The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.26.13

August 26th, 2013 // 670 Comments

Welcome to a post-awards-show-weekend Monday edition of The Crap We Missed. Roughly translated, that means there’s a ton of shit in here. I’m tempted to point you right to the end of this gallery for my favorite selections from the VMAs, starting here, followed by Tommy Lee DJaculating and all ending with news that Miss Butt Brazil is getting its own show. I can’t wait for you to get there, but I don’t want you to miss Flynn‘s 21st birthday party that’s supposedly taking place in a nightclub, but we all know it’s an IHOP, Gerard Depardieu still wondering why nobody took his cookie order yet, or John Malkovich trying to explain to this little girl why he’s wearing her grandmother’s pajamas.

Wait, Marc Anthony was at that Scientology Gala thing too?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Busy Philipps Post Baby Body Comedy Central Roast Of James Franco
    Commented on this photo:

    No, Busy, there’s no meat here. It’s not that kind of roast.

  2. Justin Timberlake Looking Terrified Of Guy In Military Uniform
    fuckface
    Commented on this photo:

    “You think YOU have been in the SHIT…Let me tell you how I almost lost a CAREER. There I was, on stage, at Super Bowl 38.” (takes a slow drag on his cigarette) ” It was mayhem, ya know. Everything is lit up, no where to hide, movements in the shadows. It was HELL…”

  3. Gwyneth Paltrow Nipples Sideboob No Bra Sundress
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess there’s nothing in the Tracy Anderson workout routine that can undo tiny titty sag syndrome. Tragic.

  4. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Implants In Touch 6th Annual Idols & Icons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Seabiscuit phoned – he’d like his teeth back.

  5. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Implants In Touch 6th Annual Idols & Icons Event
    caley
    Commented on this photo:

    ‘In Touch’ is really, REALLY lowering the bar on Icons and/or Idols.

  6. Candice Swanepoel MIdriff Crop Top
    Commented on this photo:

    You mother fuckers, I was just about to post MY Jamie Lee Curtis joke. Wouldn’t have been as good as McFee’s but still.

  7. Miranda Kerr Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn she is pretty.

  8. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    Fat Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not McGyver; that’s the thing that ate McGyver during the series finale.

  9. Lil Kim Huge Butt Mesh Leather Unitard VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Not so Lil.

  10. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    Fat Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    I had no idea horses had nipples. Can you milk a horse?

  11. Iggy Azalea Butt See Through Dress VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    I see science has finally perfected a way to assemble a woman from mismatched parts.

  12. Willow Smith Jaden Smith Arrogant Faces VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Jaden is still a little woozy from seeing Miley’s ass in those shorts.

  13. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    I am assuming the full name of the whatever song or album she is promoting is “Finger Bangerz”.

  14. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Interesting combover.

  15. Rihanna Tight Minidress VMAs Afterparty
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sometimes all you need is a LBD & matching black thong but no one should be able to tell that all you’re wearing is the LBD & matching black thong.

  16. Marc Anthony Kneeling Down Putting Face On Stage
    Fat Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay JLo, I am ready for you. One day, I hope it will be my turn on top and you on the bottom with your ass in the air like a dog in heat.

  17. Gerard Depardieu Estaimpuis Belgium Honorary Citizenship Ceremony
    Fat Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy F*ck, we’ve found Honey Boo Boo’s daddy!

  18. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Commented on this photo:

    I am laughing too hard at this photo to come up with an appropriate comment.

  19. Willow Smith Jaden Smith Arrogant Faces VMAs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Are we sure it’s really the Smith kids? They are looking less abnormal than usual here. A plain black t-shirt…WTF?

  20. Lady Gaga Breast Being Groped By Female Fan Outside Terry Richardson Studio
    Commented on this photo:

    So basically Terry Richardson’s studio is a sovereign nation where as long as you wear a plaid shirt you can sexually assault women?

  21. Foxy Brown Cleavage Spandex Dress Long Blonde Extensions VMAs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Jeezus her hair extension are falling out right there on the red carpet. Nasty!

  22. Justin Timberlake Looking Terrified Of Guy In Military Uniform
    Commented on this photo:

    “Justin, I served with your father; he wanted me to give this watch…”

  23. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Jowls Fan Expo Canada
    Commented on this photo:

    McGyver turned into Rosie O’Donnel?

  24. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    This is just sad now, he must be months away from death at this point.

  25. Lil Kim Huge Butt Mesh Leather Unitard VMAs
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder how long it took her posse to squeeze her into that?

  26. Willow Smith Jaden Smith Arrogant Faces VMAs
    Fat Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    The doucheness is strong with this one. I just wish he’d stop touching his sister’s boob and calling her Miley.

  27. Harrison Ford Yelling At Crowd
    Commented on this photo:

    “The only thing worse than working with Wookies – Bulgarians.”

  28. Justin Timberlake Looking Terrified Of Guy In Military Uniform
    Commented on this photo:

    “There’s a black man touching me, don’t panic, don’t panic”

  29. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone is being sent to the glue factory I see.

  30. Lady Gaga Breast Being Groped By Female Fan Outside Terry Richardson Studio
    heey
    Commented on this photo:

    it is clear the secret she covers up through the court documents is she used to be a man, female hormones can only do so much, look at that lady gaga, she is a man
    and that girl in the background is same as the girl in severeal different day photos in los angeles, fan followed her to new york, stalk much?

  31. Miss Butt Brazil Carine Felizardo Butt Bikini Eliana Amaral
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    These are the women I wanna see twerking….from a safe distance.

  32. Foxy Brown Cleavage Spandex Dress Long Blonde Extensions VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    If it weren’t for the dinner plate sized areola peeking out, this picture would have been totally unsexy.

  33. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Implants In Touch 6th Annual Idols & Icons Event
    ultra
    Commented on this photo:

    not famous. stop it.

  34. Tommy Lee Coked Up Insane Face DJ Set Gryphon Nightclub
    Fat Albert
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t know the Hard Rock had a senior citizen night.

  35. Lil Kim Huge Butt Mesh Leather Unitard VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is going to look like a waffle for days.

  36. Tommy Lee Coked Up Insane Face DJ Set Gryphon Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    I assume he’s scratching the turntable with his penis.

  37. Orlando Bloom Post Romeo And Juliet Performance Broadway
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like someone got into Daniel Radcliffe’s stash.

  38. Evan Ross Joe Simpson Revolve Beach House
    Commented on this photo:

    “Evan, thanks for pulling this out of my ass. I can’t believe you were able to get all the way up there and get ahold of it.”

  39. Miranda Kerr Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    The kind of woman wars get started over.

  40. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    I like Justin Bieber’s fingernails.

  41. Evan Ross Joe Simpson Revolve Beach House
    Commented on this photo:

    What are 2 gay guys that claim they are straight for $250 Alex.

  42. Jada Pinkett Smith Cleavage Bra Open Denim Shirt Afro Punk Festival Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, her chest looks like a Klingon forehead.

  43. Candice Swanepoel MIdriff Crop Top
    Commented on this photo:

    Weird…me three.

  44. Mischa Barton Fat Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, what the hell happened to her?

  45. Willow Smith Jaden Smith Arrogant Faces VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Kid always looks terrified. It’s almost as if he makes one. wrong. move. he could just… dissappear.

  46. Evan Ross Joe Simpson Revolve Beach House
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwwwww.

  47. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    Was this the point when Terry Richardson *ahem* BOLTED from the room?

  48. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Just Me
    Commented on this photo:

    I do not understand these bitches. Really? The troll in magenta pajamas is worth it?

  49. Terrence Howard Skullcap Indiana Jones Hat Yellow Sneakers
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s hard out there for a gay pimp?

  50. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Jade
    Commented on this photo:

    John Malkovich appears to be winning the contest he’s having with Steven Tyler on who can be the best woman. The purse was a great move.

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