The Crap We Missed – Thursday 10.31.13

October 31st, 2013 // 396 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed, your daily trudge through the minefield of my brain that thinks creating picture galleries including Vikram Chatwal‘s discount Lindsay Lohan and Bethenny Frankel single-handedly destroying two small girls’ sense of self-esteem is a worthy use of time. Seriously, it’s a crazy place in there. HAHA, I just imagined Josh Hartnett got hired to play a cowboy on a British TV show about monsters. Can you imagine? *googles, room spins* I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S REAL ANYMORE!!

By the way, today’s Final Five and I have only two things in common. 1.) A first name. 2.) A legally binding restriction on the distance that must be kept between us, which is no problem because I’m pretty sure that thing is visible from space,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, Evil Jared Hasselhoff – from Bloodhound Gang.

  2. Corey Feldman Greasy Hair Coreyography Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess he couldn’t pay the hookers enough to go into a bookstore.

  3. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    pfff
    Commented on this photo:

    yep, he’s the dude from bloodhound gang

  4. Carmen Ortega Naked 138 Water Photoshoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, there’s going to be a lot of stupid motherfuckers out there wasting money on this glorified tap water, isn’t there?

  5. Nick Jonas Blue Steel Posing With Female Fan
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nick, this poll shows that you’re considered the gayest Jonas brother by a 2 to 1 ratio”

    “Sorry, I was looking at this dude taking my picture. I totally love his jeans. What were you saying about poles?”

  6. Bethenny Frankel Cleavage Halloween Costume Daugther Bryn
    Commented on this photo:

    “Stick with me, girls. Helping other anorexics not ingest calories made me a fortune, and I can help give you the same beneficial body dysmorphia and get rid of that overrated self-respect.”

  7. Corey Feldman Greasy Hair Coreyography Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! The paparazzi sure were LUCKY to be able to snap a picture of Corey without a huge crowd of people surrounding him to buy his book!

  8. Corey Feldman Greasy Hair Coreyography Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    “Would you make that out to Corey, please?”

    “Um, Corey, you’re supposed to sign the books to them.”

  9. Andie MacDowell Daugther Rainey Qualley Prix Montblanc
    Commented on this photo:

    Rainey must be German for Roxanne. She’s obviously the unrequited love of Cyrano de Bergerac to her right. Holy shit that’s a schnozz.

  10. Mike Tyson Eating Pinkberry
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s important to wrap your hand in a scarf when eating froyo. If you’re not careful it gets too cold and really makes your hand sting”

    – said the guy that bit off another human’s ear and threatened to eat someone’s children.

  11. Tatyana Ali Side Boob See Through Dress Home Again Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Epicum Films sounds like a niche porn company.

  12. Vikram Chatwal Lindsay Lohan Look A Like Diana Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    He likes to personally test all of the openings on his coke mules.

  13. Maria Menounos Butt Tight Dress Oceana Partners Awards Gala 2013
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like a second set of ribs hiding back there.

  14. Queen Elizabeth Visiting New 68 Bed YHA South Downs Hostel
    Commented on this photo:

    The Queen believed the only thing that could fix the sad lives and broken dreams of children living in a youth hostel was magenta.

  15. Kris Jenner Giving Money To Homeless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Marry the wookie, keep your mouth shut, and I’ll doubt it to $40 after the wedding, triple if you don’t pick up a coke habit.

  16. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    This stupid, crude and disgusting action was his review of the film.

  17. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    “Keep scratching hamster nuts, keep scratching!”"

  18. Chanel West Coast Sexy Devil Costume Hooray Henrys Halloween Party
    Commented on this photo:

    The sick celebrity action was hot and heavy at the Feldmansion ‘Halloween Hoe-Down’. For only $99.95 you can download the podcast where Corey personally describes the guest list including all of his A-List celebrity pals and gives you a play by play of all the hot and heavy action at the Feld-MANSION! Emphasis on mansion because Corey is an incredibly wealthy and employable A-List celebrity and an international star with a huge weiner!

    Video is not available. For an additional 49.95 each Corey will hand draw you a scene from the party in crayon. Buy 4 and the 5th one is free!

  19. Carmen Ortega Naked 138 Water Photoshoot
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d motorboat her ass but there’s no way I’d buy that water.

  20. Chanel West Coast Sexy Devil Costume Hooray Henrys Halloween Party
    Commented on this photo:

    Her less famous sister is named Dry dock Jersey shore.

  21. Danny Trejo Showing Knife Embroidery Inside Jacket Machete Kills Special Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Jos. A. Banks and the pants were free.

  22. Mike Tyson Eating Pinkberry
    Commented on this photo:

    Counting the change Kris Jenner just gave him.

  23. Corey Feldman Greasy Hair Coreyography Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    And I thought the other Corey looked bad.

  24. Naomi Watts Butt Tight Dress Diana Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    See look, I use duct tape.

  25. Queen Elizabeth Visiting New 68 Bed YHA South Downs Hostel
    ruckus
    Commented on this photo:

    Her Highness’ nipples are poking through a wool coat.

    Respect.

  26. Josh Hartnett Penny Dreadful Set
    Commented on this photo:

    I just watched 30 Days of Night and wondered if he was still alive these days….and here he is.

  27. Andie MacDowell Daugther Rainey Qualley Prix Montblanc
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks humble.

  28. Pierce Brosnan Crane Kick Jessica Alba How To Make Love Like An Englishman
    Commented on this photo:

    Pierce Brosnan shows Jessica Alba how he helps his companion out of his room after a night of lovemaking.

  29. Donatella Versace
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I see her photos, I find myself involuntarily struggling to breathe through my nose.

  30. Lady Gaga Cleavage Geisha Outfit
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Halloween must be the worst holiday for her. Nobody believes she is wearing a costume.

  31. Patrick Stewart Lobster Costume Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Just what I’ve always wanted: A bathtub full of Lobster Stew.

  32. Kris Jenner Giving Money To Homeless Man
    Commented on this photo:

    Before stopping by the hospital to pull the plug on terminal patients, Kris Jenner likes to shake down the homeless for protection money.

  33. Perry Farrell Bugeyed Janes Addiction Walk Of Fame Star Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesse Camp IS Easily Startled French Male Prostitute.

  34. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    The Bad Touch II: The Worst Touch of All.

  35. Naomi Watts Butt Tight Dress Diana Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a sculpy Amber Heard that someone pulled out of the kiln too quickly.

  36. Vikram Chatwal Lindsay Lohan Look A Like Diana Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    He thinks she’s a celebrity, she think’s he;s a cab driver.

  37. Patrick Stewart Lobster Costume Twitter
    gigi
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m thinking Q was somehow involved…..

  38. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    glam
    Commented on this photo:

    I was going to pass this by, but I’m kind of pissed this dude is wearing a Romones T shirt. fuck this douche.

  39. Carmen Ortega Naked 138 Water Photoshoot
    Commented on this photo:

    138 water bottled from women’s natural lubrication?

  40. Queen Elizabeth Visiting New 68 Bed YHA South Downs Hostel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Excuse me, can any of you peasants show me how to cook meth?”

  41. Evil Jared Hasselhoff Hand In Pants Machete Kills Special Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    …and then he went back to the kitchen to prepare everyone’s food.

  42. Corey Feldman Greasy Hair Coreyography Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    “Book signing? No… I am auditioning skanks. I don’t know how to read or write!”

  43. Patrick Stewart Lobster Costume Twitter
    Commented on this photo:

    Make it boil.

  44. Lady Gaga Cleavage Geisha Outfit
    Commented on this photo:

    What, she’s using Gandalf’s staff as her dildo?

  45. Pierce Brosnan Crane Kick Jessica Alba How To Make Love Like An Englishman
    Commented on this photo:

    Gut’s back.

  46. Erik Estrada Carson Daly CHIPS Costumes The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    Just a few more seconds and Erik’s’ trachea will be closed off.

  47. Lady Gaga Cleavage Geisha Outfit
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    At least her accessories are innovative. That’s the first pig dick umbrella I’ve ever seen.

  48. Josh Hartnett Penny Dreadful Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Director: “Lose the douche bag!”
    Josh: “…but I really need this job.”

  49. Pierce Brosnan Crane Kick Jessica Alba How To Make Love Like An Englishman
    Phoenix
    Commented on this photo:

    Similar to Sean Connery’s old “How To Make Love Like A Scottish Man” but with feet, instead of hands. No surprise. The English do love their football.

  50. Melanie Griffith Crooked Nose Oceana Partners Awards Gala 2013
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why Antonio Banderas spends most of his time in Spain.

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