The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.5.12

January 5th, 2012 // 370 Comments

And this is why Maxim is just about out of business.

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed brought to you by Doublemint’s new flavor, Wintwhoregreen. We’ve also got Jennifer Love Hewitt pointing out an ass that could hold just one, maybe two engagement rings at the most, HA! As well as the look on Alessandra Ambrosio‘s husband’s face that says “My New Year’s Eve was better than yours and, oh yeah, I almost forgot, your dick is small.”

Complain about dudes in the Final Five and this is what you get — I’M IN CONTROL HERE!

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Be Lindsay’s sex hero: bring antibiotics and Valtrex. And rubbers. Lots of rubbers.

  2. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    So many black penises . . .

  3. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Wrong like the tits on a tranny

  4. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    butt juice
    Commented on this photo:

    This is why I love Photoshop. They’ve erased the years of alcohol, cigarette and meth abuse from her face. Bravah, she almost looks fuckable again.

  5. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I remember when mine was that big.”

  6. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Jen just figured out her demographic. Next think you know she’s going to be hanging around the Kardashians and trying to pick up their spares.

  7. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    Chris Reeve
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah he’s straight. No doubt.

  8. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s the Bearded Lady!

  9. Alessandra Ambrosio Jamie Mazur
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Honey, we should hang out with your friends more.

  10. Kathleen Turner
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this one of those Goldilocks planets people are talking about?

  11. Kate Gosselin
    Commented on this photo:

    “God, I feel so mediocre.”

  12. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    butt juice
    Commented on this photo:

    DERP

  13. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking Janice Dickenson is EVERYWHERE.

  14. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    castallare
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll give them this: Maxim is clearly hiring better Photoshoppers than Playboy.

  15. Kathleen Turner
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    No shit. What a disappointment.

  16. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    Krusty The Klown
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my God, it is! It IS double fudge chocolate brownie ice cream!!! Out of our way bitches!”

  17. Kathleen Turner
    Commented on this photo:

    “How big is Penny Marshall now? Well, game on!”

  18. Kelsey Grammer
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, that hat is waaaayyyy too small for your oversized noodle.

  19. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Krusty The Klown
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m tired of trying with guys. I wanna put my tongue riiiight there.”

  20. Jim Broadbent The Iron Lady
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Kids, the babysitter is here! Say hi to Mr. Creepy.

  21. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Her vagina ate the fuck out of that shirt.

  22. Bai Ling Cleavage Beneath The Darkness
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Good thing her name was up. I didn’t recognize her without a tit hanging out.

  23. Sharon Stone Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    So she finally puts on a bra, and it’s to go to the gay side of town in West Hollywood? I don’t understand show business.

  24. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    Krusty The Klown
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s crying, but the tears are coming out on the back of his head.

  25. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    The name says Lindsay Lohan. The font says coke.

  26. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Get out of my city, whores!

  27. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    Chin up Russell, you’ll be over that American bird in no time.

  28. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    yoyoblack
    Commented on this photo:

    no way in hell is this attractive

  29. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Uncle Rodney
    Commented on this photo:

    The “Fangoria” cover pretty much sums up this entire photo.

  30. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus…

  31. Victoria Silvstedt Bikini Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    “Five thousand dollars? What was I thinking? I used to command $30,000 for a fuck. When did you start losing it all, Victoria?”

  32. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This could very well be the most boobless Final Five in recent memory. And that’s including David Beckham.

  33. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    tom cruise
    Commented on this photo:

    the font says ‘free’ from dafont.com….

    cheap bastards…

  34. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    whatsmyface
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m a free bitch, baby.”

  35. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    pdan
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a Dick Tracy villain, but without the need for makeup.

  36. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    Frank The Duck
    Commented on this photo:

    +1 I bow to your superior recognition skills

  37. Alessandra Ambrosio Jamie Mazur
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    Even man’s dream right there.

  38. Kate Gosselin
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    That coat is mediocre.

  39. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    SSHGuru
    Commented on this photo:

    I can’t tell if this is the result of too much plastic surgery or not enough…

  40. Tom Sizemore Sweaty Forehead
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh shit, he’s seizing again.

  41. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    Nattypants
    Commented on this photo:

    Why must their mouths always be open like the blow-up dolls they really are?

  42. Kathleen Turner
    Commented on this photo:

    3 miles away, someone just dropped a waffle in an IHOP.

  43. Lindsay Lohan No Bra Underwear Maxim Cover
    Kissinger
    Commented on this photo:

    The cover shot is from a Maxims USA’s 2010 issue. This is Australia and sometimes they run what they want or pick from the archives of all the other foreign Maxims and make something out of it later.

  44. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Jesus, photo boy! You could’ve at least given us some tits! It’s like your punishing everybody!

  45. Khloe Kardashian Kim Kardashian Mouths Open
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    The best part was half-time when Khloe shot basketballs out of her pussy (how does she get that many in there?!?) and Kim’s ass was used as the Jumbotron. Good times!

  46. Olivia Palermo Bikini
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, a heel band-aid. How sexy.

  47. Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hi, Amy? You’ll never guess what I’m doing! I’m Difficult Browning a magazine cover with my finger! Serious! Hah-heee! So, anyway, d’you find some husband material for me, or what…?”

  48. Russell Brand Scarf Boots
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    A pompous, modern-day Fop who shops in the bins.

  49. Mickey Rourke Knit Hat Jean Jacket
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m all for the P.S.A.’s against doing drugs, but these “Faces Of Meth” posters are getting a little too graphic.

  50. Kate Gosselin
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Totally engrossed in Casey Anthony’s just-released video diary.

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