The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.31.15

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed which is full of — you guessed it — more VMAs shit, in an effort to adhere to our new No Tit Left Behindpolicy. Honestly, Fish is half deranged from having to write jokes about Miley Cyrus’ nipple beef (*rereads* I stand by that assessment of our team VMA coverage), and like an asshole, I actually watched Kanye’s speech, so I died. I flew to California, had sex with Tara Reid, cut Rebecca Gayheart off in traffic, then sewed myself into the ass of Kim Kardashian’s dress. I left nothing to chance, so promise me you’ll all vote to reelect Our Great Orange Hope in 2020. There’s no way Kanye will have the administrative experience to keep the fighting pits open.

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, Instagram