The Crap We Missed – Thursday 11.14.13

November 14th, 2013 // 335 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, where I just learned I work for a God, so excuse me while I go round up every piece of drunken evidence I have on Him (looking at you, apartment stove) and hatch my blackmail scheme. Let’s see how he likes only two temple messages a day, sucker! As for today’s TCWM, we’ve got Cameron Diaz reacting to a man guessing she’s younger than 52, Mike Tyson pointing out the scary man who keeps eating his pigeons and Mel Gibson placed into a situation that’s like putting a starving wolf next to an injured deer, or a maniacal bigot next a possibly homosexual minority.

Last one’s a little on the nose, huh? I don’t care, it’s funny because he murdered that man. That man’s dead now,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Dennis Haskins Moustache Sugar Factory Grand Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    I think we found our lead for The Rob Ford bio on Lifetime.

  2. Mike Tyson Indisputable Truth Book Signing Barnes & Noble
    Commented on this photo:

    Would have been funnier if the cover had inmate numbers at the bottom of the photo.

  3. Mike Tyson Indisputable Truth Book Signing Barnes & Noble
    Commented on this photo:

    “Thish wash me befaw Swimfast. Now I jusht have a shake at bweakfast, a shake at wunch, fowwowed by a thenthible meaw. NOw wook at me!”

  4. Chris Noth Moustache Messy Hair Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    First time in a convertible Chris?

  5. Jason Patric Hugging Matt Damon Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha ha, I made $40 million this year, now go wait in the car until I am ready to leave driver.

  6. Jason Patric Hugging Matt Damon Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fuck, your teeth are so tiny!”

  7. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Reception Honoring Joel Coen Ethan Coen T Bone Burnett To Celebrate The Music Of Inside Llewyn Davis Buffalo Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Still drunk.

  8. Jon Hamm Irritated Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea Hamm was the head butler on Downton Abbey.

  9. Robin Antin Frozen Face Legs Leather Miniskirt Sugar Factory Grand Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Although she looks kind of old and kind of a mess, at the end of the night after about 5 drinks, I think yes.

  10. Sylvester Stallone Fur Fringe Leather Jacket Signing Autograph On Fans Back
    Commented on this photo:

    I have to say, this dude has the best taste in leather jackets ever. He has tons and they all look awesome.

  11. Pamela Anderson Short Haircut
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, she has clothes, and appropriate clothes and she looks, dare I say, classy.

  12. Amy Childs Cleavage Ideal Home Show At Christmas At Earls Court
    Commented on this photo:

    ” ‘How much?’ Well, the enhancement procedure cost £2000. Oh—you meant how much for a shag?? Why, I never…
    £2000.”

  13. Amy Childs Cleavage Ideal Home Show At Christmas At Earls Court
    Commented on this photo:

    Yep my ideal home has a couple of these. My kids sit on them when they watch TV.

  14. Mel Gibson Rembrandt Flores Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    He has that look like “I think it is Tiger Woods but I am not sure” and bootleg Tiger has that look like “Shit, it is Mel Gibson, I really don’t want to get photographed with him”.

  15. Ireland Baldwin Butt Underwear Heels Instagram
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    …yeah…so how bout this whole Miami Dolphins thing? Little overblown if you ask me, haha, right??”

    “……”

  16. Mel Gibson Rembrandt Flores Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    …yeah…so how bout this whole Miami Dolphins thing? Little overblown if you ask me, haha, right??”

    “……”

  17. Sean Young Huge Forehead Vein 700 Sundays Opening Night Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    is that tom hanks?

  18. Chelsea Handler Drunk Messy Hair In Face Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s called a comb. It’s one aisle over from the pregnancy tests and lice shampoo.

  19. Jennifer Hudson Legs Mindress Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    What did they name her star? Ashy McStomach Staple?

  20. Tim Robbins Talking To Young Woman In Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet he’s asking himself right now why he stayed married to that old bag for the past 15 years

    • my2cents

      Get out, that girl is one fugly legged, big eared scrawny woman. Susan Sarandon is way hotter. There is a saying that goes “older men date younger women they wouldn’t have been caught dead with when they were young”. This is a prime example.

    • Just FYI, he wasn’t actually married to Susan Sarandon. They were longtime “partners”.

  21. Mel Gibson Rembrandt Flores Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s embarrassed to be seen with who here?

  22. Chelsea Handler Drunk Messy Hair In Face Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    “And now, ladies and gentlemen! Feast your eyes on the next beast! A long haired albino Mountain Gorilla! Straight from the foothills of southwest Asia! Not only does she know some English, but she likes to fuck as well! Bidding starts at $100,000.”

  23. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Reception Honoring Joel Coen Ethan Coen T Bone Burnett To Celebrate The Music Of Inside Llewyn Davis Buffalo Club
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like it won’t be too long before someone’s been on both sides of the Pulp Fiction-style “dealing with overdose” experience.

  24. Ireland Baldwin Butt Underwear Heels Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks pretty damn good here.

  25. Sean Young Huge Forehead Vein 700 Sundays Opening Night Broadway
    angerinside
    Commented on this photo:

    “700 Sundays Eating Potatoes and Cheese” would be more accurate.

  26. Teresa Palmer Baby Bump Sweatpants
    sprub
    Commented on this photo:

    Zzzeksy !

  27. Ireland Baldwin Butt Underwear Heels Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    How long until she reveals that her and Slater have been broken up for months now?

  28. Robin Antin Frozen Face Legs Leather Miniskirt Sugar Factory Grand Opening
    sprub
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the face that launched a new way to use grocery bags.

  29. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Nipples Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    The permafrost nips gauntlet has been thrown down. Will reigning champion Jennifer Aniston accept the challenge?

  30. Robin Antin Frozen Face Legs Leather Miniskirt Sugar Factory Grand Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure it wasn’t the grand opening of Sausage Factory?

  31. Chris Noth Moustache Messy Hair Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Codot
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s okay Mister Noth, you can sit down for Gus.

  32. Cameron Diaz Crazy Eyes Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a dead on Nic Cage impression.

  33. Jennifer Hudson Legs Mindress Hollywood Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Congrats.

  34. Mel B Sucking On Lollipop Sugar Factory Grand Opening
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is how you hook a man. Use your lips, baby girl.”

  35. Peter Dinklage Sunglasses On Nose Erica Schmidt Daughter Zelig
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look, Sweetheart, I grew a little! I can now see waaayyy above my shades! Yeah!”

  36. Chris Noth Moustache Messy Hair Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    What was he arrested for?

  37. Lisa Lampanelli Thin Weight Loss Half Shaved Head 700 Sundays Broadway Opening Night
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m glad she decided to lose weight. Skin’s a little loose but I’m hoping that can be remedied without cosmetic surgery.

  38. Rosanna Arquette Haggard Face Reception Honoring Joel Coen Ethan Coen T Bone Burnett To Celebrate The Music Of Inside Llewyn Davis Buffalo Club
    Commented on this photo:

    She used to be pretty hot.

  39. Cameron Diaz Crazy Eyes Annie Set
    Hey Fella, Are You George Zimmerman?
    Commented on this photo:

    AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGG!

  40. Jason Patric Hugging Matt Damon Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    “I didn’t even know you were still alive.
    “Neither did anyone else.”

  41. Tim Robbins Talking To Young Woman In Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn but that girl has some long stems.

    • Mike

      It’s where those stems connect that’s the problem.
      There aren’t enough antibiotics in the world
      to roll those dice… No thank you… loll

  42. Mel Gibson Rembrandt Flores Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Rembrandt Flores thought balloon: “Don’t notice I’m not a white Catholic…Don’t notice I’m not a white Catholic…Don’t notice I’m not a white Catholic…Don’t notice I’m not a white Catholic…”

  43. Mike Tyson Indisputable Truth Book Signing Barnes & Noble
    Commented on this photo:

    He can still punch your head off.

  44. Cameron Diaz Crazy Eyes Annie Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “No…it is YOU who are the crazy one…ah, ha, ha, ha, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

  45. Amy Childs Cleavage Ideal Home Show At Christmas At Earls Court
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was Salma Hayek from the thumbnail. She looks good, though.

  46. Chelsea Handler Drunk Messy Hair In Face Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she drove in with Chris Noth.

  47. Chelsea Handler Drunk Messy Hair In Face Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah. Keep that face covered and that mouth closed.

  48. Mel Gibson Rembrandt Flores Stand Up For Gus Benefit Bootsy Bellows
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Therapy must be working. Mel can stand next to a black, French, gay, Jewish, Mexican, Chinese guy without exploding in a fit of rage.

  49. Stephen King Doctor Sleep Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I get the feeling King just got an idea for a really shitty book.

  50. Prince Charles Feeding Banana To Elephant Sri Lankan President Mahinda Rajapaksa
    fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Bananas. Camilla and Sara prefer bananas, old chum.

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