The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.23.14

January 23rd, 2014 // 308 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that will hopefully ease the angst you’re no doubt feeling over the fall from grace of His Maple Lord Thug In The Highest. *pours out Aunt Jemima’s, shakes head, kisses fingers, points to the sky* While we all contemplate the ripple effect his jailhouse bludgeoning death (fingers crossed) will have on us, let’s distract ourselves for a moment with Sean Penn literally laughing in the child’s face who’s mother he’s banging, January Jones enjoying the simple pleasures in life like sharing a swing with your bastard child and hating everything about his existence, and Wayne Newton at some sort of Head & Neck Surgery Awards thing which proves there are people in the world with a sicker sense of humor than me.

Ok, maybe not, but you can’t tell me not even one of you out there also imagined Jon Hamm‘s penis hang gliding past them just out of frame,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    You can tell she loves every moment of being a Mom. That poor kid is gonna grow up to be attached to cold hearted bitches.

  2. Brooke Shields No Makeup Red Cheeks Out in Cold
    Commented on this photo:

    Still would.

  3. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Why would Photo Boy take a picture of an emphysema patient and glue Wayne Newton’s head onto it?

  4. Danny Glover With Group Of Young White Women Sundance
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re just amazed to see a black guy in Utah.

  5. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Holding Stuffed Bear Kings College Hospital Official Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s from the Netherlands?

  6. Jenna Dewan Tatum Cleavage ELLE Women In Television Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s really sexy.

  7. Jennifer Hudson Bra Open Pants Suit Carnival Cruise Lines Event
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s keeping the weight off and looks great.

  8. Vanessa Hudgens Brendan Fraser Rosario Dawson Gimme Shelter Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Vanessa is such a sexy little minx.

  9. Shailene Woodley Acne No Makeup Short Hair Sundance
    Commented on this photo:

    She is…average.

  10. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t he die for a few minutes? Cocaine must be really good for you.

  11. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll take both of the women in this picture right now.

  12. Shailene Woodley Acne No Makeup Short Hair Sundance
    Father Dougal
    Commented on this photo:

    Ser Gregor, Dunsen, Raff the Sweetling, Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, Queen Cersei.

  13. Dakota Johnson Butt Tight Jeans Petting Dog Fifty Shades Of Grey Set
    Commented on this photo:

    When does she fuck the dog?

  14. John Mayer Derpface UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I like his music I’ve heard. I’ve only heard up to “Continuum”

  15. Shailene Woodley Acne No Makeup Short Hair Sundance
    Vegansux
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone needs a macha tee tree parrot cleanse

  16. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Just. Passing. Time.

  17. Brigitte Nielsen Fanny Pack Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see her off the park bench. Or park grass. Or whatever that was.
    Poor doggie.

  18. Jennifer Hudson Bra Open Pants Suit Carnival Cruise Lines Event
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Make a splash on American Idol, win an Oscar, and you too can look forward to a career singing on cruise ships.

  19. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Surfboard Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Anastasia ASSley.

  20. Robert De Niro Being Covered By Tablecloth By Restaurant Employees On Way To Car
    Commented on this photo:

    Do people really give a fuck about him that much that he has to do this? Considering he is doing every script thrown at him these days, have to say he is not exactly in high demand.

  21. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear rockstars, it is okay to get old, stop dressing like fucking 19 year olds and wearing awful wigs, embrace your age.

  22. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not unusual to have no eyes anymore.

  23. Shawna Craig Lorenzo Lamas Betrayal Premiere
    Inida Phacial
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Wayne Newton referred him to his plastic surgeon.

  24. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Holding Stuffed Bear Kings College Hospital Official Visit
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s about what I’d expect their offspring to look like.

  25. Brigitte Nielsen Fanny Pack Yoga Pants
    tlmck
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she’s been bumming HGH from Sly again.

  26. Shailene Woodley Acne No Makeup Short Hair Sundance
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw crap, Justin Bieber hired a decoy

  27. Robin Tunney Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She was also House’s first patient

  28. Malin Akerman ELLE Women In Television Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    Russell Brand saw this picture and fell in love

  29. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Wheee
    ………..
    ………..
    ………..
    Wheee
    ………..
    ………..
    ………..
    Wheee

  30. Chris Noth Yellow Teeth National Television Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘Mr. Cig’

  31. Robin Tunney Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Laredo
    Commented on this photo:

    Her face and her roles, who cares. It’s a camel toe!

  32. Ed Westwick Drunk Worn Leather Jacket Boots Chateau Marmont
    Icehawg
    Commented on this photo:

    “Ah gravity, my old foe. We meet again.”

  33. Shawna Craig Lorenzo Lamas Betrayal Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    AAAAAAAGH!!!
    *Crawls under desk*

  34. Prince Charles Camilla Dutchess of Cornwall Holding Stuffed Bear Kings College Hospital Official Visit
    Commented on this photo:

    “Go on, it’s full of hay just the way you like them”

  35. Brooke Shields No Makeup Red Cheeks Out in Cold
    Commented on this photo:

    You notice she’s only in the Crap We Missed when Sean Penn is? If Photoboy manages to get them in there with Van Halen, the world will probably end.

  36. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    These shoes are quite pointy… I’m sure that if we were to “accidentally fall’” off the swing… nobody would question two unfortunate puncture wounds….would they?

  37. Robin Tunney Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    IdDoThat
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m with Laredo… nice meat flaps!

  38. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Hm let’s see. You take your young son to a park so you can play on the swingset with him. Douchebags invade your private family moment and photograph you.

    Do you:

    A. Grin like an idiot?
    B. Pull a sour face because they won’t leave you in fucking peace for five fucking minutes?

    I wouldn’t like being hounded like this, either, especially not if I were with my kid. The kid I don’t have. Well, maybe someday.

  39. Robert De Niro Being Covered By Tablecloth By Restaurant Employees On Way To Car
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do people become film actors if they hate being photographed?

  40. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey average bitches!

    I’m Gwen Stefani and I’m pregnant.

    48 hours after giving birth, I’ll be back to my sylph-like weight and wearing a skin-tight bodysuit.

    Have a nice day!

  41. Robert De Niro Being Covered By Tablecloth By Restaurant Employees On Way To Car
    tito
    Commented on this photo:

    the guy who was ok with millions of people seeing him shit away his career in rocky and bullwinkle has a problem with people seeing him at a restaurant?

  42. Chris Noth Yellow Teeth National Television Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    “Wait’ll they get a load of me…. Hee-hee-hee-hee….!”

  43. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Surfboard Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Whoever spreads that oil on her legs pre-photo will probably have a boner for a week.

  44. Sean Penn Making Funny Faces At Charlize Therons Son Jackson
    buzz
    Commented on this photo:

    “Guess who has two thumbs and is banging your mom !?!?”

  45. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    All of a sudden my comments have to be moderated? What did I do?

  46. Danny Glover With Group Of Young White Women Sundance
    Vic Damoan
    Commented on this photo:

    “We loved the Cosby show!”

  47. Chris Noth Yellow Teeth National Television Awards
    Ginger Fail
    Commented on this photo:

    Are nose-hair clippers & teeth whiteners that expensive?

  48. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    Vic Damoan
    Commented on this photo:

    I think LIza looks fabulous!

  49. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    gin & tonic
    Commented on this photo:

    His face looks like a ballpark frank.

  50. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I think he has been having a stroke this whole time.

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