Welcome to another overstuffed Monday edition of The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of seemingly innocent celebrity candid photos and whip them into a batter of fat jokes and dick puns. Like if you walked into a bakery and ordered a cake, but instead the staff just called you fat and gay. Anyway, today we realize that the producers of Gossip Girl are avid readers of the site, it’s a shame what bronze medal winners have to do to get anybody to give a shit about them, and Dolph Lundgren remembers the time Jean-Claude Van Damme showed him Thailand.
Back by the Internet’s insatiable lust for underage looking girls in bikini pics popular demand, Nathalia Ramos is your Final Five,
- Photo Boy
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Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
How did he never hook up with Kim K? They would have a golden time….
Kim is 15 years too old for him.
I’m talking back then… He’s been doing this for a while…
I’m sure he did, Topher, but the batteries in the camera were dead so it’s like it never happened…
Allow me to be blunt. I want to fuck her.
Well, you get what you pay for, I suppose.
Ok, did they take this pic from the Delia’s catalog?!
To boldly go where…. someone should look immediately; his basement.
This is what happens when Travolta doesn’t give clear driving instructions…
“That damn Romanian judge always gives my dick a 5.”
King of queens
He made fifty million dollars last year which after tax is nearly fifty million dollars.
Tax bray ay ay! Tax bray ay ay akes!
She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week.
Camila toad!
A man after my own heart – and someone else’s ass.
Watch this! I can pop my eye out! It’s crazy.
What a gross, unlike able kid
“Hahaha, I don’t believe it, they spelled it wrong!”
He just saw the Kim Kardashian pic.
looks like Jake from the Northwestern
Leave Kim alone, you guys. Some people just like to fill their pants with mashed potatoes.
She’s about 5″0″ .. Kanye is a midget.. and of course.. MOOOOO
Towel, sure, let me help you stand to get it.
Is Kanye into doing the diaper changes or do they just hire someone?
That reminds me, I need to renew my subscription to National Geographic.
Good one!
Your hands Neil, not your elbow. Jesus, you’d think he’d know by now.
Put this same ass on any woman from Topeka, Kansas and no one is excited about it. It’s just another stock clerk at Walmart. (Apologies to Topeka).
Having lived in Topeka, I can confirm this.
E.T. phone home
I get it – if you stare long enough… you see E.T. !!!
Don’t blame me for Expendables two. It was all Stallone’s idea.
“How do you get Chloe Sevingy into your car and NOT have sex with her?” Van Damme logic.
If the earth grew a mole, this is what it would look like.
Kirk Douglass is looking better. Still crazy, but better.
I must say, the trend of following up that disgusting fat ass of Kim’s with a stellar example of a proper ass is growing on me….yes, growing like cellulite on KimK’s fatropolis
I must break you.
I think you’re the first person to ever make this comment under a picture of Dolph Lundgren.
Seriously, does “Chateau Marmont” translate into “Coke Den.”
Beth Stern upgrades.
Oh god. It was better not knowing.
Looks like Kanye has a Jabba the hutt on the back of his head O_O
A lot of black men have necks like that. Why?
How about a lot of *bald* men, etc.
Opossum: “Hey bitch – how do my rabies taste?”
Beth: “A bit like my herpes.”
*Wah wah waaaaaah*
Just think, Seal got tired to slapping those things around. Seal.
not that heidi klum isnt beautiful, but look at her topless pics. her boobs are small and delflated. its a wonder what push up bras can do.
Lil Kim?
Zachary Quinto, Chloe Sevigny and some chick that just popped into the car from a 1978 time machine.
You left out “Thing” from the Addams Family. Even back in ’78 some things were always digital.
haha I’m 99% sure that the chick in the front seat was in American Horror Story with Zachary, but she’s definitely looking a little coked out here.
Everyone in that car has that ” I just Brown Bunnied Vincent Gallo ” look on their faces.
Those look like they hurt.
I bet she has a great personality.
Girls with fake tits usually do.
what about girls with fake hair, eyelashes, eyebrows, fingernails, skin tone and friends ?
Shedded the smurf suit I see
Dumbell and Dumberer.
Katy Perry must’ve found Russel’s crack pipe before she dumped him.
It better be a free concert. Who the fuck would pay to see Cher Lloyd?
Wha Eva
All that fame and money, and the best he can do is land a retread sex tape fatty of his dreams.
Motherhood does NOT look good on Beyonce.
“Yesssss….this will do.”