The Crap We Missed – Monday 9.17.12

September 17th, 2012 // 833 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of celebrity nonsense and transmute it into pure gold. It’s just like alchemy, only the gold is dick jokes. Anyway, today we’ve got Wilmer Valderrama showing us his swag bag of high tech gadgets that he will trade to teenagers for sex, while Dolph Lundgren opts for a much more direct approach, Victoria Beckham letting baby Harper know what’s will happen if that double chin isn’t gone by her first birthday, this vampire, who will know haunt your dreams for the next eternity or so, and finally, Mark-Paul Gosselaar‘s epic fail at Hamming (I told you).

Holy Cow! Is that a recognizable person in the Final Five? You’ll have to forgive me, it’s unusual is all..

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    icu
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey kids! It’s Howdy Doody time!

  2. Shaun White Dumb Hat The Oranges Screening
    Commented on this photo:

    Is “The Oranges” about gingers?

  3. Halle Berry Bikini Daisy Dukes
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I dont know….Im seeing a little ripple there….tell-tale sign of implants on the outside of the breast near the side of the back..

  4. Lady Gaga Mickey Ears Michael Jackson Glove
    USDA Prime McBeef
    Commented on this photo:

    Matches her ugly little rat face quite nicely.

  5. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Commented on this photo:

    That guy is his maid spotter.

  6. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    Ghost
    Commented on this photo:

    well, not everyone can be as genetically gifted as john hamm

  7. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    Just how cold was the water?!

  8. Lady Gaga Mickey Ears Michael Jackson Glove
    cuddles
    Commented on this photo:

    Yeah, that looks nothing like Madonna in the early 90s. I can’t believe we all got it so wrong.

  9. AnnaLynne McCord Nipples No Bra Tank Top Legs Short Shorts
    Dr Perverto
    Commented on this photo:

    bride of chuckie

  10. Wayne Knight Newman Face
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah-ah-ah, you didn’t say the magic word!

  11. Kate Moss Nipples No Bra Tank Top
    Sarah
    Commented on this photo:

    Who doesn’t love a supermodel?

  12. Halle Berry Bikini Daisy Dukes
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s hot, talented and sometimes batshit crazy.
    You can’t really ask for more than that in a movie star.

  13. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Now imagine being a masseuse and turning around to this after an uninvited reacharound. That’s the stuff PTSD is made of.

  14. Joe Giudice Toy Gun Teresa Giudice Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Eyes in the front…meant to hunt.

    Eyes on the side…meant to hide.

    Please hide.

  15. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, in his defense, the water is cold and he’s got a tight suit on.

  16. Tyra Banks No Make Up Jogging
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    you sure it isn’t tyrone banks?

  17. Nicki Minaj Cleavage
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    someone who couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket judging others on their singing abilities – PERFECT

  18. Kathy Griffin Groping Statue Creative Arts Emmys
    jack
    Commented on this photo:

    i’m falling down from not surprised…

  19. Shannon Leto Jared Leto Artifact Premiere TIFF
    Tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    I can smell the gay gang rape in this photo.

  20. Shaun White Dumb Hat The Oranges Screening
    Ghost
    Commented on this photo:

    a month early for Halloween?

  21. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    salashannah
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a wax figure of himself. Creepy.

    • Eddie Baby

      I thought they would have gone with a era different than the current one for Travolta. Like “Pulp Fiction” or “Saturday Night Fever”. Is this part of a series?

  22. Johnny Galecki Creative Arts Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    Johnny Galecki…

    wasn’t that the kid in that Tom Cruise movie, “Show me the Money”

    Remember that movie?

  23. Kat Von D Butt Crack Yoga Pants
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    Put on a belt if your flat ass can’t hold up your pants.

  24. Fiona Apple
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the pallid and clammy skin of a vegan.

  25. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    Commented on this photo:

    His lady parts are showing.

  26. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress NCLR ALMA Awards
    ty
    Commented on this photo:

    no matter what you say, she still a 5 star. she look good for her age.

  27. Kat Von D Butt Crack Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s out marking her territory.

  28. Dolph Lundgren
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    Dolph Lundgren’s first public appearance after being diagnosed with “Madonna Arms.”

  29. Rumer Willis Cleavage Nipples No Bra
    B&WMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    A symmetric face is a beautiful face. Yeah! Science, Bitch!

  30. Dania Ramirez Cleavage NCLR ALMA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Please bend further forward. I can’t quite see your navel.

  31. Kim Kardashian Khloe Kardashian Huge Butts Tight Pants
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    That diaper don’t look flattering honey. Also, mooooo!

  32. Wilmer Valderrama NCLR ALMA Awards
    Tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not even relevant any more and I stll got one of these bags! Score one for the Fez!

  33. Dania Ramirez Cleavage NCLR ALMA Awards
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “so I was gettin her autograph when I was all like DAMN that’s an ugly dress!”

  34. Amber Heard Butt Tight Jeans Mustang
    pipedreamer
    Commented on this photo:

    It may be 20 miles to San Bernandina but until then Imma fuck you up!

  35. Nicki Minaj Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    HI KIDS…I’M SHITTY THE CLOWN!

  36. Amber Heard Butt Tight Jeans Mustang
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone make my day and tell me she’s frozen in that position.

  37. Padma Lakshmi Cleavage Creative Arts Emmys
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d Lakshmi some of that, please.

  38. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    ty
    Commented on this photo:

    look, I’ve been electrocuted!!

  39. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    That goddamn runaway horse is trampling that smack addict!

  40. Rumer Willis Cleavage Nipples No Bra
    pipedreamer
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um… my chin is up HERE, guys!”

  41. Lady Gaga Mickey Ears Michael Jackson Glove
    Commented on this photo:

    **Guys in the background pretending not to notice her**

  42. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    No, no, that was at ‘Night at the Wax Museum 2′.

  43. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Gay Vulcan

  44. Amber Heard Butt Tight Jeans Mustang
    SugarTits
    Commented on this photo:

    “How much did you say lady? $20? Okay sure, hop in.”

  45. Jeremy Davies Creative Arts Emmys
    Tidbit
    Commented on this photo:

    That damn hobo tried sneaking in as Harvey Keitel.

  46. Victoria Beckham Harper Beckham
    InkyBlack
    Commented on this photo:

    Still, looks more intelligent than his dad.

  47. Siegfried And Roy Holding Baby Oktoberfest
    rantatonne
    Commented on this photo:

    ” The tigers stopped attacking Roy and I, after we begun to feed them these..”
    “‘As a magic trick, of course! What Siegfried meant was as part of an illluuusssiiioonnnn.”

  48. Halle Berry Bikini Daisy Dukes
    BenDoverman
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, no cellulite in sight! That’s a good milf

  49. Dolph Lundgren
    richie
    Commented on this photo:

    he’s giving her, “the old goon arm”.

  50. Padma Lakshmi Cleavage Creative Arts Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice Emmys

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