The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.27.13

December 27th, 2013 // 438 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which hopefully finds you more relaxed than you were two days ago when you tried to explain why Obamacare had nothing to do with everyone’s UPS packages being late until you gave up and stabbed your own neck with a salad fork. It’s starting to really make sense why rich people just flee to the Caribbean every Christmas, which is exactly what you’re going to find in this gallery. Most notable, is Rihanna in Barbados on a boat full of dudes, so if your coconut water tastes like buttsex for the next couple weeks, you know why. Then there’s Russell Simmons and the boat he mistook for a Russian prostitute, as well as best bros Magic Johnson and Tom Arnold. Wait, what?

Back Monday for another gutshot holiday work week that made me think today was Tuesday — WHERE ARE YOUR NEW RELEASES, REDBOX?!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Robert Irvine Shirtless Ripped Muscles
    Commented on this photo:

    Does he wax his peaches as well?

  2. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    Commented on this photo:

    eww.

  3. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Drew
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold the power that turned George Michael strait.

  4. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting Vet Visit
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    … and then we’ll have to select a wedding cake. I’d go with orange cake. Wouldn’t you?! I knew you would. We are so alike. For flowers we’ll call my mother… Now, you should select the champagne but I’d go with Moët …
    - KALEY! All I asked was do you want to reserve a table for tonight.

  5. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Panties See Through Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice ass…useless twat

  6. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    Commented on this photo:

    Theres nothing magic about that body, Tom.

  7. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    good way to lose your fingers.

  8. Prince Harry Squatting In Front Of Kids Christmas Day Service The Church Of St Mary Magdalene
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    I was dreaming when I wrote this
    So sue me if I go too fast
    But life is a party
    And parties weren’t meant to last

  9. Russell Simmons Climbing Into Boat
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    See! You spend all your time making millions of dollars and suddenly forget how to swim and need guys to help you. What a loser! I wouldn’t change places with him. No, I wouldn’t… I mean it. I have my dignity…

  10. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Huge Mom Boobs Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Good god she breeds like a fly !

    • 3 children in about 8 years means she breeds like a fly? I don’t get it.

    • Dr Paul Van Nostrum

      So you mean she lays her larvae at the city dump? They become maggots that transform into houseflies only to live to repeat the entire cycle again and again? Obviously that’s what you meant.

  11. Rihanna Bikini On Yacht Full Of Dudes
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhh, what do I have to do to get some attention here?! What do I have to offer?… I know!… Anyone wants to slap me?

  12. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold the Pied Piper of Pedophilia.

  13. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, isn’t Tom Arnold the fat one?

  14. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting Vet Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    Kaley sure knows how to make it clear who wears the pants in that relationship.

  15. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s the homo ?

  16. Russell Simmons Climbing Into Boat
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    “He’s starting to fuck the boat again! quick, bring in one of those hookers!”

  17. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hm, where have I seen you before? Oh! You must be Jennifer Lawrence’s grandmother! *caresses cheek* I cannot believe what your granddaughter has to put up with in the washed-up, 80-something hag of a comedian who . . . Oh, god. You’re face is melting off.”

  18. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Pregnant Girlfriend Lauren Silverman Swimsuit Beach Cover
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    Kid: “The tits are real!”

  19. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    After two marriages and 3 kids, take a bow princess.

  20. Marie Osmond Visiting Pediatric Patients
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m sorry that you’re dying, but HELLO! I’m a celebrity that you’ve never heard of, and I’m bringing you two of the cheapest items I could find at Toys R Us.”

    • seriously, id at least do the research of finding out what these kids can and can’t have(as in types of candy and shit) and just splurge, you’d think it’d make them feel good after spending money on shit and posing but, alas, so many celebs are awful and dont really care.

  21. Samuel L Jackson Laker Game
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Crackers. Why did it have to be crackers?”

  22. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    “There! If I cover up that much of your face, you ALMOST look like a normal human!”

  23. Busy Philipps Butt Tight Pants With Old Man With Crazy Moustache
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Greetings, young lady! I’d like to discuss the issue of child labor with you, as well as the necessity of a minimum wage. Flower?”

  24. Benicio Del Toro Pissed Off Look Laker Game
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait, HE’S my father?”

  25. Marie Osmond Visiting Pediatric Patients
    bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Kid: “Lady, can you cure my cancer ?”

    Marie: “If any of you are filming this, I want that edited out, okay ?”.

  26. Kevin Hart Checking Out Laker Girl In Front Of His Wife
    Commented on this photo:

    “Diamonds, daisies, snowflakes…that girl.”

  27. Orlando Bloom Derpface Stupid Hat
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever since Miranda left Orlando felt weird. The birds were singing, the sky was blue and he felt free. But still something was missing. It was really starting to bother him. Then he realized he has a leash home he can wear.

  28. Orlando Bloom Derpface Stupid Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    “Diamonds, daisies, snowflakes…that girl.”

  29. Tits and Ass

    Today is Friday, not Thursday…

  30. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s nice to see Samantha and Lindsey back together and happy.

  31. Dave Navarro With Friend Wearing Circle Jerks Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look, dude. Just give me a quarter, or move along.”

  32. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    A tourist takes part in the new Hanukkah tradition of rubbing the
    wealthy Jewish troll on Park Avenue for good luck.

  33. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Photoshop!!! Michael Jackson was never this close to such great boobs. Don’t care what anyone says.

  34. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    Never meet your heroes. And definitely never meet them shirtless.

  35. Samuel L Jackson Laker Game
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    I had it with these motherfuckin’ yuppies on this motherfuckin’ basketball court!

  36. Prince William Scared To Get Hit By Ball Charity Football Match Castle Rising
    KC
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s pretty much England’s foreign policy in a nutshell.

  37. Samuel L Jackson Laker Game
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    How the fuck did I end up all the way down here ? You can
    barely see Jack from this seat. I gotta get me a new agent !

  38. Dave Navarro With Friend Wearing Circle Jerks Shirt
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Dave Navarro is very short…i cant believe he found a friend shorter than him.

  39. Kimora Lee Simmons Bikini
    Balls Mcgee
    Commented on this photo:

    We’re gonna need a wetsuit over here… and a paper bag… fuck it, just throw the haggard bitch in a sack.

  40. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    Commented on this photo:

    “Woodwind Allen.”

    Ah, but seriously, he fucks his daughter.

  41. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Panties See Through Lingerie Instagram
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t care if she’s a bitch. Nice ass! Would do!

    Sorry, disregard above message. Didn’t lock my station and my dick got to the keyboard again.

  42. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Panties See Through Lingerie Instagram
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing clever to say here, because this bitch is nothing, but
    fuck she got all hot again. Very fucking hot.

  43. Jennifer Nicole Lee High Leg Stretch Sports Bra Yoga Pants
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    too late. The roll has been cast.

  44. Bono Eyes Closed In Crowd Of Fans
    Crb
    Commented on this photo:

    Enjoying the smell of his own farts.

  45. Benicio Del Toro Pissed Off Look Laker Game
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    Still wearing his Wolfman makeup???

  46. Marie Osmond Visiting Pediatric Patients
    Commented on this photo:

    So here’s a woman who is bringing gifts and visiting sick kids, and who has (as far as anyone knows) never done a mean spirited thing to anyone in her entire life. But, she’s white, mormon, and so is maybe someone who votes Republican – let the attacks commence! Really, unleash your hate filled small minded baseless attacks on this woman, because how else can the world be inspired by your liberal views of tolerance and progressivism if you don’t unleash hate filled attacks against anyone and everyone who might possibly disagree with your political views, which you have so carefully crafted in your vast 20 some years of experience living sheltered lily white privileged lives all within 10 miles of the place you were born?

    • Yup. I’ll go with that. And she’s still hot.

    • dontkillthemessenger

      STFU you whining baby.

    • oh PLEASE. go wipe your ass! you’ve clearly raged so hard you must have at least left a few skid marks. what site do you really think you’re on?

      your uptight political pea-brain is in a paranoid, disease-like state. you couldn’t be any more ‘typical’ when it comes to your apparent politics. how do people like you with no sense of humor even end up reading a site like this? talk about hate… your little hissy fit looked like it made your fingers hurt while typing.

      • I would’ve liked this if you could have just not lost it so much, you see how OP controlled themselves? That makes it easier to take, when you can’t help but shove all that negative shit into a comment, why should you be taken any more seriously than her? I agree with your points mostly but honestly your comment makes you look like the one having a hissy fit. I think Marie Osmond should’ve fucking bought every damn thing that could fit into that kids room, i mean i cant believe she has the ovaries to pose with such cheap gifts while her outfit probably costs more than everything in that room. it’s all fucked up Jackie

    • Dr Paul Van Nostrum

      Negro please! You don’t know how I or anyone else on here lives. Go back in your hole and watch Fox News.

    • Go fuck yourself, and no one brought up anything political or anything about religion or anything else, you did. You created an issue where there was none.

    • Yeah, because this clearly has to do with religion or politics, and not the fact that some random celebrity is one again using charitable works for free PR.

      This is The Superficial. It could be a photo of a liberal black Buddhist and people would say the same shit if they were having their photo taken to show how philanthropic they are. Do you have ANY idea how many rich/famous people donate MILLIONS to charity, but don’t get ridiculed? I’ll give you a hint – you probably don’t because they do it without press or paps and no one fucking knows unless they take the time to look it up.

    • Johnny Barbells

      …i hope you look back and feel sufficiently stupid …sittin’ over there bubbling over about some imagined outrage …you must be so much fun at holiday gatherings.

    • j/k

      I am not defending this guy’s rant in any way. I do see the point he was trying to make though. You expect shallow and judgmental behavior from conservatives but it’s disappointing to see so called liberals behave that way. Unfortunately this is the internet, where in every corner the motto seems to be “Let’s talk badly about the people who aren’t like us.”

    • Oh for fuck’s sake, EVERYONE gets snarked on in TCWM. It’s the whole fucking *point* of TWCM. So take your incredibly disingenuous outrage somewhere else, schmidtler, because we ain’t buyin’.

    • So… you’ve never been to this site before or looked at any of the other photo captions, have you?

  47. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting Vet Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    After teaching him to beg and heel, Kaley will now teach Ryan to roll over and play dead.

  48. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Panties See Through Lingerie Instagram
    Ronaldo
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no idea why she is famous or considered a celebrity, but that is a cool photo of a nice ASS!!

  49. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    Commented on this photo:

    “I like hanging out with you, Tom – whenever I’m down on myself for being fat, old, HIV positive, and having a flamboyantly gay son, all I have to do is look at you and remember that fat obnoxious ass bitch Roseann divorced your ass, and everything doesn’t seem so bad!”

  50. Orlando Bloom Derpface Stupid Hat
    anonymous
    Commented on this photo:

    He must have heard Disney is rebooting Indiana Jones. He better plant that seed before Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, and Tim Burton get there.

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