The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.27.13

December 27th, 2013 // 438 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which hopefully finds you more relaxed than you were two days ago when you tried to explain why Obamacare had nothing to do with everyone’s UPS packages being late until you gave up and stabbed your own neck with a salad fork. It’s starting to really make sense why rich people just flee to the Caribbean every Christmas, which is exactly what you’re going to find in this gallery. Most notable, is Rihanna in Barbados on a boat full of dudes, so if your coconut water tastes like buttsex for the next couple weeks, you know why. Then there’s Russell Simmons and the boat he mistook for a Russian prostitute, as well as best bros Magic Johnson and Tom Arnold. Wait, what?

Back Monday for another gutshot holiday work week that made me think today was Tuesday — WHERE ARE YOUR NEW RELEASES, REDBOX?!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Samuel L Jackson Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s us on the Jumbotron, hon…and look! We’re sitting next to Samuel L. Jackson! And here I thought it was just some black guy!”

  2. Marlon Wayans Jeans Tucked Into Boots Knit Hat Laker Game
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dad, when can I have a crappy, 5th-network show of my very own?”
    “When you’re 16. Your Uncle Damon and your Uncle Keenan and I are already setting it up.”

  3. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m sure it happens to everybody: when a big-boobed chick is kissing you in the shower, your first thought is “Hey! Let’s take a selfie!”.

  4. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Hank E. Ring
    Commented on this photo:

    Great, now he’s dressing like Prince.

  5. Orlando Bloom Derpface Stupid Hat
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I used to hate this guy so much. Now, I just feel sorry for him. He misses her so much that he’s decided to wear her clothes.

  6. Taye Diggs Sweaty Armpit Stains Hooray Henrys Nightclub
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Deodorant Dan’r must be full up.

  7. Orlando Bloom Derpface Stupid Hat
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Orlando’s one carrot shy of being dressed like a snowman.

  8. Cara Delevingne Butt Bikini
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    First Miley Cyrus now Faith Hill? Barbados must be like Fire Island for lesbians.

  9. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit! He’s so gross! The King of Pop’s head with claw-like sloth hands!

  10. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting Vet Visit
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I see they “‘shopped” the leash out of this pic.

  11. Marlon Wayans Jeans Tucked Into Boots Knit Hat Laker Game
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay son, you dress like Jaden Smith and I’ll dress like Jada Pinkett-Smith.

  12. Bono Eyes Closed In Crowd Of Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    Saint Bono had worked many miracles before, but now he prayed for His reward: “Dear Lord, let me have my artistic integrity back. Oh, and another tax shelter t’would be nice.”

  13. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    What did the five fingers say to the face…

    Seriously, that’s not advisable. The Restylane fillers might shift permanently.

  14. Dave Navarro With Friend Wearing Circle Jerks Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Dave, you missed a spot of skin when you got your ink done–oh wait, you got it. Yep, that’s all of it. You’re officially a Maori tribesman.

  15. Dave Navarro With Friend Wearing Circle Jerks Shirt
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    So Dave Navarro was the “Sinister”demon the whole time?

  16. Benicio Del Toro Pissed Off Look Laker Game
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a clear cut case of demonic possession. It won’t simply “buff out” by taking him to a basketball game.

  17. Cara Delevingne Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Meh.

  18. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Pregnant Girlfriend Lauren Silverman Swimsuit Beach Cover
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see the updated version of the ape to man progression chart.

  19. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    That thing used to be a model?

  20. Coco String Bikini Giant Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this from the Pacific Rim sequel or the new Godzilla movie?

  21. Rihanna Bikini On Yacht Full Of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, 6 has faded into 4 rapidly.

  22. Molly Sims Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    The visual definition of a Levittown MILF.

  23. Robert Irvine Shirtless Ripped Muscles
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Gromit sure must love him some nipple clamps.

  24. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Panties See Through Lingerie Instagram
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Like I always say. A bathroom can never have too many garbage cans

  25. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Frank and Dennis are going to be so jealous. Especially Dennis.

  26. Marie Osmond Visiting Pediatric Patients
    Commented on this photo:

    “You couldn’t find one who knows who I am? Just one?”

  27. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, no, and I think you know why, Magic…No, not because you’re black…”

  28. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    “Can I crawl inside your navel and take a nap?”

  29. Robert Irvine Shirtless Ripped Muscles
    Toopier
    Commented on this photo:

    Please, put your Smedium shirt back on.

  30. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Huge Mom Boobs Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Patsy Stone is pregnant?

  31. Busy Philipps Butt Tight Pants With Old Man With Crazy Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought James Doohan died years ago.

  32. Prince William Scared To Get Hit By Ball Charity Football Match Castle Rising
    Commented on this photo:

    “NOT THE FACE!…NOT THE FACE!”

  33. Prince Harry Squatting In Front Of Kids Christmas Day Service The Church Of St Mary Magdalene
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez Harry, I can understand if you’re not a church person but taking a dump in the driveway is so not cool!

  34. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Aunt Jemima
    Commented on this photo:

    Please, please, please tell me that Pai Mei has taught that guy the three inch punch or five-point-exploding-face technique.

  35. Coco String Bikini Giant Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It was about this time Coco realized that the guy who applied the sun tan lotion to her body didn’t have a bottle.

  36. Coco String Bikini Giant Cleavage Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time she rolls over the tide comes in.

  37. Russell Simmons Climbing Into Boat
    Aunt Jemima
    Commented on this photo:

    If its white he’ll fuck it.

  38. Rihanna Bikini On Yacht Full Of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    Non swimmers.

  39. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, you’re right. It’s just as warm as actual flesh.

  40. Kevin Hart Checking Out Laker Girl In Front Of His Wife
    Dr Paul Van Nostrum
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope the white dude’s a friend and not a bodyguard. My dad could probably beat him up.

  41. Prince Harry Squatting In Front Of Kids Christmas Day Service The Church Of St Mary Magdalene
    Commented on this photo:

    Out of frame, the piss boy is running to his aid with a chamber pot.

  42. Larry King Eating With Fingers In Mouth
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck it, it’ll grow back.

  43. Busy Philipps Butt Tight Pants With Old Man With Crazy Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy gives mustache rides on his face bus.

  44. Russell Simmons Climbing Into Boat
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, I thought it was a stereotype.

  45. Dave Navarro With Friend Wearing Circle Jerks Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Dave is just thinking about his solo in “Three Days.”

  46. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    Commented on this photo:

    Earvin’s got the moobs like Daddy

  47. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Pregnant Girlfriend Lauren Silverman Swimsuit Beach Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    I feel like the pointing kid might be Fish.

  48. Benicio Del Toro Pissed Off Look Laker Game
    Aunt Jemima
    Commented on this photo:

    Ai Caramba! If only my people could jump the border fence like these ni… nice fellow do. Quando? Quando? QUANDOOOOO?

  49. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who’s sad!”

  50. Busy Philipps Butt Tight Pants With Old Man With Crazy Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    “Not sayin’ you’ve got the dia bit ess. Just that you might get the dia bit ess. But I’ve got some potion.”

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