Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Val Kilmer trying to explain what the hell happened to him – “Are you familiar with ham?” – Katherine Heigl who apparently hates visible camel toe as much as she hates testicles because she’s a witch and, seriously, I’ll back the paparazzi up 99% of the time, but stop taking pictures of Michael Douglas when he’s having a stroke. I know that’s a small, very limited if not impossible window, but Jesus Christ.
Today’s Roger Sterling picture brought to you by Cialis: Your secretary won’t know what hit her,
- The Superficial
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Photos: Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Zombo the clown
Eddie Munster’s favorite TV personality.
Beaten down husband, see “Brad Pitt Syndrome”
why?
he’s bangin it, & thats good enough
Everyone is so mean, it’s obvious he’s suffering from narcolepsy
The Almost Famous sequel was widely panned by critics.
I’d let her check my prostate…just sayin’.
Checking how many of his 15 minutes are left.
I thought this fucker died. oh well…I’m sure it’s not far off.
It’s like Diana Krall and January Jones had a baby and then exposed it to radiation
He could produce a watermelon and a gun and they’d still pretend not to notice he was black
You’d think if you’re that hot, you wouldn’t need Kesha to make your tuxedo
I admit, I thought it was sean connery and got all excited…
Wait, there’s a man in this picture?
All I could think about was “Wow, what a nice towel!”
Your money or your… ah forget it
Next up, a remake of The Bellboy.
“save me, I didn’t eat breakfast, I have no mass and will be washed out to sea!”
How exactly did John Mayer steal his Johnny Depp DNA?
She looks like James Earl Jones transforming into the snake in Conan the Barbarian.
DOOM!
Is there an energy crisis? ‘Cause I see an untapped natural resource.
Lol lookin mad pedestrian
Looks like Gonzo.
You’re a dirty pirate hooker
Bullshit, I can play anybody. I can play Mike Tyson for Christ Sake! Watch this…
Insert wax figure joke here
Madam, I’m placing you under arrest for Offences Against the Clown.
If it’s “Fighters Only,” then what are she and Jenna Jameson doing here? Mud wrestling? Well, why aren’t we seeing pictures of THAT?
She and Jenna are fighting their desire to have lots and lots of sex with me. True story.
It’s because both of them are best described as “beat the fuck up”.
They are invited to the event because they have taken more shots to the face than most MMA fighters.
Diddy’s so cool, when he elbows a woman, her dress makes its own little crash graphic.
She’s turning into Joan Rivers
exactly what I thought.
…fifty eight! Fourteen fifty NIIIINE!!! …NOOO!
Looks like the aliens finally got to Scully.
Does that make any sense? I never watched the show.
Looks like the Betty Ford clinic let him out on a night pass.
Are we sure this isn’t that Indian actor from The Big Bang Theory? Or any Indian actor? Or any Indian person?
+1 he definitely looks Indian!
I call this one ‘The Art of Wearing a Hat’. It’s not finished.
“Look, I wore a hat. Where there used to not be a hat.”
(Referencing Sondheim does not make me gay. It does not, I tell you!)
Pork ‘n’ Has Beens
Even if he can talk that’s going to be a one sided conversation
It’s that guy.
OMG hair is AWFUL.
Aw dammit.
He used to be quite the hottie.
Police and firefighters are apparently ravenous carnivores.
Now you come and say “Don Corleone, give me justice.” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me “Godfather.” You come into my house on the day my daughter is to be married and you ask me to do murder – for money.
“You talkin’ to me Red Squirrel? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin’ to?”
Is she melting?
I think I’ve seen this woman have sex…but she didn’t look like that at all.
I don’t know whether to shit or wind my watch! Guess I’ll just shit on my watch.
That must be a fake schlong in his pocket.
She’s not quite at the stage where she’ll realize we give about as much of a fuck about her being there as she does.
They look cute together.
Good luck with that.
butterface
Tits. I win.
It makes me love her even more.
I hope he’s got work. What happened to him was so fucked up.