The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.13.12

August 13th, 2012 // 762 Comments

Welcome to another overstuffed Monday edition of The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of seemingly innocent celebrity candid photos and whip them into a batter of fat jokes and dick puns. Like if you walked into a bakery and ordered a cake, but instead the staff just called you fat and gay. Anyway, today we realize that the producers of Gossip Girl are avid readers of the site, it’s a shame what bronze medal winners have to do to get anybody to give a shit about them, and Dolph Lundgren remembers the time Jean-Claude Van Damme showed him Thailand.

Back by the Internet’s insatiable lust for underage looking girls in bikini pics popular demand, Nathalia Ramos is your Final Five,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. R. Kelly Cigar Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    How did he never hook up with Kim K? They would have a golden time….

  2. Emily Blunt Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Allow me to be blunt. I want to fuck her.

  3. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, you get what you pay for, I suppose.

  4. Nathalia Ramos Bikini
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ok, did they take this pic from the Delia’s catalog?!

  5. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    To boldly go where…. someone should look immediately; his basement.

  6. Jonas Brothers Tank Tops Rolled Up Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what happens when Travolta doesn’t give clear driving instructions…

  7. Tom Daley Bronze Medal Diving Suit Olympics
    Commented on this photo:

    “That damn Romanian judge always gives my dick a 5.”

  8. The Situation
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    King of queens

  9. Bono Shirtless Fat Man Boobs
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    He made fifty million dollars last year which after tax is nearly fifty million dollars.

    Tax bray ay ay! Tax bray ay ay akes!

  10. Leilani Dowding Cleavage Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week.

  11. Camila Alves Bikini Pregnant Belly
    BlackAndWhiteMinstrel
    Commented on this photo:

    Camila toad!

  12. Eros Ramazzotti Fondeling Marica Pellegrinelli Butt Bikini
    O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    A man after my own heart – and someone else’s ass.

  13. Chris Tucker
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Watch this! I can pop my eye out! It’s crazy.

  14. Jonah Hill
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    What a gross, unlike able kid

  15. Neil Diamond Walk Of Fame Star
    O'chunt
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hahaha, I don’t believe it, they spelled it wrong!”

  16. Dolph Lundgren
    Commented on this photo:

    He just saw the Kim Kardashian pic.

  17. Daniel Radcliffe Crazy Eyes
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like Jake from the Northwestern

  18. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Batman
    Commented on this photo:

    Leave Kim alone, you guys. Some people just like to fill their pants with mashed potatoes.

  19. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s about 5″0″ .. Kanye is a midget.. and of course.. MOOOOO

  20. Eros Ramazzotti Fondeling Marica Pellegrinelli Butt Bikini
    Fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Towel, sure, let me help you stand to get it.

  21. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    moo
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Kanye into doing the diaper changes or do they just hire someone?

  22. Camila Alves Bikini Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    That reminds me, I need to renew my subscription to National Geographic.

  23. Neil Diamond Walk Of Fame Star
    Fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Your hands Neil, not your elbow. Jesus, you’d think he’d know by now.

  24. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Put this same ass on any woman from Topeka, Kansas and no one is excited about it. It’s just another stock clerk at Walmart. (Apologies to Topeka).

  25. Matthew McConaughey Shirtless Six Pack
    ben dover
    Commented on this photo:

    E.T. phone home

  26. Dolph Lundgren
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t blame me for Expendables two. It was all Stallone’s idea.

  27. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    Commented on this photo:

    “How do you get Chloe Sevingy into your car and NOT have sex with her?” Van Damme logic.

  28. Pepa Cleavage
    Fred
    Commented on this photo:

    If the earth grew a mole, this is what it would look like.

  29. Dolph Lundgren
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Kirk Douglass is looking better. Still crazy, but better.

  30. Emily Blunt Butt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I must say, the trend of following up that disgusting fat ass of Kim’s with a stellar example of a proper ass is growing on me….yes, growing like cellulite on KimK’s fatropolis

  31. Dolph Lundgren
    moo
    Commented on this photo:

    I must break you.

  32. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    Commented on this photo:

    Seriously, does “Chateau Marmont” translate into “Coke Den.”

  33. Beth Stern Kissing Possum
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Beth Stern upgrades.

  34. Pepa Cleavage
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh god. It was better not knowing.

  35. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like Kanye has a Jabba the hutt on the back of his head O_O

  36. Beth Stern Kissing Possum
    Batman
    Commented on this photo:

    Opossum: “Hey bitch – how do my rabies taste?”

    Beth: “A bit like my herpes.”

    *Wah wah waaaaaah*

  37. Heidi Klum Cleavage
    DeucePickle
    Commented on this photo:

    Just think, Seal got tired to slapping those things around. Seal.

    • noni

      not that heidi klum isnt beautiful, but look at her topless pics. her boobs are small and delflated. its a wonder what push up bras can do.

  38. Chelsee Healey Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Lil Kim?

  39. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Zachary Quinto, Chloe Sevigny and some chick that just popped into the car from a 1978 time machine.

  40. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone in that car has that ” I just Brown Bunnied Vincent Gallo ” look on their faces.

  41. Chelsee Healey Cleavage
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    Those look like they hurt.

  42. Chelsee Healey Cleavage
    Batman
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she has a great personality.

    Girls with fake tits usually do.

  43. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    Shedded the smurf suit I see

  44. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    Dumbell and Dumberer.

  45. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    Batman
    Commented on this photo:

    Katy Perry must’ve found Russel’s crack pipe before she dumped him.

  46. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    Contusion
    Commented on this photo:

    It better be a free concert. Who the fuck would pay to see Cher Lloyd?

  47. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    Bigalkie
    Commented on this photo:

    Wha Eva

  48. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Brit
    Commented on this photo:

    All that fame and money, and the best he can do is land a retread sex tape fatty of his dreams.

  49. Pepa Cleavage
    WilleyNilly
    Commented on this photo:

    Motherhood does NOT look good on Beyonce.

  50. Eros Ramazzotti Fondeling Marica Pellegrinelli Butt Bikini
    Batman
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yesssss….this will do.”

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