The Crap We Missed – Monday 9.17.12

September 17th, 2012 // 833 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of celebrity nonsense and transmute it into pure gold. It’s just like alchemy, only the gold is dick jokes. Anyway, today we’ve got Wilmer Valderrama showing us his swag bag of high tech gadgets that he will trade to teenagers for sex, while Dolph Lundgren opts for a much more direct approach, Victoria Beckham letting baby Harper know what’s will happen if that double chin isn’t gone by her first birthday, this vampire, who will know haunt your dreams for the next eternity or so, and finally, Mark-Paul Gosselaar‘s epic fail at Hamming (I told you).

Holy Cow! Is that a recognizable person in the Final Five? You’ll have to forgive me, it’s unusual is all..

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Tyra Banks No Make Up Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought that was Todd Bridges in drag.

  2. Padma Lakshmi Cleavage Creative Arts Emmys
    Commented on this photo:

    Sexy.

  3. Nicki Minaj Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Beautiful girl ruined herself to become this caricature of a person we see here. Still would though.

  4. Olivia Munn Cleavage Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    I would nail her half Asian ass raw. She’s pretty damn hot.

  5. Eva Longoria Butt Tight Dress NCLR ALMA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Checkout girls at Mi Pueblo have sexier asses than that.

  6. Amber Heard Butt Tight Jeans Mustang
    LegMan
    Commented on this photo:

    I need fifty dollars to make me holler. I get paid to do the wild thang.

  7. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    downwithmuffins
    Commented on this photo:

    nice crotch nipple weirdo.

  8. Vanessa Hudgens Cleavage Tank Top Legs Short Shorts
    Later
    Commented on this photo:

    If only she had money to buy decent clothes … :( so sad

  9. Fiona Apple
    Later
    Commented on this photo:

    She is getting sued and changing last name

  10. Wilmer Valderrama NCLR ALMA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Douchebag move #28
    Any time someone takes your photo, point to another person in frame. Or if everybody hates you too much to be seen near you, much less be photographed with you, point to your abs or to an object you are holding in your hand.
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/18/dbag-340_225.jpg[/img]

  11. Nicki Minaj Cleavage
    Later
    Commented on this photo:

    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, heroes in a half shell!… turtle power!

  12. Lady Gaga Mickey Ears Michael Jackson Glove
    Later
    Commented on this photo:

    What the f*ck is this??…. what’s her appeal?.. Straight crazy and should be locked up in a mental institution

  13. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    Ouddy
    Commented on this photo:

    He look like a WAX STATUE in a wax museum.Why isn’t anyone that care about him told him this. This is definitely not a good look at all. He probably have like so many plastic surgery.

  14. January Jones Son Xander With Black Nanny
    Ouddy
    Commented on this photo:

    The nanny’s name is Machone and she has her Katana underneath the babycart.

  15. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    Schweddy Schnatch
    Commented on this photo:

    WOW! KD Lang’s clit is huge!!!

  16. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    DoubleD
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this an old prop from “Face Off”?

  17. Siegfried And Roy Holding Baby Oktoberfest
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Which one was attacked by the tiger? Both of them looked so fucked up I can’t tell.

  18. Kat Von D Butt Crack Yoga Pants
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    The only part of her untouched by tattoo ink is her intestines.

  19. Kim Kardashian Khloe Kardashian Huge Butts Tight Pants
    Pine Table Fever
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Greenpeace can’t be bothered trying to save these whales.

  20. Amber Heard Butt Tight Jeans Mustang
    KV
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t know who she is or what she does but I Love the car and love the jeans.

  21. January Jones Son Xander With Black Nanny
    Sheppy
    Commented on this photo:

    Please don’t take me back to her, PLEASE!

  22. Nicki Minaj Cleavage
    Jewbot
    Commented on this photo:

    BLACK CHICKEN LADY!

  23. Tyra Banks No Make Up Jogging
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s midnight for this cinderella…

  24. Lady Gaga Mickey Ears Michael Jackson Glove
    Montana
    Commented on this photo:

    Funny that the most conservative, toned-down outfit she has ever worn is an homage to Michael F#*&% Jackson.

  25. Shannon Leto Jared Leto Artifact Premiere TIFF
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they going thru the Joaquin Phoenix phase?

  26. Kim Kardashian Khloe Kardashian Huge Butts Tight Pants
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    Those poor heels.
    Oh and DOUBLE MOOOOOOOOOOO

  27. Dania Ramirez Cleavage NCLR ALMA Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    She either has a nice ass or that lady in orange likes her dress

  28. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    I predict he is gonna die soon!… He just has that about to die look.

  29. Mark-Paul Gosselaar Penis Wet Suit
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    “I know, I know, I’m not John Hamm!”

  30. January Jones Son Xander With Black Nanny
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    “If ANY of your babysitters were as ugly, YOU too would be covering your face!”

  31. Jeremy Davies Creative Arts Emmys
    Bionic_Crouton
    Commented on this photo:

    Who can make the sunrise?… The Meth head man can!

  32. John Travolta Savages Premiere
    Bob
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that a wax figure or the real him?

  33. Arnold Schwarzenegger
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Invisible light socket?

  34. Wayne Knight Newman Face
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Hello…..Newwwman….

  35. Shannon Leto Jared Leto Artifact Premiere TIFF
    Herself
    Commented on this photo:

    Thank you, than you so much for this photo.

  36. Jessica Biel Butt Dress
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Clearly Timberlake proposed pre-bangs…

  37. Kim Kardashian Khloe Kardashian Huge Butts Tight Pants
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    In the Battle of the Asses, no one wins.

  38. Rihanna Buttcheek Hole In Dress
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude, Chris Brown punched a hole through her skirt.

  39. Amber Heard Butt Tight Jeans Mustang
    ...
    Commented on this photo:

    Amber and her girlfriend/potential ex-girlfriend Tasya van Ree are more than welcome to make an all girl sandwich with me in the middle, especially if vintage muscle cars are involved. Talk about a wet dream!

  40. Tyra Banks No Make Up Jogging
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t even know she was sick…

  41. Lady Gaga Mickey Ears Michael Jackson Glove
    Katie
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally! A visual on the penis we all knew was there.

  42. Rumer Willis Cleavage Nipples No Bra
    kittenmittensmascotmeow
    Commented on this photo:

    Every time I see her I feel like I should give her a sticker for trying.

  43. Kim Kardashian Khloe Kardashian Huge Butts Tight Pants
    kittenmittensmascotmeow
    Commented on this photo:

    Its not easy moving cattle in a busy place like L.A

  44. Rumer Willis Cleavage Nipples No Bra
    Lou Braccant
    Commented on this photo:

    Her chin and the Audi R8 both have the same front end shape

  45. Kate Moss Nipples No Bra Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Woof.

  46. Siegfried And Roy Holding Baby Oktoberfest
    Commented on this photo:

    Chris Kattan’s kid is a Keebler Elf.

  47. Victoria Beckham Harper Beckham
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not.
    Commented on this photo:

    The baby has more bodyfat in its chin than the mother does in her entire body. Forget any questions about who really supplied the sperm…

  48. Tyra Banks No Make Up Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    Something tells me Eddie Murphy would be all over that now.

  49. Tyra Banks No Make Up Jogging
    Commented on this photo:

    A candid shot from the set of the Oprah life story.
    This is the scene where the tearful, terrified young O runs from her kin who are trying to rape her.
    After the rape, O had to give up running; the weight gain was inevitable.

  50. Fiona Apple
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a talent. That girl is gifted.

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