for an inquisitive fan.
Dammit, you beat me to the punch. And it’s Ukrainian fyi.
Are we back to this whole “don’t offend the Ukrainians” bullshit again? Fuck him! He is a Russian prick for all we westerners care… :)
OK, tuff guy, go call him a Russian to his face and see what happens.
Why are all this guys attempts at “Most important people on the internet” always so long winded?… like the descriptive text under a photo in a medical journal.
pot, meet kettle.
Yeah that’s it. Perceptive.
Ukranian is Russian for all intensive purposes (see what I did there?)
…no…you mean Ukranian is Russian for all intents and purposes except intensive purposes or in tents with porpoises…oh god, I’m so confused.
“Where a Ukranian has passed, a jew has nothing left to do” Russian proverb
Hilary, oh Hilary, I have an engagement ring over here for you . . .
+1
Anyone else thinks she looks like Rosie O’Donnell, circa 1995?
HAHA! Exactly the truth.
Fergie definitely has the female impersonator thing down…(s)he looks almost feminine in this photo.
Oh lord.
Please don’t use any word like “spanks” in reference to “Kim, The Kiloton Keester Kardashian”.
The mind immediately imagines a disciplinary hand coming down for a firm rebuke, only to get lost in a muffled, undulating Bounce-House of Fem-Fat.
.
“I’ll get you and your little dog too!”
exactly what I thought…
It’s as if someone took the most unflattering and incompatible features of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis face and assembled them together in one big..oh wait..
Two pretty parents. One ugly kid. It happens sometimes… tis the fickle way of nature.
That Diane Keaton always dresses like that. What is this, Annie Hall?
Wait, Vin Diesel and the Rock are different people? Wha?
So, who brought the vodka? KIT, you there?
Put some shingles on that thing and the dog could live in it.
lololol
Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!
A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!
Didn’t this dude get married on Johnny Carson or something?
http://www.wilsonsalmanac.com/images2/tiny_tim1.jpg
Oh wow, that was awesome. Nice one.
David Hasselhoff… Saville Row’d Warrior. Now please excuse him while he eats a hamburger off the floor…
It rubs the EVOO into its skin . . .
hahahahahahahahah
Man, you just know that’s what her sex doll is going to look like . . .
Holy Shit!
Agromegaly is a terrible disease..
Breaking News! Chihuahua stranded on Easter Island.
hahaha
“Twice I tole tha bitch to shaddup. Twice!”
Im not de-scrambling that. Its a tmz feature and I don’t like blatant copying.
When is Kim going to leak another interacial anal & pee video?
another pee video? She’s too famous for that now. It’s poop or nothing.
you can always tell the people who didn’t see the video, because they don’t know what’s in it.
“Britain’s got Talent”
Not since you landed at Heathrow David.
+1
Is she in the process of getting a colonoscopy?