The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.5.12

January 5th, 2012 // 370 Comments

And this is why Maxim is just about out of business.

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you by Doublemint’s new flavor, Wintwhoregreen. We’ve also got Jennifer Love Hewitt pointing out an ass that could hold just one, maybe two engagement rings at the most, HA! As well as the look on Alessandra Ambrosio‘s husband’s face that says “My New Year’s Eve was better than yours and, oh yeah, I almost forgot, your dick is small.”

Complain about dudes in the Final Five and this is what you get — I’M IN CONTROL HERE!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Voice range reaches Mickey Mouse level with increased trouser tension…

  2. Alessandra Ambrosio Jamie Mazur
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Model sandwich!!

  3. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t hate me because I’m booteeful!

  4. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    dudelookslikealady
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve seen bigger tits on Steven Tyler

  5. Tom Sizemore Sweaty Forehead
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, he’s still alive?!?

  6. Kathleen Turner
    squishy
    Commented on this photo:

    Way to relate to your fans…

  7. Bai Ling Cleavage Beneath The Darkness
    primitivefix06
    Commented on this photo:

    Oops, The Dark Crystal was wrong, there’s still one more Gelfling left.

  8. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    Neal
    Commented on this photo:

    Octomom?

  9. Kate Gosselin
    Poison Ivy League
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Sweet Dee’s sister.

  10. pretty vacant

    seems fitting that the typeface that spells out “lindsay lohan” is the typeface used for coke and it looks like she did a few lines off her name.

    • Carles

      Nice observation. That had to be intentional on Maxim’s part.

      • Jillia

        As a graphic designer myself, I can say with almost certainty that this was in fact, intentional.

        “What do I think of when I think of Lindsay Lohan… pure columbian coke… coke… and more coke…” Takes sip of tasty beverage… “mmm this coke is delicio-…” *idea!!!!

        That’s pretty much how it goes.

  11. Tom Sizemore Sweaty Forehead
    pretty vacant
    Commented on this photo:

    u know his eyeballs are just screaming to get out.

  12. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    Strutting like a queen

  13. That Bastard Tony

    Who is she blowing to keep getting the cover of Maxim LONG after her expiration date? I mean the images in this magazine (and Playboy for that matter) are so drastically different from the real thing that the images might as well be of a fictional character.

  14. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave the poor old hobo alone! He’s had a rough life.

  15. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    AnnaDraconida
    Commented on this photo:

    That is an extremely unfortunate-looking woman.

  16. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    boing
    Commented on this photo:

    he looks like a diseased wiener.

  17. Kate Gosselin
    boing
    Commented on this photo:

    everyone calls themselves sweet dee nowadays…

  18. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    i like lindsay's nips
    Commented on this photo:

    this website is slow as balls

  19. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    yen
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a dirty jesus.

  20. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    TheAdmiral
    Commented on this photo:

    This is one of the three photograph that makes up the entirety of the Mickey Rourke episode of CRIBS.

  21. Tom Sizemore Sweaty Forehead
    TheAdmiral
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me, or does he look like Clayface just got Tom Sizemore and Tom Hanks confused?

  22. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    KimK-Hater
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s right, hold you mouth open just like that and you too can become an expert cocksuckin’ BITCH!!

  23. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    TumTum
    Commented on this photo:

    I still think she looks mighty fine… ;)

  24. Does anyone else find it ironic that the caption next to her head is “Reboot Your Life” ??

  25. Kate Gosselin
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘If you don’t get your mediocre ass out of my way I will cut you!’

  26. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m an angry man, and I hate damn near everything – but for some reason I can’t explain, this picture makes me giggle.

  27. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    Commented on this photo:

    And not a single pud was pulled that day.

  28. Alessandra Ambrosio Jamie Mazur
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see… from left to right:

    Control freak, douchebag, pill popper, coke fiend.

    How close am I?

  29. Bai Ling Cleavage Beneath The Darkness
    sc4play
    Commented on this photo:

    Wish she was ‘In the Darkness’ so we wouldn’t have to look at her. Yeesh!!

  30. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Milk, milk, lemonade, this is where the fudge is made.

  31. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    Show me on this picture where he made you fat.

  32. Kathleen Turner
    Commented on this photo:

    Why yes, that is a penis in my pants….

  33. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess when they split everything 50/50 he got a pair of her jeans.

  34. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Gosselin, get back to work! These coupons aren’t going to blog themselves!”

  35. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    All this picture is missing is that Sarah McLaclan song from those SPCA ads. *sniff*

  36. Kathleen Turner
    Raoul
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t fret. We’re all surprised, too.

  37. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    What on that phone could possibly be making her show her sex face?

  38. Jim Broadbent The Iron Lady
    Commented on this photo:

    …a NAMBLA production.

  39. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    kitty
    Commented on this photo:

    Hipster doofus.

  40. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    She has a figure like a roll of pennies.

  41. Tom Sizemore Sweaty Forehead
    Commented on this photo:

    When you’re ordered by the court not to call Heidi Fleiss, I guess the best you can do sometimes is try to channel her instead.

  42. Kelsey Grammer
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like he spent the holidays at the set or something.

  43. Jim Broadbent The Iron Lady
    Commented on this photo:

    He loves him some iron lady, yes he does.

  44. Kelsey Grammer
    Commented on this photo:

    I figured out what to do with my tossed salad and scrambled eggs… put ‘em in a tube and mail it to Kelsey Grammar.

  45. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Venom
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s like concentration camp porn.

  46. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Great. Now I want to bang Vera de Milo.

  47. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Even her butt crack looks perturbed.

  48. Sharon Stone Tank Top
    Friday Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit, she looks better than Lindsay Lohan.

  49. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, I thought it was “Olive Oyl Palermo”.

  50. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, Photo Boy – I think the zoom function’s broken…

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