The Crap We Missed – Thanksgiving Eve

November 23rd, 2011 // 363 Comments

“Now there’s a tender holiday moment.” – Jerry Sandusky

Welcome to a Thanksgiving Eve edition of The Crap We Missed where I’m not going to lie to you, we seriously scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard to eek out this post out, goddamn Donkey Kong tried to throw us at Mario. (Also, scraped from the bottom today? Jokes!) Not to mention there are two Justin Bieber pics in today’s gallery because you really can’t expect us to make such hard decisions right before a major holiday. Why would you do that? Do you hate joy? Laughter? Rationalizing debilitating drinking problems? Get outta my country!

Pass the moose knuckle,

- The Superficial

Click Here To Start The Gallery

superficial

  1. Mickey Rourke Duck Lips Leather Jacket Gym Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m hope when I’m that age I’ll realize I’m that age.

  2. Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    13….the number of times John Mayer prematurely ejaculated with her.

  3. Ben Affleck Spitting Loogie
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Not seen…the agent who persuaded him to star in Gigli.

  4. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    Jeffie B
    Commented on this photo:

    It looks like Kevin from The Office has put on a few pounds…

  5. Tara Reid Mystery Man
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Does mystery man mean it’s mystery that he’s with her?

  6. Justin Bieber Usher The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    “don we now our gay apparel…Fa la la, la la la, la la la”

  7. Jeremy Renner
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, Regis already pioneered that look…and he’s retired.

  8. Pierce Brosnan Shirtless Gut Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    In all fairness, when he stands next to his wife he looks like Ryan Reynolds.

  9. Dominic West Beard
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Look out, he’s about to do a Ben Affleck.

  10. AnnaLynne McCord Nipples
    Commented on this photo:

    For some reason, she had to pick up items the crew dropped over 700 times today.

    • Something tells me that everyone on set’s seen ‘em, and got tired of ‘em long ago.

      “AnnaLynne’s tits are practically hanging out.”
      “Yawn. Let me know when it’s Jessica Lowndes.”

      (I had to look up who else is in the damn show, and even then I had to go through a couple of names.)

  11. Mickey Rourke Duck Lips Leather Jacket Gym Shorts
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Puffy and white and bursting out of his jacket. If he was a potato he’d be gorgeous.

  12. Tara Reid Mystery Man
    Commented on this photo:

    The caption says she’s “with him”, but his eyes say “somebody help me”

  13. Jeremy Renner
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who he is, but that is the face of a man who just farted in an elevator.

  14. Dominic West Beard
    Commented on this photo:

    “receiving an honorary patronage of the Philosophical Society at Trinity College in Dublin”…why do I get the feeling this involves a drinking contest?

  15. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    TLC’s new program Mounted Up: Royal Canadian Mounties is going to be aired Spring of 2012….The show will replace the current long running production, Steven Segal: Journey to the Bottom

  16. Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s a lot of sagging for someone her age.

  17. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Steven Seagal in: “Hard to Feed!”

  18. Tara Reid Mystery Man
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    All he said was ” I know where the party is” and Boom!! She is arm and arm with him.

  19. Mickey Rourke Duck Lips Leather Jacket Gym Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    popping the collar really rescued that whole outfit. I’m pretty sure his grandmother is going to be pissed about losing those sunglasses though.

  20. The Situation Popsicle
    Commented on this photo:

    …if there’s any justice, he’s just been given chicken pox.

  21. Al Pacino Scarf Dirty Clothes Son Anton
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, Mr Sims, there’s only two syllables in this whole wide world worth hearing: pussy. Hah! Are you listenin’ to me, son? I’m givin’ ya pearls here”

  22. Eva Ward Lingerie
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Go back to England, you Jezebel!

  23. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    Jill Ess
    Commented on this photo:

    The star of “Happy Feet 2″

  24. Al Pacino Scarf Dirty Clothes Son Anton
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “He said ‘Half Windsor’. I just heard him say it. He didn’t learn that kind of language from me.”

  25. Eva Ward Lingerie
    Commented on this photo:

    that has to be one of the most unfortunate boobjobs I’ve ever seen. All they’re missing is a “Certified 100% natural by Dr Drew” stamp.

  26. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Look! It’s big fat Paulie!

  27. Mickey Rourke Duck Lips Leather Jacket Gym Shorts
    dontlooknow
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I see this guy, he looks like he just got messed up again.

  28. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hello Macy’s? Listen, I’m sorry, I’m stuck in Vancouver.”

  29. Dominic West Beard
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s the difference between an actor and a philosopher?
    With an actor the pizza’s usually on time, a philosopher could take all night.

  30. Pierce Brosnan Shirtless Gut Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    M’s sending him to a health spa—and wouldn’t you know it? Bond stumbles onto a SPECTRE plot to steal two atomic bombs.

  31. Tara Reid Mystery Man
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, no media yet. Let’s wait till we, uh, ‘get you your green card.’ “

  32. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    Alec Baldwin should print this photo out, tape it to his refrigerator, and write on it, “What I will look like if I pig out again.”

  33. The Situation Popsicle
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s always good to see a janitor take advantage of the Service Employees’ hard-fought but relatively obscure right to a 15-minute popsicle break.

  34. Tara Reid Mystery Man
    lil bit
    Commented on this photo:

    jellus hatrz.
    thats Tara’s new boyfriend.
    actor Michael Fastbenders.
    hes a big movie star.

    • PtC

      I’m not really sure if this is a serious post or a joke, so just in case it’s serious…

      1. Michael Fassbender (who has blue eyes). So…
      2. That’s not him.

  35. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    the the
    Commented on this photo:

    still RUNS. LIKE. A. GIRL.

  36. Mickey Rourke Duck Lips Leather Jacket Gym Shorts
    wut
    Commented on this photo:

    no one does it like a marlboro man.

  37. Justin Bieber Usher The Today Show
    JohnB
    Commented on this photo:

    maybe he might make enough money to buy a belt. Or are his pants dragging to facilitate rear entry.

  38. Pierce Brosnan Shirtless Gut Bathing Suit
    CharmlessMan
    Commented on this photo:

    Bacon, not sti… I mean SHAKEN, not stirred.

  39. Ben Affleck Spitting Loogie
    JPC
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s your Pulitzer shot!

  40. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    jd
    Commented on this photo:

    No, seriously, the hair color is VERY natural, nobody knows.

  41. Pierce Brosnan Shirtless Gut Bathing Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    The Man With The Golden Gut

  42. Taylor Swift
    Commented on this photo:

    One of the few chicks in show biz that doesn’t smell like booze, cigarettes and tattoo ink.

  43. Dominic West Beard
    CharmlessMan
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, did John Rhys-Davies lose weight?

  44. Steven Seagal Puffy Jacket
    Commented on this photo:

    “No,Bronson, you can’t have my pants.”

  45. Taylor Swift
    CharmlessMan
    Commented on this photo:

    Hula Skirt Fail

  46. Mickey Rourke Duck Lips Leather Jacket Gym Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    The Invisible Man dons his Mickey Rourke facemask and dark glasses and goes our for cigarettes.

  47. The Situation Popsicle
    Commented on this photo:

    Brain freeze would be redundant.

  48. Al Pacino Scarf Dirty Clothes Son Anton
    Commented on this photo:

    Anton? Really? Why not just name him Kick My Ass?

  49. Justin Bieber The Today Show
    Commented on this photo:

    All shaved! Usher will have you now.

  50. AnnaLynne McCord Nipples
    Satan's bitch
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t see the attraction. She’s a skank.

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