Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of celebrity nonsense and transmute it into pure gold. It’s just like alchemy, only the gold is dick jokes. Anyway, today we’ve got Wilmer Valderrama showing us his swag bag of high tech gadgets that he will trade to teenagers for sex, while Dolph Lundgren opts for a much more direct approach, Victoria Beckham letting baby Harper know what’s will happen if that double chin isn’t gone by her first birthday, this vampire, who will know haunt your dreams for the next eternity or so, and finally, Mark-Paul Gosselaar‘s epic fail at Hamming (I told you).
Holy Cow! Is that a recognizable person in the Final Five? You’ll have to forgive me, it’s unusual is all..
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Gay German entertainers with a baby…Chick-Fil-A’s most undesired customers ever
Well, here I go being the voice of dissent once again…Kat Von D has more ink than any human being should be allowed to have. But that aside, she’s actually very pretty. Hell, I’d even do her in daylight.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/18/kat-von-d-290_290.jpg[/img]
you do realize that most transsexuals can be made to be mildly attractive with the use of 20lbs of make-up and 20 hours of photoshop right?
Ha-ha-ha-ha…That might be cute if she were a transsexual. I hear that idiots can be made to look pretty good, too. Even Brown ones.
She’s missing a lighting bolt next to the one by her left eye.
Wait, are they making a movie about Jennifer Lopez’s Fly Girl years?
Counting his money in his head
(Seriously, that cast is insanely well-paid)
Damn, she’s got beautiful legs. I hope he wasn’t able to get between them. Unless it’s his wife, in which case, who gives a fuck?
“Yes, I was the one who saw your Total Recall remake. High five!”
Hi, Nessie, you cute little minx…come sit on Grandpa’s fa-…er…LAP!
I’d hate to have her yell at me!
“Hey, Asshole, fuck me again. Only this time I want to cum 5 times!”
I’m up for that challenge.
zz top and zz bottom.
Without seeing her fabulous fanny, I can’t even be sure that’s Jessica Biel. You know, Photoshop and all that…
” …..and could you also write the Gettysburg address ?”
Doctor Why.
Wait, Suri’s dad says he’s straight?
Leelee?
One seemingly innocent request later and now guy behind him has pink eye. And a new watch.
Haaahahahahaaa
The smile says hello but the eyes say “OH GOD DON’T LOOK IN HIS EYES. OH MY LORD JESUS HELP ME. MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP.”
Staying Alive. Kind of.
Somewhere a yeti is missing the pubes from both the left and right side of it’s ball-sack.
He is a cutie & actually pushing 40….I’m in.
And that’s where I go to troll Mexican housekeepers, Arnold.
She is morphing into Willam Dafoe
Such a classy bird.
She’s fucking perfect.
i actually think khloe looks alright… covet that jacket!
At least the baby is still capable of displaying human emotion, unlike her mother.
LBFM.
That baby still has a better expression on it’s face than Jayden Smith.
Reminiscing about boobs that shoot whipped cream.
Not that I’m complaining, I’m definitely not, as a matter of fact I wish more female celebs would adopt this dress code, but does this woman own at least one shirt that isn’t transparent?
I’d take a weed whacker to both their faces.
She has nice…..teeth!
As if I needed more proof that there’s no god.
Or you could say God has a sense of humor
He’ll be disappointed when he finds out Dakota Fanning is no longer underage. He’ll refer to her as “legally disgusting”.
I can picture five consultants giddily giggling their queer eyes out.
i dunno what you guys are talking about. i think she looks quite pretty. her makeup is nice.
Poor Superficial readers, do you not keep up with latest in celebrity tit news? After you see this you’ll never forget who she is.
http://www.kingofcelebs.com/mediaswf.php?type=vid&name=Lake_Bell_How_to_Make_It_in_America_S02E03.flv
DO NOT CLICK the link above. It leads to a fake video page that is really a link and it tries to drop DOZENS of tracking cookies.
Why lie when people can just click the link and figure you out? It leads to a site that specializes in celebrity nudes and the scene in question is Lake Bell getting out of bed topless revealing her glorious tits.
Thanks, Asshat. Like we all need more tracking cookies on our computer. I think we’ll all let you be the one to click the link and gape at what’s her names “glorious tits.” Like there aren’t a thousand tit based websites we can’t all access already. By all means though, feel free to wake me if John Hamm takes his glorious dog out for a promenade.
Jesus, have a shit-hemorrhage. If you don’t like the cookies, fucking dump them. They’re easy enough to delete.
Thanks, Don. That woman does, indeed, have a marvy pair of lungs. Her keister ain’t too bad, either!
“Iff I stick close enuff to dis gesticulatink idiot, no vun vill notice my stoopidly inapwopwiate old-man mocs.”
“I must break you.”
Obviously doesn’t give a fuck anymore.
Can’t really blame Beardy Boy – I’d be preparing to spank that with all of my might too.
JENNY CRAIG AIN’T GOT SHIT ON ME!! said Heroin.
“Xenu cured me of my homosexuality!!”
This is why Kelly Kapowski left him. I mean, Slater had elastic on the BOTTOM of his jeans. He had to’ve been hung like a horse.
I knew well about Al Jarreau’s golden voice, but nothing had prepared me for the awesome set of hips the old man was rocking.
Not, but Johnny Mayer likes to play with poop. Like for real.
She’s fucking beautiful and funny. Love her on Children’s Hospital.
Tattoos are ugly and stupid.
God damn it. She’s wearing boys’ underwear under that shirt. I would personally like to remove them with my teeth.
She was Kristen Stewart before Kristen Stewart.
I want to do some criminal things to her.
I love clothes with diddlin’ holes built right in.