Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, which has turned out to be a most comprehensive collection of all things TCWM. Just to be sure, I’m going to dust off the checklist I tore out of Fish’s instruction manual — which was passed down to me on day one of this job — Unlocking The Internet Code: Turning Candid Breasts Photos & Penis Jokes Into A Real Career! and give it a once over.
TCWM Rundown Sheet – Include all photos that could be described as follows:
1. Breasts, whenever possible, lead with.
2. Vague Star Wars references.
3. Hey, look how fat she looks!
4. Her too.
5. Completely unfair comparison of gorgeous mother to hideous daughter.
6. Completely fair comparison of Kim Kardashian‘s disgusting ass to Alessandra Ambrosio‘s amazing one.
7. More butts.
8. Hipsters and Douchebags.
9. Hey, look a drug addict!
10. Awkward Family Photos.
11. Politics.
12. People’s faces next to butts.
13. Mind control.
14. David Beckham‘s dong touching anything.
15. Dirty women.
And finally. Always, if possible, Billy Connolly wearing a fox pelt over his cock.
I can’t help feeling something else is missing fro– Prince Charles! Damnit, I was so close,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
If Demi had sex with any other guy but Bruce, this is probably what one of the daughters would look like
The Pitch actually sold this photo to the tabloids.
NASA wanted to honor Neil Armstrong’s final wish, but the there just wasn’t enough money in the budget. But I think the Commander would be happy with our back-up plan for his ashes.
Hail to the Chief, darlin’.
God damn it, Lucas! Enough with the Special Editions!!
Xenu commands you to bring me another juice box.
Tinkerbell did pretty well for herself, once she met The Donald.
“Well, it’s not electricity, but you’ve certainly discovered something, young lady.”
she seems to be accepting cum…
MMIIIIIIIIJJAAAAHHH!! -Heroes
Yikes
I have to say the new marriage looks good on him :)
So it’s safe to awesome that the rumours are true? Jonah Hill is indeed preggers?
The pants give her muffin thigh.
Nice beaver….shit……its a fox.
That’s enough stretched skin for a drum set.
Tits should look fun, not painful. When I see them, I prefer a pleasant wiener tingle over creeping sadness.
Ben is bored stiff by French whores.
I do not understand the appeal of this man – he is UGLY
Oh please!
I would bet anything that she doesn’t know who the hell Randy Rhoads or Jake E. Lee are? Or that she couldn’t name a song any off the Ozzman’s first 4 albums.
She knows Crazy Train though?
They don’t know bootay do they?
You’re telling me you didn’t have to blow the doorman to get in? What doorman you ask?
All I have to say is that is a pussy-ass push up man!!
Vee are jus trying to ged laid…anyvon anyvon!!
I’m just curious who the third glass was for….
Anything like Olive Garden?!
Somewhere in Hollywood, a publicist just facepalmed herself.
Twitter, Facebook, Instagram ( flickr if you’re old school )…publicists must think these are tools of the devil. Do you think they have publicist conventions where they all get together and bemoan their clients’ twit-pics?
I know there’s got to be publicists reading this right now, trolling the gossip blogs to check their clients’ exposure. Come on! Join the conversation! Let us all know what it’s like to front for these mental giants and their pithy 140 characters!
I love a big ass, but that’s fucking unreal. And that’s what it look like with pants securing it in place and giving it some semblance of assiness. Can you imagine how much bigger, saggier, lumpier, bumpier zittier more hirsute and shittier that fucking Armenian posterior looks without ‘em?