Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed where we’ve got Brett Ratner just now hearing about Red Lobster’s Endless Shrimp promotion, that time someone forgot to sweep the sidewalks clear of any and all Rupert Sanders, the unfortunate graying pattern in Alan Rickman‘s moustache, cross-contamination, straight-up thugs, and the night A-Rod totally got drunk-dialed. “C’mmon stud, I won’t even tuck it..jusslike you like it.”
Drunk Nate Silver just wrote ’3lbs 6oz, 12 weeks premature, FAS, Father? Beyond statistical probability.’ in a maternity ward log,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
J-Lo squared…
Yep, looks like a guy she’d date.
…And vice versa.
Looks like a date she’d guy…?
Nice dress. It’ll look even better crumpled up on my bedroom floor in the morning.
Still would. [Looks at pants] Still wood.
Hahva Nageeluh Mutha Fucka. (He best not take that line for his next film either)
Been there, done that.
And that one and that one…
Which one is her head?
Well, the bald ones clearly belong to Bruce Willis & Michael Chiklis.
I think a guy that jumped bail in season one is still hiding under her boobs.
You mean ‘a gang that jumped bail’, right?
Douche, douche, douche and the duck is coming shortly. Or not. Depends on her reflexes.
Excuse me! My tits are up here…right near my face.
Danny Trejo’s innate badassery easily offsets the natural gayness of the Jonas Brothers.
Hey Cam! Over here! I need a spot for this benchpress.
What’s wrong hun? Your boyfriend didn’t give you a reach-around?
That’s how you do a sexy flat ass, Kristen Stewart.
Double oh seven inches in his left pocket.
(….did I take the Adderall or Prozac when I got out of the car?….eh, I’ll just take another 3 of each)
H&M finally got their edge!
Only Spaz de la Hurtya can make a cheap $19.99 top and $24.99 skirt say: “I’ll drink you under the table, fuck you ’til your eyes cross, then kill ya, baby!”
She’s a hot fucking mess, but I’d let her do those things to me.
Make way for the tits.
This is how they’ll come, looking like regular dickwads and then BOOM! They’ve blown up the Chateau Marmont.
“Oh ‘D’Js? I’m at the wrong event.”
Well played, sir!
This is the most normal she’s looked in a long time.
She looks stunning here. Very well done.
I love her, ever since I say her on Hoda and Katy Lee on ST Patty’s Day she was so cute and a real Hoot.
They’re just… RIGHT THERE, aren’t they?
Jesus David – go ahead… I know you wanna scratch it.
Uh, is she pregnant and hammered, or just suffering from cirrhosis of the liver?
THANK YOU.
This looks like the start of a joke.
A bull mastiff and an afghan hound cross the street…
Wow… I mean… just… wow…
More of her in the future please, preferably in a bikini
I like the lightning pattern running down the side of the dress. Makes her look fast. Like The Flash. I watch too much Justice League.
HEY ITS ONE OF THEM WALMART PHOTOS
Hans! Bubbie! You’ve got my moustache!
Not seen…the photographer’s assistant waving Kate Middleton’s thong.
HOLY FUCK.
Why is this woman invited anywhere?
Let’s step away from the tragedy of her face for a second. What is up with her ass? Is she walking up a flight of stairs or something? Why is one cheek higher than the other like that?
I’ll be literal larry here and say that’s not her ass cheek, it’s an unfortunate buckle in the fabric of her dress.
boots made for walking…face made for radio
Those clothes have magical hoisting properties.
It’s not a good look when you’re Ellen Barkin from the neck up and Matthew McConnaughey from the neck down.
If I saw a woman in public that looked like this, I would insert my credit card into her cleavage and say “You’ve got 3 hours. Go.”
Dog the Bounty Hunter is colored “Hot Dog”.
Fuck Breezy.
They gave the wrong one botox.
Wow she’s fucking hot!!!!!!!!!!!!
“I, Don Zaloog, being of sound mind, hereby declare that my dying wish, should I ever be at the point of no return, is to die with my face buried in Christina Hendricks’ massive sweater puppies.”
Oh good, the ducklips trend has found its way to the male gender, more people to laugh at!
That’s not duck lips, that’s a vaginal disease.
What we can see appears to be about one fifth her actual breast size. I think her tits are the size of my apartment.
They got names now? And they made a film about them? Now that’s a career in showbiz baby!
It’s just as good from the side too. Why hasn’t she allowed a real doll company to make one with her physical dimensions yet? They’d make millions!
The shepherd’s dog brought the herd around so charles can size up his next sexual conquest.
I am sorry, but I am fresh out of ‘horse race’/'Sarah Jessica Parker’ jokes.