The Crap We Missed – Monday 9.12.16

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, your cornucopia of celebrity schadenfreude that includes Nicolas Cage with a bird of prey, Alexander Skarsgard doubling the population of France, Rihanna’s nipples with a baby, bald Vince Vaughn, and this photo of Denzel Washington whose eyes are saying it all, and by all, I mean “What kind of white bullshit is this?” There is seriously a ton of shit in here, which is what happens when I take a five day weekend to move across the country only to have settlement delayed by a week, so I have to fly back and move in with my parents at which point they finally grasp what it is I do for a living. #CroppingAssPhotosAtMyChildhoodDinnerTable #NotSecretlyADrugDealerISwear

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Instagram