Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where unintentional comedy mingles with the random vulval pageantry that lacks the gravitas for Fish’s penis jokesmithing. That said, we’ve got the Savages press tour offering up another amazing gem, the Mila Kunis crush getting officially put to bed, Mickey Rourke being the reason those fuckers charge you $9 for insurance when you rent a tux, Bill Clinton getting too old for this shit, ditto for Barbra Streisand (See what I did there?), and finally, that bodyguard already has Heidi Klum fetching his coffee.
I know your pain well, Heidi *wipes tear,*
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Nice G.I. Joe (circa (1972) pube head Travolta…..
Listening to ska always turns him more Jewey.
“Has anyone seen my hot dog? *looks at crotch* How the hell?”
IT’S COLD YOU GUYS!!! (sobs in the corner)
Kind of looks like Kelly Clarkson…. except for in the boobs.
How do you fix a bite mark in your laptop screen?
Worst two things to fly into New York City ever.
Second worst…don’t forget 9-11. But I get your point.
Just for clarification, if someone were to put a bullet thru Kutcher’s skull (assuming it actually hit something on the way thru) would Mila be considered a widow?
If you got the point, you wouldn’t have “clarified”. Sheesh.
Let me explain…take your right hand off your mouse and pull your left hand out of your ass. Now you can count, and I’ll bet you’ll notice there are two separate thoughts in one post! Amazing, ain’t it?
Not one for subtlety, are you?
“No Zach, I said give me *a hand*.”
World’s sexiest marionette.
Well, third sexiest…
See that blonde chick with the smile on her face? I just hit that!
So why is she smiling?
Try to guess which one was adopted.
is it the tall dude with the beard?
We have a winner!
It’s a boob-down!!!
just not the same as john ham
God she’s fat
I think he just summed up my feelings about this whole election.
Tragic.
Why yes, this IS my happy face!
I’m pretty sure that’s Harry Hamlin.
I see London I see France…
I see her brecken ridge.
I’d much rather see Brecken Ridge than Brokeback Mountain.
I see london, I see france…I see someones birth canal
I would literally cut a hole in that and just throw her over a couch.
…which is were I’d come in and say ·”Aw, thanks man” before I fucked her stoopid.
CUT a hole…??? Hell, I’d just poke a hole with my dick!
Please Nicole. Stop getting plastic surgery.
Unfortunately, Estella Warren uses the same anti-aging products as Lindsey Lohan.
Down to the same adamantium tit magic, I see.
Damn, that’s just a shame.
That’s too bad.
Zooming does nothing
She wasn’t nominated this year, but she’s keeping her chin up.
I didn’t know Beth Ditto was back on tour.
That’s a really weird shape
“Hello?!?!!? I need a #11 at my gym! STAT!”
Now we know what Bill Clinton was looking at.
That dress was red before her icicle blood turned it blue.
That’s not Ava.
She knows
oh HELL YAY!
Kill them. Now.
Holy fucking Jesus. She was so hot on “Dead Like Me,” and that was less than 10 years ago.
And now she’s looking like the living dead.
That is not….
Worst. Prom photo. Ever.
I can’t up-vote you for some reason, so have some applause instead:
*APPLAUSE*
Arthur Fonzarelli: The Retirement Years
Dude…..I am loving this outfit.
Sure, why not — you have your bits of beachwear, workout gear, evening wear, and a couple of bondage supplies for the sexytimes. It’s all-purpose. Ladies need never wear anything else ever again.
After this, we board the spaceship and set forth to the stars!!
lol nice tit contest
She’s wearing underwear? What a shame.
Tall filter, half and half on the side
Seriously, you are like, old. Too old for those boots. Knock it off.
The kid is almost born. She better start coming up with a good explanation for that whole Ferrari car wash / flush career down toilet deal.
hes hiding his claws
looks like a watery ass
Oh yeah….where’s those fat fucking Italian designers on the yachts?
Let’s see you pull this, then I’ll give you some props!
I’m confused.