The Crap We Missed – Thursday 1.12.12

January 12th, 2012 // 371 Comments

“Stay calm, Ryan. There’s a Purell bath and a foot long Coney just waiting in your trailer.”

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring Kim Kardashian double-fisting it in a pic that somehow doesn’t take place in an NFL locker room, Simon Cowell suddenly realizing that all that fabulous wealth and sex with models won’t ever change his hairy man-boobs and Claire Forlani getting felt up by her husband on vacation because he paid for the swim-up suite.

Today’s Final Five is a pic short, but I made up for by tossing a shot of my unsung hero of the People’s Choice Awards in at the end,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jenelle Evans Mugshot Teen Mom
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the fuck is she?

  2. Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Twitter
    Govt. Cheese
    Commented on this photo:

    GYAH!!!

  3. Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Twitter
    Govt. Cheese
    Commented on this photo:

    Um yerrrrhhh, what the F are you wearing homeboy?

  4. Kelly Brook Butt Tight Jeans
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    We have only the blogger’s word that this is Kelly Brook.
    Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.
    Hair color looks wrong IMO.

  5. Jenelle Evans Mugshot Teen Mom
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Goddamn. This is ugly.

  6. Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Twitter
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    if bitch threw her bottoms at me, fuck I’d probably put them on too.

  7. Amanda Harrington Cleavage Desperate Scousewives
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    “scousewives”
    LOL
    Housewives with scurvy?

  8. Jamie Foxx Knit Hat Scruffy Beard
    Richard McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    take it, take the money, just quit pointing that gun at me.

  9. Paula Patton Cleavage Tight Leather Dress
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    I hate it when bitches smoosh their boobs like that. Ugh! Gross!

  10. Simon Cowell Shirtless Zeta Graff Bikini
    sheldon
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh my God, she queefed.

  11. Faith Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    Why won’t my hair do this when I put it in hot rollers? :(

    • mk ultra

      mundanes don’t have access to the same hot rollers as the 1%

    • hH

      because your hair is real and her hair is fake.

    • Bianca

      You need to use a curling iron (most stylists use two different sizes) and change the direction of the wave (curl in, curl out) throughout your hair. You also have to make sure your hair isn’t too clean and slippery. Ohh why can’t we be rich and have live-in hairdressers? :)

  12. Shauna Sand
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    How does Classy-Shoe-Mart carry enough inventory for this fashionista?

  13. Kim Kardashian Two Cell Phones
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, Mom, I don’t need to press record, I said there’s a guy here giving ME a blow OUT”

  14. Shauna Sand
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a way to be 41 and dress to show off your excellent body without coming off desperate to reclaim your lost youth and just all-around sad? I’m just wondering.

  15. Dane Cook
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    No and no.

  16. Amanda Harrington Cleavage Desperate Scousewives
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Way to tan that elbow, sloppy bitch.

  17. Jennifer Garner Pregnant Belly
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember the time you were nine months pregnant at the liquor store?

  18. Jenelle Evans Mugshot Teen Mom
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Stories like this is why stoning is still legal in some countries,

  19. Jennifer Garner Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Aw. She’s so adorable.

    Also: Wine?

  20. Dougray Scott Fondles Claire Forlani
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    The Ryan Seacrest method of touching a breast while keeping down vomit.

  21. Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Twitter
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d say the chick on the right has the biggest package.

  22. Alessandra Ambrosio Bikini Twitter
    PtC
    Commented on this photo:

    Pregnant belly buttons freak me out. I hate pregnant belly buttons.

  23. Ryan Seacrest Hugging Dolly Parton
    Commented on this photo:

    Can’t you just smell that intoxicating aroma of Ben-Gay and K-Y Jelly?

  24. Bar Refaeli No Makeup
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    So, wait, I’m confused. I thought she was supposed to be pretty. This is opposite.

  25. Dougray Scott Fondles Claire Forlani
    Commented on this photo:

    “according to the pop up timers, those are done now.”

  26. Miss Texas Kendall Morris Bikini
    Star Droppings
    Commented on this photo:

    “Whoops, such as! I forgot to take off my bikini in the spray tan booth!”

  27. Jamie Foxx Knit Hat Scruffy Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    so………….we’re talking prayer mat now?

  28. Ryan Seacrest Hugging Dolly Parton
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s awesome to see Dolly without her wig and make-up on for once,
    but man, Seacrest makes a bad drag queen!

  29. Bar Refaeli No Makeup
    Peter Griffin
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooof fa!

  30. Paula Patton Cleavage Tight Leather Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally! A dress that makes you look busty and flat-chested at the same time.

  31. Brooke Shields
    Commented on this photo:

    Nobody believed her when she cried about about the gremlins on the wing.

  32. Dougray Scott Fondles Claire Forlani
    Commented on this photo:

    In today’s nobody news, one nobody feels up another nobody. But first, the People of Walmart!

  33. Bradley Cooper Moustache
    Joe
    Commented on this photo:

    The look of someone with a perfectly-sized buttplug.

  34. Jamie Foxx Knit Hat Scruffy Beard
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! Hipsters come in brown too? Who knew…

  35. Simon Cowell Shirtless Zeta Graff Bikini
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh God! I completely forgot to be a decent human being.”

  36. Jenelle Evans Mugshot Teen Mom
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Jenelle-Get the munchies a lot?

  37. Dane Cook
    Commented on this photo:

    Those thought balloons coming out of his head are appropriately empty.

  38. Kim Kardashian Two Cell Phones
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  39. Ryan Seacrest Hugging Dolly Parton
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s the first time Dolly ever sat on a mans lap and didn’t feel a penis.

  40. Jenelle Evans Mugshot Teen Mom
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    Stupid girl thinks a mug shot is a good career move.

  41. Brooke Shields
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    See Katie? Post-partum nti-depressants really do work!
    Even when they’re veerrryyy post-post-post-partum!

  42. Simon Cowell Shirtless Zeta Graff Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    it takes a real douche to lounge on his boat while it’s still docked.

  43. Ryan Seacrest Hugging Dolly Parton
    Commented on this photo:

    Well I guess we can count 2 people in this shot that enjoy having plastic things shoved into them….

  44. Dougray Scott Fondles Claire Forlani
    Bonky
    Commented on this photo:

    This is not news. That is the official handshake of Mauritius.

  45. Jennifer Garner Pregnant Belly
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’ll never be one of those Tinkerbelle tiny pregnant ladies….Jen gets BIG.

  46. Carrie Keagan Cleavage People's Choice Awards
    It's the kimkim, bitches
    Commented on this photo:

    Who the hell is-whoa! That’s some nasty cleavage!

  47. Kim Kardashian Two Cell Phones
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Attention Deficit Disorder. There are two apps for that.

  48. Ryan Seacrest Hugging Dolly Parton
    MILF
    Commented on this photo:

    She may not be Judy Garland, but for Seacrest, she’ll do.

  49. Bar Refaeli No Makeup
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy shit, that face could sour milk.

  50. Kim Kardashian Two Cell Phones
    Commented on this photo:

    “So, left hand, I’m like, totally getting my hair done.”

    “OMG right hand!!! Text me when you’re done :)”

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