Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed which is exciting today, because we get to introduce our new intern! (Pending his acceptance of our compensation package including: Unlimited access to Jon Hamm penis photos, daily emotional and/or sexual abuse by Fish, and Kardashian swag) Aside from the man whose name could double for HBO’s programming robot, we’ve also got Reese Witherspoon joining the growing list of Hollywood moms doing it better than Jessica Simpson, and Jim Sturgess who only brought condoms and Zima to this event to warn kids of the dangers of talking to strangers online.
What does the fact that this made me squeal with joy say about me?
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
christ, he’s totally committed to those fucking leg warmers. one assumes he’s also committed to never getting laid again.
He has fame, he has money. You think legwarmers are going to stop him getting his dick wet?
She is not attractive.
Why is she carrying that big bag? All the thoughts in her head are running over?
Damn it, that was supposed to be a separate comment.
What the hell is up with that street? We have this tool bag in flip flops, chick jeans and a blanket and then there’s a character in the back with black boots and extra large pink socks.
There should be a law against guys having long hair and wearing skinny jeans at the same time.
When you are relying on your heels to hold up your ass it means 1. You need to work out 2. Get a pair of jeans to fit that ass!
And some hefty-sized block-style heels.
I’m not sure if this is a man or a woman, but either way, this is NOT erotic.
skinny jeans?!! she is seriously mentally incompetent. and are those shoes made of titanium??
wears all black clothing, digs out an old, ugly pair of brown shoes. wtf, I know he’s not broke.
He looks like he smells.
She has that look like she hasn’t made a movie since 1982…oh wait.
“Yes…yes, I’ll take care of that HOA code violation right away. A Lannister always paints his fence.”
Bob Dylan’s fat grandkid doesn’t look like he gives a fuck.
Dude just turned 65, y’all.
Oh, well jeez…happy fucking birthday!
She shook hands with Madonna , and she aged 10 years immediately
10 years , her eternal soul , and all the cash she had on her
Madonna’s “Portrait of Dorian Gray ” plan. If you’re right , Madonna will look one year younger almost immediately
Hick with tits , or is it zits ?
Talks like she was conceived in the back of the Walmart Tire bay
Mommy gave it up for a couple of Zagnuts and a handful of tootsie rolls
At least we know where the Sith Lord is.
I nominate this guy as a national stress reliever. Whenever you feel pissed go and kick him in the balls.
Farkus.
This guy can’t even look like he was dressed by anyone but the short bus fashion corp. He tries to look like this desperately
Desperately Seeking Recognizability ?
Desperately Seeking Walking Trash Can?
Desperately Seeking Relevance ?
I’ll just leave this here.
Bet it smells like shit ! You would need a rag on a stick to get that thing clean !
Some guys like the smell of anus when they fuck , oh , wait ….
Imagine the crusty yet supple folds of smegma lying in wait in her crack ! Mmmmm , makes me want to toss her salad !
More folds than a little of shar pei pups!
More folds than a LITTER of shar pei pups!
Battin waaay out of his league !
The possibility exists that he has a big bat … nah
Yes, the jeans are tight. If her ass is being squeezed, can you imagine the suffocation her cookie is going through… good hygiene, I don’t think so.
Cookie? There is a baker’s dozen down there and the yeast, it keeps-a-rising!
Cool bike, bro.
Which Jonas brother is this again?
Fred Stoller
hahahahahahahahaa
Jumped the shark , but I would still spooge all over her once
She looks milfey , but I think she’s never been one . The carpet truly matches the drapes , and I would like to try to fuck the crazy out of her .
Hope she swallows , cause after all it’s natural and organic
Joe Jonas paid the iron price to look like this. And that’s…okay.
Still would do her doggy style a la “Monster’s Ball ” . I might fuck the crazy right out of her
Once she try’s white , she would lose all her spite !
Someone should tell him it’s not Halloween until next week
Am I the only one getting an optical illusion of a very small penis poking up thru the middle of her boobs??
And the shadowing of her boobs, makes it look like 2 balls.
NO. Just, no. You do not get to wear orange eye make up when you’re older than my mom. Just no.
I didn’t even know people wear this orange stuff.
Would drive hard like an old car
Grandpa ? Grandma is looking for you ! You forgot to come home from the grocery store with the fixins!
Nice Mom-Jeans, stupid.
“No Kim. Open Wider. Like this..”
Oh, honey. You did not lose all that weight to wear a fucking turtle-neck and cape on the red carpet. Slut it up a little, will ya? Let’s see what you got!!
nice pedo-stash.
I was gonna say porno-stash, but it’s kinda weak & a bit small….
GOD DAMN this guy is ugly. Keep him far away from Sarah Jessica Parker to avoid any accidental insemination.
Nose size contest
She is nuts!
Wow!
Please , Don’t uncross your legs ! No one is gonna rub one out looking at that dry gulch !
Tries so hard to not get noticed getting noticed . No wonder he needed to shoot up- he’s obviously got a head full of bad wiring !
Matt should really find a role model other than Damon Lindelof
That’s some crazy cleavage. In every sense of the word.
So…how are those Lifetime auditions going?
Who wants a sniff?
Darth Douchebaggus
Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Deep Fried Chicken
it’s a matter of weeks, maybe months before KW kicks this warthog to the curb…