The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.23.14

January 23rd, 2014 // 308 Comments

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed that will hopefully ease the angst you’re no doubt feeling over the fall from grace of His Maple Lord Thug In The Highest. *pours out Aunt Jemima’s, shakes head, kisses fingers, points to the sky* While we all contemplate the ripple effect his jailhouse bludgeoning death (fingers crossed) will have on us, let’s distract ourselves for a moment with Sean Penn literally laughing in the child’s face who’s mother he’s banging, January Jones enjoying the simple pleasures in life like sharing a swing with your bastard child and hating everything about his existence, and Wayne Newton at some sort of Head & Neck Surgery Awards thing which proves there are people in the world with a sicker sense of humor than me.

Ok, maybe not, but you can’t tell me not even one of you out there also imagined Jon Hamm‘s penis hang gliding past them just out of frame,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. David Walliams Alesha Dixon Amanda Holden Simon Cowell Mouths Wide Open Britains Got Talent Audition
    Jenifer Lawrence's Butt Plug Collection
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like the skateboard-off-the-ski-jump-over-15-buses trick didn’t work.

  2. David Walliams Alesha Dixon Amanda Holden Simon Cowell Mouths Wide Open Britains Got Talent Audition
    Eejut
    Commented on this photo:

    Look out! It’s Matthew Broderick! And he has a car!

  3. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s definitely gonna write a book when he grows up…

  4. Sylvester Stallone Rubbing Face Metro Goldwyn Meyer Celebrates 90 Years Of Extraordinary Filmaking Event
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    He JUST realized he’s Sylvester Stallone…

  5. Jennifer Hudson Bra Open Pants Suit Carnival Cruise Lines Event
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s a great photo, until you start having flashbacks of the “Catwoman” movie.

  6. Brooke Shields No Makeup Red Cheeks Out in Cold
    meeps!
    Commented on this photo:

    Can we all assume SHE hired the photographer that took this…?

  7. Shailene Woodley Acne No Makeup Short Hair Sundance
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    When did she go from Mary Jane Watson to that chick Lindsay Lohan was banging for a while?

  8. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do aging rockstars love bandannas and soul patches?

  9. Chris Noth Yellow Teeth National Television Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr Big needs a big tube of toothpaste.

  10. Ed Westwick Drunk Worn Leather Jacket Boots Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    Who?

  11. Robin Tunney Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She was in The Craft with Fairuza Balk. That’s it though.

  12. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    Commented on this photo:

    Motley ManBoobs.

  13. Danny Glover With Group Of Young White Women Sundance
    yourmom
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m getting too old for this shit…”

  14. Sean Penn Making Funny Faces At Charlize Therons Son Jackson
    JungleRed
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not sure what’s worse. Naming your black kid Jackson, or subjecting him to Sean Penn.

  15. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    Commented on this photo:

    “The doctors told me I’d never live past 25.”
    “Uh, I’m not sure you did.”

  16. Phoebe Price Cleavage Bra Sticking Out From Under Shirt Tophat
    Commented on this photo:

    What has she done?

  17. Shawna Craig Lorenzo Lamas Betrayal Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t you mean, Blossom & Macguyver?

  18. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    Whee.

  19. Robert De Niro Being Covered By Tablecloth By Restaurant Employees On Way To Car
    Commented on this photo:

    As the restaurant opens up , the employees cover the oldest antique the have.

  20. Chris Noth Yellow Teeth National Television Awards
    JohnnyP
    Commented on this photo:

    Mr. Ed

  21. Malin Akerman ELLE Women In Television Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    WOULD!

  22. Sean Penn Making Funny Faces At Charlize Therons Son Jackson
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow filling a box with propaganda. That explains it all right there.

  23. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the saddest looking kid on a swing. Ever. In the history of kids.

  24. Ed Westwick Drunk Worn Leather Jacket Boots Chateau Marmont
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, check out my Joaquin Phoenix impression.”

    “Just get my car, please. Geez… every time with this guy.”

  25. John Mayer Derpface UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards in Beverly Hills,,,SUCCESS….Attached a asshole to a head and it’s still alive.

  26. Brooke Shields No Makeup Red Cheeks Out in Cold
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s her cardboard sign?

  27. David Walliams Alesha Dixon Amanda Holden Simon Cowell Mouths Wide Open Britains Got Talent Audition
    Commented on this photo:

    The judges react to special guest host John Hamm.

  28. Sean Penn Making Funny Faces At Charlize Therons Son Jackson
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The store announced someone was stealing and Sean just assumed it was a black person.

  29. Danny Glover With Group Of Young White Women Sundance
    Dox
    Commented on this photo:

    “Fuck Mel Gibson. I’ll show you three a lethal weapon.”

  30. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone sing. The feeling in my face…Danke Schoen darling, Danke Schoen. Thank you for all the botox and pain.

  31. Anastasia Ashley Butt Bikini Surfboard Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Any surfer worth their salt would never be on a stand-up paddleboard.

  32. Dakota Johnson Butt Tight Jeans Petting Dog Fifty Shades Of Grey Set
    Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    And without knowledge of the upcoming scene, Little Brewster reveled in the thought that he had finally followed in Great Uncle Benjy’s footsteps and “made it.” If only he had turned around 5 minutes sooner to see the stage hand inserting a milk-bone and peanut butter into Dakota’s anus…

  33. Sean Penn Making Funny Faces At Charlize Therons Son Jackson
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    The kid must be mesmerized, like a rabbit is when a snake looks it in the eyes before eating it.

  34. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s up with all the celebrities and their kids photos? It’s fun to make fun, but leave the kids out. Yeah, I’m a buzzkill.

  35. Robin Tunney Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Also in “The Mentalist” as one of the cops

  36. Sylvester Stallone Rubbing Face Metro Goldwyn Meyer Celebrates 90 Years Of Extraordinary Filmaking Event
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sly puts his face back into position for the rest of the premier.”

  37. January Jones Joyless Swing With Son Xander
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like she drugged the kid so he wouldn’t put up a fight when she “accidentally” dropped him at the peak of her swing.

    Bitch’s heart is as frozen as her name.

  38. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    Commented on this photo:

    Motley Cruel

  39. Ed Westwick Drunk Worn Leather Jacket Boots Chateau Marmont
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Wednesday is “Buy one, Get one Free 8 Ball Night” at the Chateau.

  40. Robin Tunney Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you really want the guy whose eye disappeared to represent you at a plastic surgery event?

  41. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you really want the guy whose eye disappeared to represent you at a plastic surgery event?

  42. Shawna Craig Lorenzo Lamas Betrayal Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey that guy used to be Lorenzo Lamas.

  43. Wayne Newton Bad Plastic Surgery Face Liver Spotted Hands UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    UCLA Head & Neck Surgery Luminary Awards. No irony. Nope.

  44. Danny Glover With Group Of Young White Women Sundance
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Where the white bitches at? No seriously, tell me because I can’t see anymore.

  45. Malin Akerman ELLE Women In Television Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s odd looking. in a generally good way though. i like em a little odd looking.

  46. Vanessa Hudgens Brendan Fraser Rosario Dawson Gimme Shelter Screening
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s thinking what every guy thinks in that situation: “I’ve seen your vaginas on the internet!”

  47. Sylvester Stallone Rubbing Face Metro Goldwyn Meyer Celebrates 90 Years Of Extraordinary Filmaking Event
    Commented on this photo:

    what a terrible time for staples to pop out.

  48. Vanessa Hudgens Brendan Fraser Rosario Dawson Gimme Shelter Screening
    cmonreally
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember George of the Jungle.

    This is so depressing.

  49. Nikki Six Fat Gut Man Boobs Bandana
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kickin’ ass, on the wild siii….achhh ACHHH UUUHhhh….is that blood?”

  50. Gwen Stefani Pregnant Belly
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    When her looks go, she’s going straight from MILF to Courtney Love, and you all know it.

Leave A Comment