The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.18.14

August 18th, 2014 // 597 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed where I’m going to get right into it today, because holy shit is this thing full of some fuckery. We’ve got Gerard Butler and Mel Gibson having a nice chat over lunch that Fish and I are entirely convinced is just them shouting “BLOW ME!” and “PORT-A-POTTY!” back and forth until one passes out. Then there’s Chris Brown showing off doing backflips at a charity event, because those things are about trying to inflate your already monstrous ego, right? We’ve also got Queen Latifah in a swimsuit (Fellas?), Hilaria Baldwin giving a virtual tour of her birth canal, and Dennis Rodman addressing a children’s basketball program, which as far as I can tell isn’t Scared Straight, so it shouldn’t be happening.

Matter of fact, let’s just go ahead and get some of those Ebola suits for the kids and you what? Just burn the whole thing to the ground. You really can’t be too cautious here,

- Photo Boy

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Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Madonna Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    What she thinks she still looks like.

  2. Brody Jenner Creepy Porn Stache Licking Lips Rehab Pool Original Dayclub
    Commented on this photo:

    His name is “Brody”

    Enough said.

  3. Luis Guzman Puerto Ricans In Paris Set
    Aaron
    Commented on this photo:

    Can I touch your tummy? When are you due?

  4. Chloe Grace Moretz Licking Lips GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh come on… Even Hansen has to cut us a break on this one.

  5. Gerard Butler Mel Gibson Eating Lunch
    Commented on this photo:

    “Have you done it in a port-a-potty?”
    “Can’t say that I have. Have you done a untalented back stabbing gold digger?”

  6. Emily Browning Drunk Sweaty Shoreditch House
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Showing off that British tan.

  7. Chloe Grace Moretz Licking Lips GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    I need a throwaway account and burner phone to say what I’m thinking.

  8. Lisa Rinna Nipples Tanktop Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Order online by 4pm and have Lisa deliver it tomorrow afternoon.

  9. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Michael
    Commented on this photo:

    Hell yeah!

  10. Alyssa Milano Hugely Pregnant Disney Junior Pirate And Princess Power Of Doing Good Tour
    Commented on this photo:

    The Kardashian line of athletic clothing just got its most resounding endorsement.

  11. Zoe Saldana Nipples No Bra Pregnant Belly Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    well, I guess I don’t have to wonder what her nipples look like any more. Puffy…they look puffy.

  12. Donald Sterling Passenger Seat Of Car Mr Chow
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s always a fat black whore in the back of every picture of Donald Sterling.

  13. Madonna Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    So nipples DO have souls. I knew it !

  14. Chloe Grace Moretz Licking Lips GMA
    Michael
    Commented on this photo:

    One more year, she’ll be legal.

    Save your creamy loads until then!

  15. Bijou Phillips Orgasm Face Danny Masterson Daughter Fianna
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, looks like one 70′s Show castmember at least had the decency to ruin the body of someone we DON’T give a rat’s ass about.

  16. Chloe Grace Moretz Licking Lips GMA
    Commented on this photo:

    age of consent in New York is 17. Just a bit of unrelated trivia I googled for no particular reason.

  17. Katherine Schwarzenegger Maria Shriver Creative Arts Emmy Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Have you ever cornered an opossum in your back yard?

  18. Donald Sterling Passenger Seat Of Car Mr Chow
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that Martin Lawrence in the back seat?

  19. Nicole Eggert Cleavage Sweaty Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    I think that’s the whole camel.

  20. Matthew Perry Coke Face Craigs Restaurant
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Did these paparazzi draw the short straw or something?

  21. Luis Guzman Puerto Ricans In Paris Set
    rican
    Commented on this photo:

    What few people know is that he dresses like that every day.

  22. LeAnn Rimes Butt Daisy Dukes Charlotte Gay Pride Festival
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Lena Dunham is really looking a lot hotter these days.

  23. Dennis Rodman Speaking To Children Warren Henry All Star Basketball Kids Camp
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who wants to go to north Korea with me?”

  24. Nicole Eggert Cleavage Sweaty Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    dbag
    Commented on this photo:

    I would make like a baby kangarro and crawl up in there to marinate.

  25. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    The classics never dies.

  26. Antonio Banderas Groping Young Woman
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that goop?

    No…what am I saying? No way would she get that close to commoners without proper air filtration.

  27. Luis Guzman Puerto Ricans In Paris Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Feel those kicks? He’s going to be a soccer player. He is…..he is

  28. Amber Rose Huge Ass Tight Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    Most of the time, fat is just fat.

  29. Zoe Saldana Nipples No Bra Pregnant Belly Tight Dress
    dbag
    Commented on this photo:

    Just sloppy

  30. Lisa Rinna Nipples Tanktop Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Amazon Prime has collagen now??

  31. Sarah Jessica Parker Cleavage Veiny Neck Swimsuit Matthew Broderick Daughter Marion
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Ferris’s sister would be happy to know that he isn’t winning anymore.

  32. Antonio Banderas Groping Young Woman
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    To heal my broken soul my psychiatrist told me to take two of these and call him in the morning.

  33. Janice Dickinson Wrinkly Legs Short Shorts
    Commented on this photo:

    Who would take this picture? and what kind of monster would publish it?

  34. Matthew Perry Coke Face Craigs Restaurant
    Great White Pygmy
    Commented on this photo:

    ahhhhhhhhh. Whats in the box?

  35. Lady Gaga Long Sharp Black Nails Holding Baby
    Commented on this photo:

    That is clearly the look of two guys not totally convinced she’s not going to eat the baby…and a kid who is pretty sure he’s next.

    • Gordon GEICO

      Oh, that kid is fine. The normal reaction to seeing Lady Gaga in person, up close, is to bleed from the eyes.

  36. Hilaria Baldwin Butt Bikini Yoga Pose Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Would someone please shoot this useless bitch?

  37. Rose McGowan Cleavage Short Hair Chateau Marmont
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    heroin….heroin….heroin….maybe this guy has some….nope…..heroin….heroin…

  38. Nicole Eggert Cleavage Sweaty Cameltoe Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    *Sigh*…

  39.  Chris Hardwick Photobombing Michael McMillian Creative Arts Emmy Awards
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    James Bond’s new partner is kind of a douche.

  40. Hilaria Baldwin Butt Bikini Yoga Pose Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    “Dammit! I don’t wanna see it! you’re not even my real mom!”
    –Ireland Baldwin

  41. Kelly Brook Cleavage Lingerie Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I love her, but this picture is either pretty old or it’s taken from a very favorable angle.

  42. Madonna Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    So, the sun doesn’t shine out of her butt, but out of her nipple?
    OK. Fine. I can accept that.

  43. Queen Latifah Swimsuit
    Commented on this photo:

    i wonder why they voice cast her as a wooly mammoth in Ice Age?

  44. Christie Brinkley Cleavage Hamptons Magazine Celebration Of The Childrens Justice Campaign Of Joan George Hornig
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    “the ‘Hamptons’ Magazine Celebration of The Children’s Justice Campaign”

    God, I can actually see the smug cloud from here.

  45. Sarah Jessica Parker Cleavage Veiny Neck Swimsuit Matthew Broderick Daughter Marion
    Short Round
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t worry sweetheart. Daddy’s just digging a little hole for mommy to fall in. You keep distracting her now…

  46. Brooke Shields Crazy Face LAX
    Great White Pygmy
    Commented on this photo:

    What the hell is the purse hanging on?

  47. Hilaria Baldwin Butt Bikini Yoga Pose Instagram
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    I love when her and I can make time to Skype.

  48. Madonna Topless Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, this picture puts to rest the myth that she got ugly as she got older. Coz she FUGLY THEN!

  49. Brody Jenner Creepy Porn Stache Licking Lips Rehab Pool Original Dayclub
    JimBB
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry, Mr. Jenner, but Tony Stewart isn’t letting you drive in his place.

  50. Dennis Rodman Speaking To Children Warren Henry All Star Basketball Kids Camp
    Commented on this photo:

    cross-dressing washed-up drug-addled traitorous loser.
    Aim for the stars, kids!

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