Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where unintentional comedy mingles with the random vulval pageantry that lacks the gravitas for Fish’s penis jokesmithing. That said, we’ve got the Savages press tour offering up another amazing gem, the Mila Kunis crush getting officially put to bed, Mickey Rourke being the reason those fuckers charge you $9 for insurance when you rent a tux, Bill Clinton getting too old for this shit, ditto for Barbra Streisand (See what I did there?), and finally, that bodyguard already has Heidi Klum fetching his coffee.
I know your pain well, Heidi *wipes tear,*
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“I understand that you little guys start out with your woobies and you think they’re great… and they are, they are terrific. But pretty soon, a woobie isn’t enough. You’re out on the street trying to score an electric blanket, or maybe a quilt. And the next thing you know, you’re strung out on bedspreads Ken. That’s serious.”
Fucking yes!
Me too! HELL yes! :)
“OMG! I was NOT staring at John Hamm’s penis!”
“OMG! I was NOT staring at Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s penis!”
Fixed.
Fuck’s the deal with those stupid boots? Last pic I saw of him he was wearing the same shit. Is this some meta-ironic anti-hipster statement?
now that is something i could get behind
Forget high voltage whips. He should have used that vest against Iron Man.
For her he shaves.
I thought from the thumbnail this would be something good.
the moment when they both realize he can afford her & 2 more just like her.
She IS a woman of many (two) talents!
Dude on left needs rehab.
It’s the haircut he has to wear for his character (which he won the Emmy for “Best Guest Actor”). The character is a backwoods, hillbilly redneck.
What’s Judd’s excuse?
well he nailed it.
There is no excuse for wearing brown shoes with a black suit.
They’re scuffed up motorcycle boots. Not only that, didn’t his character get blown away last season? I’m thinking he must look that way on the natch.
She’s still thinner than Jessica Simpson.
He looks like a John Cleese character.
Nice guns.
He still thinks harass is 2 words. He thinks it is spelled her ass.
The smug look on his face says, “Mine are bigger.”
You’re in Canada, man. I know our dollar is high right now, but throw a roll of loonies in there, not dimes.
Guess which one loves the cock.
Madonna’s doppelgänger.
She can’t sing worth shit, she’s autotuned to the extreme on
her recordings, she lip-synchs in concert, she has nothing
intelligent or wise or witty to say, she has fucking horrible taste in
men, BUT…. she’s got great tits.
I guess that’s what sells records these days…
You don’t make fun of Jesse, you twats.
The government should try to kill these ugly rumers.
Behind her you can see her husband sitting next to the big, blue dumpster they now live in now that nobody wants to masturbate to her photos anymore.
“fuck all a y’all, boring fuckers”
Looks like someone’s about to shoot another Wolverine movie.
Been shooting for a while.
Well there you go. I had no idea.
If they ever need a wicked witch for the remake of Oz. She gives me the creeps every time I see her.
it’s probably her red eyeballs
The FUCK is this?
Open wider, Aaron.
Open wider.
YES! There WILL be a sequel to the Three Stooges movie!
An early, failed commercial for “The Hair Club for Men.”
You beat me by 30 seconds on that, maggiore!
Yep, that’s one scary collection of follicles, dude!
The before picture
Ruined.
Jim Carrey? Then that’s QUITE the make up job,
THAT scar never goes away, Heidi…hope it was worth it.
“Oh dear, I’m so embarrassed! I forgot to do anything odd to my shoulders!”
same comment as the one I had for Cowell.
which was . . .?
That was like, two weeks ago.
Funniest guy ever, once you muscle your ear past the thickest Scottish brogue in the solar system. Problem is, you can never hear a Scott talk again without exploding in laughter.
nnyeeehhhhhh……I just filled my diaper.
From B-Lister to Footnote in 2 years.
That’s what happens when you have no talent, your only asset is your looks, and you turn around and bite the hand that feeds you.
Give it another year, and it’ll be “Megan who?”
Yeah. I hope she fucking gets her throat cut out. I’m totally sick of her. She’s a cunt who’s just bad for this world.
Yeah, didnt see talk shit about michael bay or something?
She has her Mom’s nothing.
When your tights are fitting loose on you, it’s probably time to order some Chinese or sumthin’.
This time he’s a Neanderthal who can’t calm the fuck down for a minute.
Isn’t that pretty much every other Jim Carrey movie?
Her and Penny Marshall are totally interchangeable.
Have you seen Penny Marshall lately? You have to add 100 pounds to Streisand for any resemblance to show up.
“Why, yes, as a matter of fact. I HAVE been to all 64 of them!”
Nice juice box. Goes nicely with your toddler junk.
I appreciate her efforts to put her tits next to her muff so I can ogle both with minimal eye movement. Kudos, Katie Perry. Kudos.
Carmen is a smart girl. Keeps her purse strategically located. Nobody wants to catch douchebag cooties.
what, is she auditioning for a vampire flick? cuz she’s got the pale/dead thing down. and yeah^ eat a fuckin sandwich already.
She got herself turned into a vampire when that was all the rage. Unfortunately, the trend faded and there’s no cure.
I’d say the standard “invisible penis”, but I’m sure there’s an incoming one just out of frame.
didn’t he tell her she would never make it in movies when they were on the 70s show? Now she’s a success its all on
I think he said that to January Jones. Eh, maybe he said it to Mila, too. What do I know.
It was January Jones he told that to. I hate myself for knowing that.
“That’s right. I’m so wealthy I can afford a silver tooth!”
I was listening to Beyonce’s Naughty Girl as I saw this pic and fell of the chair laughing.