The Crap We Missed – Monday 9.24.12

September 24th, 2012 // 792 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where unintentional comedy mingles with the random vulval pageantry that lacks the gravitas for Fish’s penis jokesmithing. That said, we’ve got the Savages press tour offering up another amazing gem, the Mila Kunis crush getting officially put to bed, Mickey Rourke being the reason those fuckers charge you $9 for insurance when you rent a tux, Bill Clinton getting too old for this shit, ditto for Barbra Streisand (See what I did there?), and finally, that bodyguard already has Heidi Klum fetching his coffee.

I know your pain well, Heidi *wipes tear,*

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Lady Gaga Cleavage See Through Shirt
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    Something is off about this photo…

    :: Throws her in the trunk. ::

    All better.

  2. Nicole Eggert Belly Tank Top Legs Daisy Dukes
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t she just have a baby?

    Remember when parents used to take breathers because a baby was a big responsibility?

  3. Jeremy Davies Leslie Mann Judd Apatow Emmys
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    ” And look, here comes some of the nominees for Weirdest Participants in a Threesome…”

  4. Simon Cowell Carmen Electra Dating
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    I realize that this will go against all the values and principles taught to me by The Superficial but… I like Simon.

  5. Aaron Paul Emmys
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    If Kim Kardashian ever won an Emmy, this is the first thing she would do with it too.

    On a similar topic, I believe her wedding special won best Set Design.

  6. Jonah Hill Headphones
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, bud? I’ve gotto go. I’ve got my big towel and a liter of water and the ice cream truck just pulled up”

  7. Benico Del Toro John Travolta Oliver Stone San Sebastian Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Two drunks and a twink walk into a bar…

  8. Rebecca Gayheart No Make Up
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when she was Luke Perry’s love interest in 90210?

    Me neither.

  9. Bill Clinton
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Wishing he had an intern to stick that in

  10. Anne Hathaway Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Miranda Veracruz De La Hoya Cardenal
    Commented on this photo:

    I love the happy dog…

  11. Kevin Costner Christine Baumgartner Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    “…oh, you have a bit of credibility there. Let me remove that for you.”

  12. Ed Harris Gold Tooth HBO Emmy Afterparty
    Commented on this photo:

    Every woman I’ve ever met has claimed she loves a man with a stainless steel cap on his tooth.

  13. Nicole Eggert Belly Tank Top Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    I know perception is relative, but it seems to me she looks better than the last time she visited.

    • Allow me to rephrase…perception is subjective, and from my point of view she looks better than the last time she visited. But what the fuck do I know?…I’m really fucked up in the head.

  14. Billy Connolly Wont Back Down Premiere
    Dave
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave the premiere. Take the Connolly.

  15. Estella Warren
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we sure the kids are the only ones with cancer? Yikes.

  16. Aaron Taylor-Johnson Penis Outline Costume Kick Ass 2 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Welcome to the exclusive screening of “The Son of Mork and Mindy.:

  17. Elisabetta Gregoraci Bikini Paladini Fashion Show Milan Womens Fashion Week
    budgeco
    Commented on this photo:

    @ liam, she does too! Weird!

  18. Jonah Hill Headphones
    Commented on this photo:

    “This is Big Bird to Big Bird Leader…Big Bird to Big Bird Leader…come in, please. Unable to score any soft serve…Big Bird Leader., please advise…”

  19. Michelle Pfeiffer
    Commented on this photo:

    Couric and her need to fight. There can only be one.

  20. Elisabetta Gregoraci Bikini Paladini Fashion Show Milan Womens Fashion Week
    Matt
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, it’s $100 for how many songs?

  21. Kevin Costner Christine Baumgartner Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    I Imagine it’s harder to guide with one-sided reins.

  22. Alexandra Breckenridge Upskirt Panty Flash Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn fine pair of legs.

  23. Katy Pery Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    God damn I would love to wreck that, I want those thighs tightly wrapped around my head

  24. Alexandra Breckenridge Upskirt Panty Flash Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    “Are you sure this is how Riverdance got started?”

  25. Katy Pery Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She may look like she’s horking up a microphone after a long night of Cotton Candy Cocktails, and she may be in an outfit that was tailored to say “there’s a reason I usually wear knee-length skirts and heels”, but she still has her ballet fingers on. You gotta give her the ballet fingers.

  26. Heidi Klum Nipples Carrying Daughter Lou
    Commented on this photo:

    So are we just making every name unisex now?

  27. Megan Fox Pregnant Belly Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Ding! The bellybutton popped. Baby’s ready!

  28. Mila Kunis Ashton Kutcher Matching Clothes
    Commented on this photo:

    Not only can I wear matching shirts with my girlfriend, but how cool is it that we wear the same size too?

  29. Benico Del Toro John Travolta Oliver Stone San Sebastian Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Travolta: Psst. Oliver. Can you move your hand back? And to the left?

  30. Bill Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    “I can’t believe I’m sitting here listening to this bullshit when I could be home watching the Kim Kardashian sex tape, with a bottle of Jack, and a Cuban CEE-gar!”

  31. Sharon Stone Nipples No Bra See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    She has some miles on her, and she doesn’t look as good as she once did, but she’s still an attractive, incredibly intelligent woman with whom I’d love to sit and chat. As long as she let me play with her tits.

  32. Rumer Willis Cleavage Pre Emmy Party
    Commented on this photo:

    So a guy’s decides to bite on a bullet and kiss Rumer Willis. So he slowly works his way up to her lips, and at exactly the right moment…ACKKKK! Cigarette breath…

  33. Nicole Eggert Belly Tank Top Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    She does look better than just six weeks ago (prepare yourselves before you click):

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2189799/The-post-exercise-glow-Nicole-Eggert-determined-return-Baywatch-glory-days-continues-gruelling-exercise-regime.html

    Good on you, Nicole. I wish Weight Watchers had made a deal with you. You seem determined as all hell.

  34. Cher Lloyd Buttcheeks Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    From this vantage point she appears to have beautiful gams.

  35. Cher Lloyd Buttcheeks Bikini
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Talentless chav-scum, apologies from England.

  36. Rebecca Gayheart No Make Up
    Commented on this photo:

    What a pleasant sight for a Monday morning. She is such a ray of sunshine!

  37. Alexandra Breckenridge Upskirt Panty Flash Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    “No no no honey, don’t sit down. There’s no chair behind you yet.”

  38. Jeremy Irons Pants Tucked Into Boots
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m just here in Madrid until tomorrow. Then I will trek to Pamplona where I’m going to chase those fucking bulls!”

  39. Cher Lloyd Buttcheeks Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Tattoos. Why?

  40. Maria Menounos Butt Leather Pants iHeartRadio Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll bet if you pulled down her pants and looked real close, you’d find a little tattoo that says, “George Clooney was here.”

  41. Billy Connolly Wont Back Down Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Ya know, Billy, we all love you madly. But it’s time someone told you, “THAT’S THE UGLIEST FUCKING JACKET EVER MADE!”

  42. Michelle Pfeiffer
    Commented on this photo:

    So now let’s go back to try-hard Sharon Stone with her little plaything in Milan and talk again about she’s still looking sexy, shall we?

  43. Michelle Pfeiffer
    Commented on this photo:

    When I saw her in Lady Hawk I almost fainted. One of the most beautiful women to ever walk the earth.

  44. Elisabetta Gregoraci Bikini Paladini Fashion Show Milan Womens Fashion Week
    Commented on this photo:

    Italian girls always look so much better when they’re pouting.

  45. Jonah Hill Headphones
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s a new superhero in town – it’s ‘Supperman’ .

  46. Billy Connolly Wont Back Down Premiere
    mbcl
    Commented on this photo:

    Geddy Lee : the retirement years.

  47. Nicole Eggert Belly Tank Top Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    Nicole should be applauded! This woman is trying to lose weight the old fashioned way via diet, exercise and public shaming!

  48. Bill Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    “A whole lot of these goodwill ambassadors look nuthin like Angelina Jolie. We gotta get that Kat Dennings interested in sustainable development, if I’m to sustain my development, know what I mean, wink wink, and all tha…well, what have we…aw, goddamnit, not Merkel again.”

  49. Anne Hathaway Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “In the movies, you know me as the deranged and beautiful Catwoman. But in real life, unbeknownst to you all, I am…HATWOMAN!”

  50. Benico Del Toro John Travolta Oliver Stone San Sebastian Film Festival
    ohmyword
    Commented on this photo:

    Three Invisible Dicks- Part 3: The “Rear Entry” Edition

Leave A Comment