The Crap We Missed – Friday 12.27.13

December 27th, 2013 // 438 Comments

Welcome to Friday’s The Crap We Missed which hopefully finds you more relaxed than you were two days ago when you tried to explain why Obamacare had nothing to do with everyone’s UPS packages being late until you gave up and stabbed your own neck with a salad fork. It’s starting to really make sense why rich people just flee to the Caribbean every Christmas, which is exactly what you’re going to find in this gallery. Most notable, is Rihanna in Barbados on a boat full of dudes, so if your coconut water tastes like buttsex for the next couple weeks, you know why. Then there’s Russell Simmons and the boat he mistook for a Russian prostitute, as well as best bros Magic Johnson and Tom Arnold. Wait, what?

Back Monday for another gutshot holiday work week that made me think today was Tuesday — WHERE ARE YOUR NEW RELEASES, REDBOX?!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like her own selfies have been sooooooo successful at getting her work, she had to enlist the help of a testosterone loving lesbian.

  2. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    Commented on this photo:

    Woody learned his lesson the hard way…never leave your instrument unattended at band camp.

  3. Magic Johnson Shirtless Manboobs Tom Arnold
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet Tom hasn’t felt that tiny since working on Roseanne.

  4. Prince William Scared To Get Hit By Ball Charity Football Match Castle Rising
    Commented on this photo:

    It would look more manly if he just took a dive.

  5. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    Commented on this photo:

    meh. He’s no Ron Burgundy.

  6. Marie Osmond Visiting Pediatric Patients
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s still hot.

  7. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    AteIsEnough
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit…MJ resurrected!!

  8. Prince William Scared To Get Hit By Ball Charity Football Match Castle Rising
    Commented on this photo:

    so funny it needs no caption.

  9. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Let me see? Yes, all that surgery has made your face feel like the carapace of a turtle.

  10. Prince Harry Squatting In Front Of Kids Christmas Day Service The Church Of St Mary Magdalene
    Commented on this photo:

    he dropped a hungover royal turd, which would later fetch 900£ on ebay.

  11. Bono Eyes Closed In Crowd Of Fans
    Commented on this photo:

    speaking of hungover turd.

  12. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    I have a message from Alec Baldwin *SLAP*

  13. Kevin Hart Checking Out Laker Girl In Front Of His Wife
    Commented on this photo:

    wow. check out his focus.

  14. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Even without the hair and clothes, you can tell the guy is gay by the kiss. No man alive kisses a chick with that much sideboob like he’s kissing his sister. Not even if your sister had that much sideboob.

    • His eyes are pinched tight not only to avoid the reality that he’s kissing a girl but to help him resist the urge to clean that toothpaste splattered mirror.

      • Might not be toothpaste. It could be zit pus or even jizz.

        Regardless of whatever the hell it is why wouldn’t a person clean their friggin’ mirror before taking a picture of themselves?

        Nice side boob though. I can’t take that away from her.

      • Jack Ketch

        Even if she’s ugly and her tits are fakers?

  15. Russell Simmons Climbing Into Boat
    Commented on this photo:

    his annual pilgrimage to the spot where he dumps all his hookers at the bottom of the ocean.

  16. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    The new photo in the dictionary under ‘Bitch slap’

  17. Rihanna Bikini On Yacht Full Of Dudes
    Aya
    Commented on this photo:

    when you see it..

  18. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    i wonder if she takes Sears Card. I think I might have a shot if she does.

  19. Prince William Scared To Get Hit By Ball Charity Football Match Castle Rising
    Commented on this photo:

    “Don’t look at my hair!!”

  20. Aubrey ODay Butt Thong Panties See Through Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    dear Aubrey,

    we don’t give a shit about you. Especially because Kelly Brook.
    But I’m sure this will make Zaloog’s whole year.

    love,

    everybody

  21. Cara Delevingne Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Sasquatch called… wants his eyebrow back

  22. Kevin Hart Checking Out Laker Girl In Front Of His Wife
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah yes, the old ‘Oh, I am just kinda looking at them but really feeling it, so don’t worry honey’ look.

  23. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Commented on this photo:

    Even though it took 40 years, Jim Bob finally got to teach a bitch what happens when she don’t have his money.

  24. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    dixonblonde
    Commented on this photo:

    I call this playing technique, “The Adopted Kid Swallow.”

  25. Larry King Eating With Fingers In Mouth
    Commented on this photo:

    Gollum really doesn’t clean up very good.

  26. Molly Sims Butt Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    A 3 on the Candice Swanepoel scale.

  27. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no idea who Aubrey O’Day is, but why is she kissing that girl with the stubble?

  28. Rihanna Bikini On Yacht Full Of Dudes
    Commented on this photo:

    Rihanna, your days as a sex symbol are numbered if dudes would rather huddle up for an old fashioned circle jerk than talk to you.

  29. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Later that same evening:
    - Sorry, Aubrey. Didn’t realize your boobs were hanging out. I’ll delete this from Instagram right away.
    - DON’T… YOU… DARE!

  30. Orlando Bloom Derpface Stupid Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    “I never go anywhere without my seatbelt”

  31. Kaley Cuoco Ryan Sweeting Vet Visit
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    He mentioned ‘marriage’ and she celebrated by having him neutered. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  32. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s finally happened. He reached his final form: Michael Jackson.

  33. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    Commented on this photo:

    Corey finally figures out if he only rents ONE hooker at a time, he can afford nicer clothes. He hasn’t bought the clothes yet.

  34. Russell Simmons Climbing Into Boat
    Brandi Glanville
    Commented on this photo:

    Like I was saying…
    -

  35. Kevin Hart Checking Out Laker Girl In Front Of His Wife
    dixonblonde
    Commented on this photo:

    *thinks* “Damn, how Will Smith be pullin’ them blonde Australian bitches? Not with no gotdamn ‘Grudge Match’, belee dat.”

  36. Marie Osmond Visiting Pediatric Patients
    Urbanspaceman
    Commented on this photo:

    Since when did altruism include photographs?

  37. Busy Philipps Butt Tight Pants With Old Man With Crazy Moustache
    Commented on this photo:

    The talking walrus has many fans

  38. Woody Allen Playing Clarinet With New Orleans Jazz Band UCLA
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    Taboo fantasies and guilt. It’s an addictive aphrodisiac.

  39. Dave Navarro With Friend Wearing Circle Jerks Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re waiting for Billy Ray to show up and complete the circle.

  40. Larry King Eating With Fingers In Mouth
    dixonblonde
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fuck a Sea-Bond! Get me my Poly-Grip!”

  41. Cara Delevingne Butt Bikini
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a rather perky little behind.

  42. Man Pretending To Slap Joan Rivers Face Fur Coat
    Mohawk Disco
    Commented on this photo:

    *SLAP*
    - Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you were Joan Rivers
    - I AM! I just came from my plastic surgeon.

  43. Corey Feldman Prostitute Nipples No Bra
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen her before! With her looks, she shouldn’t really have to offer volume discounts. Who is her pi…agent?

  44. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    sticky-armadillo
    Commented on this photo:

    God Damn what does she do spit her tooth paste at the mirror?! Maybe its not tooth paste…

  45. Kevin Hart Checking Out Laker Girl In Front Of His Wife
    George P Burdell
    Commented on this photo:

    Kevin Hart’s missing thought bubble: “Ho! Ho! Ho!”

  46. Simon Cowell Shirtless Hairy Manboobs Pregnant Girlfriend Lauren Silverman Swimsuit Beach Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    While most were thrilled to get their picture taken, the youngest kid was surely thinking ‘where’d the douche come from?

  47. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell someone’s really into it when they choose to take a selfie instead of copping a feel.

  48. Samuel L Jackson Laker Game
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    “Geez, that motherfucker is wearin’ fuckin’ sandals.”

  49. Prince William Scared To Get Hit By Ball Charity Football Match Castle Rising
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever wonder why Britain lost their empire? Wonder no more.

  50. Aubrey ODay Side Boob Kissing Dude In Mirror Selfie Instagram
    donkeylicks
    Commented on this photo:

    This one time at band camp, I married my daughter.

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