The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.26.13

August 26th, 2013 // 670 Comments

Welcome to a post-awards-show-weekend Monday edition of The Crap We Missed. Roughly translated, that means there’s a ton of shit in here. I’m tempted to point you right to the end of this gallery for my favorite selections from the VMAs, starting here, followed by Tommy Lee DJaculating and all ending with news that Miss Butt Brazil is getting its own show. I can’t wait for you to get there, but I don’t want you to miss Flynn‘s 21st birthday party that’s supposedly taking place in a nightclub, but we all know it’s an IHOP, Gerard Depardieu still wondering why nobody took his cookie order yet, or John Malkovich trying to explain to this little girl why he’s wearing her grandmother’s pajamas.

Wait, Marc Anthony was at that Scientology Gala thing too?

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    So is anyone else freaked out by the length of her fingers?

  2. Tara Reid Bikini Jedward Yacht Raft
    Commented on this photo:

    So Jedward, Tara Reid and some dude with a lit cigarette are all getting on an inflatable boat with a tank of gasoline onboard, out at sea with no land in sight. Ghost of Charles Darwin – I summon thee!

  3. Kelly Osbourne Purple Hair BeautyCon
    dontkillthemessenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone just asked her why she’s at BeautyCon?

  4. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    Except for the excess clothing, that’s a pretty good Miley Cyrus impersonation.

  5. Sarah Jessica Parker Swimsuit
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Her agent just sent her out to pasture.

  6. Gerard Depardieu Estaimpuis Belgium Honorary Citizenship Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    I think they actually made him an historical landmark.

  7. Gwyneth Paltrow Nipples Sideboob No Bra Sundress
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    Where is my quill pen and ink? The only proper way to provide an autograph is with a quill made with a feather from the rare Icelandic peacock, and with indigo ink made by freezing lower-class babies until they are blue and then draining their blood through a platinum needle. Why don’t you people know these things!?!

  8. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s not going to be satisfied until Billy Ray has to watch her perform a 6 way interracial gangbang. She and Billy Ray have that in common.

  9. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Commented on this photo:

    All those years my Nana complained the nursing home people were stealing her clothes and we all just laughed and thought she was senile. Who’d have figured it was Malkovich all along?

  10. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Kama Sutra for hetero-pretenders.

  11. Harrison Ford Yelling At Crowd
    Commented on this photo:

    would rather be in sofia vergara than sofiia bulgaria.

  12. Marc Anthony Kneeling Down Putting Face On Stage
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh man, they really shouldn’t have told him that Justin Beiber performed there the night before.

  13. Tara Reid Bikini Jedward Yacht Raft
    Commented on this photo:

    And just like that, Mel Gibson used the last of his Hollywood money on one of the greatest Internet gambles of all time.

    Sure, there was a chance that people wouldn’t pay money to see a Tara Reid/Albino twins threesome, but that also meant that there was a chance people WOULD pay to see such a thing. And so, the first few steps towards a Skanknado, began.

  14. RJ Mitte 21st Birthday Party Ghostbar
    Ken
    Commented on this photo:

    Waterhouse… Stackhouse. Must hear that a lot

  15. Tara Reid Bikini Jedward Yacht Raft
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    Is this the set of Sharknado II?

  16. Kate Moss Nipple Slip
    Commented on this photo:

    And suddenly I’m hungry for pancakes.

  17. RJ Mitte 21st Birthday Party Ghostbar
    Commented on this photo:

    Do you guys remember men? That was a fun time in human history.

  18. JoJo Levesque Saggy Cleavage VIBE 20th Anniversary Celebration
    Commented on this photo:

    And suddenly I’m hungry for pancakes.

  19. Gerard Depardieu Estaimpuis Belgium Honorary Citizenship Ceremony
    Commented on this photo:

    How can a sash not fit?

  20. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    CrashHell
    Commented on this photo:

    So is this an actual invitation for the gang rape after the show, or are we just supposed to ‘crash’?

  21. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s almost like she read a book called “How To Be A Hard Core Gangster” and then didn’t do any of that, and just acted like a spoiled brat.

  22. Jennifer Love Hewitt Pregnant Belly Brian Hallisay
    EricLR
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the green shirt is wondering why that white boy has a bomb strapped to his back.

  23. Foxy Brown Cleavage Spandex Dress Long Blonde Extensions VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    At what point is she required to change her name?

  24. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    Dee Snider should really invest in some sunscreen.

  25. Milla Jovovich Nipples See Through Shirt
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    Check out that guy’s awesome Yoda shirt! *takes hit from inhaler* Was there something else in this photo that I should notice?

  26. Lil Kim Huge Butt Mesh Leather Unitard VMAs
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, this one actually does work on the wrong photo: At what point is she required to change her name?

  27. Harrison Ford Yelling At Crowd
    Commented on this photo:

    (“There goes a narwhal!”) “EEN! EEN!”

  28. Tommy Lee Coked Up Insane Face DJ Set Gryphon Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Doing a set of heroin.

  29. Farrah Abraham Cleavage Implants In Touch 6th Annual Idols & Icons Event
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess all that ass-pounding knocked an eyeball loose.

  30. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “…Crack three eggs and place in large bowl. Wedge cooking whisk into vagina, then use to beat eggs…”

  31. Miley Cyrus Buttcheeks Bangerz Shirt Instagram
    Kris Jenner
    Commented on this photo:

    I want to her to finger my butthole with those freakishly long fingers

  32. Justin Timberlake Looking Terrified Of Guy In Military Uniform
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    That horse has nice boobz.

  33. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    Please post the photos from when second from left and right got their tops and bottoms mixed up.

  34. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Just off-screen is their picnic lunch: A cobb salad and water for him, and a six piece chicken nuggets Happy Meal with juicebox and a girls toy for her.

  35. Terrence Howard Skullcap Indiana Jones Hat Yellow Sneakers
    PathosAvenger
    Commented on this photo:

    I didn’t know horses had tits.

  36. Jada Pinkett Smith Cleavage Bra Open Denim Shirt Afro Punk Festival Performance
    Commented on this photo:

    Dee Snider should really invest in some sunscreen.

    • Every time someone tried to put some on him, he kept yelling “WE’RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT!” so they just left him alone to burn in the sun.

  37. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    “I…do…not…lick? LIKE..green…eggs…and…ham?”

  38. Jeffrey Ross Cornrows Gold Teeth Comedy Central Roast Of James Franco
    Commented on this photo:

    Please post the photos from when second from left and right got their tops and bottoms mixed up.

  39. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they dating, or did he just do a broad daylight rape takedown in the park?

  40. Jada Pinkett Smith Cleavage Bra Open Denim Shirt Afro Punk Festival Performance
    Dildo Baggins
    Commented on this photo:

    So this cunt is a singer now ? FUCKIN HATE THIS WHOLE FAMILY !!!!! I

  41. Bradley Cooper Groping Suki Waterhouse In Park
    Commented on this photo:

    Are they dating, or did he just do a broad daylight rape takedown in the park on a random chick?

  42. Justin Timberlake Looking Terrified Of Guy In Military Uniform
    Stella Watten
    Commented on this photo:

    How long has Dee Snider been black ?

  43. Jada Pinkett Smith Cleavage Bra Open Denim Shirt Afro Punk Festival Performance
    kevin kenish from connecticut
    Commented on this photo:

    How long has Dee Snider been black ?

  44. Lena Dunham Carrying Food And Drinks
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “‘Try a smoothie’ they said. ‘It tastes just like a milkshake and it makes you feel good’ they said.”

  45. John Malkovich Wearing Pajamas Talking To Child
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what we call a skort-off

  46. Mischa Barton Fat Legs
    Commented on this photo:

    Good to see some meat on her bones and everywhere else.

  47. Evan Ross Joe Simpson Revolve Beach House
    Tiggles
    Commented on this photo:

    You must mean “Bath House” not “Beach House”.

  48. Tara Reid Bikini Jedward Yacht Raft
    Commented on this photo:

    Unfortunately, the two gay Twilight vampires forgot that exposure to sunlight would kill them, leaving a befuddled Tara Reid adrift at sea, incapable of understanding the concept of a stearing wheel.

  49. Mischa Barton Fat Legs
    kevin kenish from connecticut
    Commented on this photo:

    Pay attention cute hippie girls , This is your future!

  50. Carla Howe Melissa Howe Bikini Hugh Hefner Playboy Mansion
    Commented on this photo:

    “I call this one “The Miley Cyrus,” MotherF@#%’ers!”

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