Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where unintentional comedy mingles with the random vulval pageantry that lacks the gravitas for Fish’s penis jokesmithing. That said, we’ve got the Savages press tour offering up another amazing gem, the Mila Kunis crush getting officially put to bed, Mickey Rourke being the reason those fuckers charge you $9 for insurance when you rent a tux, Bill Clinton getting too old for this shit, ditto for Barbra Streisand (See what I did there?), and finally, that bodyguard already has Heidi Klum fetching his coffee.
I know your pain well, Heidi *wipes tear,*
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I can’t actually tell you much about this movie, but I do have a variety of hippie diatribes for you to choose from, if you like.
A giant puffy tutu. That should extinguish rumors of a penis.
Yeee!
Deal with Satan still holding, I see.
Kim Kardashian shout out? Bill has hit a new low….
Bums In Suits™ – ‘We make you look good’
Thought this was Tom Cruise from the thumbnail. Turns out, I’m not that far off.
He’s actually ” not pictured”.
Actually, very far off. This guy is brave enough to be who he is and not care what people think. Tom is the complete opposite.
Tom doesn’t seem to be afraid to be who he is, either–an obviously closeted homosexual.
One of these people is homeless. Try to guess who it is.
Him’s a fatty boomba. Booyakaska!
Hey Mickster, the other Mick just called from the ’90s. Yeah, Hucknall. Says he wants his hair back please.
Drugs are bad m’kay?
I knew she’d eventually do something shocking and revolutionary with her pubic hair, but she really should trim it just the same.
Goat-Tee level: master
Guys, I think the vest is just a prop. We all know Carrot Top loves his props.
I don’t care what anyone says, he’s awesome.
Lose the ball cap, fuckface.
three visible dicks
The guy has earned it; he’s entitled to it all. The glasses, the tooth, even the weird little lady hand, I don’t care.
this. a hundred times.
Um, sorry but the “weird little lady hand” belongs to the little old lady standing right next to him, Almost a great observation, though.
I couldn’t choose one, so here.
Er, here.
Suddenly Oliver Stone regretted not taking that summer job at his uncle’s drug store.
From model to blow-up doll…
Looks like they found a new cast for the Three Stooges remake. That’s a perfect Larry, Moe and Curly.
I don’t go ape about her anymore.
I hope you aren’t casting aspersions on her subtle, nuanced performance in Planet of the Apes.
I was SO into her when I was 8 years old, she looks the exact same-ish.
Happy ninth birthday, Anthony!
Animal wins!
“There’ll be some hot snatch,” they said. “Plenty of poon for you, Mr. Clinton!” they said..
“Everybody keep your hands where I can see them!!”
Orlando Bloom can look like shit and still go home and bank Miranda Kerr…
I blame the proliferation of anti-bullying policies in our nation’s public schools.
That’s a look that says, “I’ve filled my diaper, and there’s nowhere to change.”
I never used to believe those rumors about pedophile rings in Hollywood.
What are you talking about?! I have breasts!
she looks like a fat dude since she got together with doucheface Kutcher.
Please explain to me the significance/meaning of what appears to be a tattoo of a grilled cheese sandwich with pickles (on the inside of her right arm). I googled it but couldn’t find anything. That one has me puzzled. But hey, she smokes. So it’s all good…
It’s a crappy tattoo of the back of a naked woman.
http://celebritywonder.ugo.com/picture/Rumer_Willis/130595804.jpg
It’s the Marilyn Monroe tattoo Megan Fox had removed…Rumor apparently found it in the trash and stuck it on her arm.
And a new Photoshopped meme was born.
Please wear this when you come to bed…. makes my eyes dart around all over the place.
whoopsie?
At least all the recognized climatologists were there.
“Anybody want the last Vienna Sausage?”
that’s a pity.
The split-second Surpreiz Butsecks facial expression immediately preceding the broadest most luminous smile.
OUCH! (I think.)
Weekend at Ollies.
I don’t know who she is, and don’t even care.
Get out, quack quack, get out, quack quack, get out of town
Had to Google, and now I have to thank you Fish.
Her.
I googled her.
John Hamm didn’t win an Emmy last night, but I guess there are worse things that could happen.
My mother always told that if I don’t have anything catty to say, then don’t say anything at all.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, comment on The Superficial.*
Oh, I skimmed and misread. Whatever, I’ve been looking for an excuse to say that and this is close enough.
Tainted goods now that the Mayer has wrecked it.
He should keep his shirt on around his daughter. If that’s what she thinks all men look like, she’s gonna grow up real disappointed.
This. a million times this.
The face of hunger in America.
Quite possibly the most self-righteous, out of touch, full of crap boor on the planet (and that’s saying a hell of a lot considering he’s competing against the likes of Kanye, Howard Stern, P Diddy, Rosie O’Donnell, et co.). What a fuckin’ tool!
Doesn’t seem like much of a competition… And I don’t like anyone mentioned except for maybe Howard…
I’m sure it fits in his ass nicely.