The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.4.14

August 4th, 2014 // 468 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the full blossoming of Bruce Jenner‘s beautiful mullet. If that thing had breasts that it was exploiting on social media to squeeze out it’s last few droplets of fame, it surely would have lead today’s gallery. But this Internet empire lives and dies by the pageview (Perverts, right this way.), so hopefully you’ll click all the way through not-at-all-shitfaced-drunk-while-on-probation Chris Brown, as well as Bishop Don “Magic” Juan making sure a bitch isn’t infringing on his territory, and more promotional shots from Nicki Minaj, who apparently made an album dedicated entirely to her ass.

And now back to the loyal perverts who pay for the gym shorts I work in – Remember when Taylor Momsen was a little kid? I’ll see you all in Hell,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Salma Hayek Cleavage Jay Z Beyonce Concert
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Salma has looked this good for 25 years.
    She really has…

  2. Rod Stewart Awkward Kick
    Commented on this photo:

    Alone in your bed at night, hernia.
    It’s half past midnight, hernia.
    As you turn out your sidelight, hernia.
    Something ain’t right, hernia.

  3. Barefoot Bearded Guy Ritchie Checking Out Model
    Commented on this photo:

    “… like a virgin, touched for the very first t-i-i-i-i-i-me….”

  4. Anne Hathaway Butt Spandex Pants Hoodie Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    Tinky Winky fell on hard times after the homosexual allegations caused the cancellation of the Teletubbies.

  5. DeAndre Jordan Crazy Face Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Tragically, he’s not making a face.

  6. Angelyne Cleavage Legs Leopard Minidress
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    The Grinch in drag

  7. Lena Dunham Fat legs Cellulite Miniskirt Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that the elephant that cried when released from captivity after 20 years?

  8. Brandi Glanville Drunk Cleavage Tight Dress Peace Sign Vivica A Fox 50th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Well, Brandi, the good news is that’s three less BJ’s than you gave on the way INTO the party.”

  9. Bella Thorne Butt Leather Miniskirt Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re never too young for a douchebag hat.

  10. Barefoot Bearded Guy Ritchie Checking Out Model
    Commented on this photo:

    “Sitting on the park bench –
    eyeing little girls with bad intent.
    Snot is running down his nose –
    greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.”

  11. Angelyne Cleavage Legs Leopard Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    What’s worse than seeing this on this site? Seeing it in person. At least she’s kind enough to drive a hot pink Corvette as a warning to avert your eyes from its driver.

  12. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, you can’t have any food or drinks! Now stay thin, and go make a stupid yoga pose so I can take a picture and post it to the Superficial!”

  13. Michael Bay Licking Lips Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yeah, I’m really excited about Mutant… Teenage… — this cue card is all wrong – fuck it, I’m out of here!”

  14. Jonah Hill Fat Body
    Commented on this photo:

    Jonah and the whale.

  15. Fergie Thin Sickly Looking Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    The new “Action Series” from Madame Tussaud’s is getting some really bad reviews.

  16. Lana Del Rey Legs Daisy Dukes
    Commented on this photo:

    So when does she start shooting Prometheus 2?

  17. Anne Hathaway Butt Spandex Pants Hoodie Sunglasses
    Commented on this photo:

    “Come on, Sarah, open up, it’s me, Anne! I have apples and carrots for you!”

  18. Kelly Osbourne Drunk Facial Plastic Surgery Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    She looked better after she got her head bitten off in Sharknado 2…oops…spoiler alert!

  19. Angelyne Cleavage Legs Leopard Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    This is the saddest f**king thing I’ve ever seen on The Superficial, and you guys practically worship Tori Spelling’s concave chest. I need a drink.

  20. Chris Brown Drunk Spraying Champagne Gotha Club VIP Room
    Commented on this photo:

    I wish Tom Hardy would just punch that guy.

  21. Kate Del Castillo Cleavage Legs Leather Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Cat People getting another remake?

  22. Michael Bay Licking Lips Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    “Her name is “Bella” what?”

  23. Jonah Hill Fat Body
    Marketing Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    Not only did he gain ALL the weight back,
    but he did it after a complete gastric bypass.
    They stapled/cut 1/2 of his stomach shut.
    That means he had to eat twice as much,
    to gain the same weight he had before.

    • Holy shit, I feel like puking up the smoothie I just had after reading that. When he goes, he just goes all the way, doesn’t he?

    • I don’t think so, Marketing Mike. Without much effort the stomach stretches making room for larger quantities of food. Not to mention the band may have broken, slipped, or he may have had it removed for one idiotic reason or another.

      • This. One of my friends who had a bypass gained it all back after 2 years. Bypass is not a magic quick fix (I’ve had it, trust me). It’s a major surgery, and you have to still watch what you eat. The bonus is that you don’t absorb all the calories you eat (due to the missing portion of the upper intestine) and you get full on very little food – at first. If you eat too much too fast you will get crazy pain and will get sick – at first. You can’t tolerate a lot initially. You start on pure liquids and slowly introduce solids back in. After you can do soft solids you add other foods. Meat is last. You have to watch breads because it will ball up and fucking KILL when it hits your stomach.

        So you lose a lot of weight quickly just before (you are normally on liver-shrinking shakes 2-4 weeks prior to surgery) and after the surgery, but eventually you can start eating normal foods, and if you consistently eat to the point of being uncomfortably full, you will stretch the stomach back out. Likewise, if the food you do eat is crazy high calories (like frappucinos and shit), and you don’t exercise, you will gain it back.

        The dietician, nurses and surgeon all really emphasised with me that it’s a lifestyle change. You HAVE to modify your eating and exercise habits in conjunction with the surgery in order for it to work in the long run.

      • All of that being said, everything I’ve read says that he went to a nutritionist and changed his diet. I don’t see anything confirming it was bariatric surgery or a lap band. ?

    • Nut bra

      Meh. I knew a chick who ate her way through a gastric band. That’s a determined lack of self-control right there. Gross.

  24. Bella Thorne Butt Leather Miniskirt Teenage Mutant Ninja Turles LA Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow! I’ve already been damned to Hell, and I didn’t even post a comment. At least it’s a dry heat.

  25. Brittny Gastineau Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Thug life

  26. Earvin Johnson III Spiked Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like gabourey sidibe lost a lot of weight.

    and hair.

  27. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    “Why are you standing upright?”

  28. Salma Hayek Cleavage Jay Z Beyonce Concert
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see her back here, it’s been a while.

  29. Chris Brown Drunk Spraying Champagne Gotha Club VIP Room
    Commented on this photo:

    Hipster would only be amused if Shit Stain was spraying Pabst.

  30. Lena Dunham Fat legs Cellulite Miniskirt Derpface
    Commented on this photo:

    Would you look at the bear claws on this one.

  31. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Not pictured, fourteen guys of various ages floating behind Baby V like that dog who loved treats in those old cartoons.

  32. Stacy Keibler Sideboob Pregnant Belly
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    This could be Lohan on a good day.

  33. Sean Bean Drunk Terrified Woman JFK Airport
    Commented on this photo:

    “Brace yourself… M&M’s are coming!”

  34. Vita Sidorkina Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Very nice dear, but you’re not getting a call-up this season. You’ll have to make do with David Spade until the 2015 training camp.

  35. Kate Del Castillo Cleavage Legs Leather Miniskirt
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    One day head transplants will be perfected and I nominate her to be first in line.

  36. Bruce Jenner Flowing Mullett
    Commented on this photo:

    Ya know, a lot of guys when they come to that mid-life crisis, they feel like they’ve missed something. They flip out. They don’t know what to do! But not Bruce! He knew what to do. He hopped right on a plane, flew to Sweden and had the operation that is allowing him to experience the side of life that he’d missed.

  37. Lana Del Rey Legs Daisy Dukes
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Lana, I’m a bigwig in the industry…

  38. Vanessa Hudgens Butt Yoga Pants
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    With that hair, you would think she has been hanging out under bridges with Zac.

  39. Brittny Gastineau Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This video is 1:30 of Gastineau displaying her ass and waving it around like a freaking monkey in heat.

    Gotta respect her earnestness.

  40. Brittny Gastineau Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahhhh I forgot the page address:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KcxkQFSy65o

    I hate the fact you can’t edit your own errors.

  41. Kelly Osbourne Drunk Facial Plastic Surgery Chateau Marmont
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking like a cross between her father and Dolph Lundgren more and more each day. My condolences to Life Serial.

  42. Jennifer Nicole Lee Cleavage Tight Minidress Hooker Heels Rubbing Foot
    Flatliner
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice to see that she doesn’t need fins when in the water.

  43. Earvin Johnson III Spiked Heels
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s just a matter of time before he chops his dick off. Get ready, Ebay.

  44. Alec Baldwin Hilaria Baldwin Butt Yoga Pants
    j/k
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she doing that Smooth Criminal thing?

  45. Bishop Don Magic Juan Leering At Tara Reid Vivica A Fox 50th Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    That is the face of a girl who just realized she is in the wrong neighborhood.

  46. Alessandra Ambrosio Nipples No Bra Cleavage Tight Dress Eating Ice Cream Cone
    Commented on this photo:

    3.2.1…Photoshop go!

  47. Bishop Don Magic Juan Leering At Tara Reid Vivica A Fox 50th Birthday Party
    NOPE
    Commented on this photo:

    hey remember these people from the 90′s?

  48. Minka Kelly Cleavage Bra See Through Tank Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice rack, but don’t think I forgot about your cankles.

  49. Kate Del Castillo Cleavage Legs Leather Miniskirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Doesn’t she drive in NASCAR?

  50. Michael Bay Licking Lips Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles LA Premiere
    NOPE
    Commented on this photo:

    “Found my new muse. That bitch Megan talks to much.”

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