The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.13.12

August 13th, 2012 // 762 Comments

Welcome to another overstuffed Monday edition of The Crap We Missed, where we take a weekend’s worth of seemingly innocent celebrity candid photos and whip them into a batter of fat jokes and dick puns. Like if you walked into a bakery and ordered a cake, but instead the staff just called you fat and gay. Anyway, today we realize that the producers of Gossip Girl are avid readers of the site, it’s a shame what bronze medal winners have to do to get anybody to give a shit about them, and Dolph Lundgren remembers the time Jean-Claude Van Damme showed him Thailand.

Back by the Internet’s insatiable lust for underage looking girls in bikini pics popular demand, Nathalia Ramos is your Final Five,

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Ana
    Commented on this photo:

    I remember when it used to be difficult to get a picture of her rear end. Somebody must have bills to pay…

  2. Camila Alves Bikini Pregnant Belly
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    McConaughey sperm is almost as strong a Skarsgard sperm. Almost.

  3. Daniel Radcliffe Crazy Eyes
    Commented on this photo:

    Harry Potter and the 3 day ecstasy binge.

  4. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    This talentless bitch from UK X-Factor crossed the pond?
    Get rid of her, NOW, before the media-machine makes ‘tweens think she’s relevant!

  5. Chelsee Healey Cleavage
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    I take it this is the UK Snooky.

  6. Una Healy Cleavage Spandex Minidress
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    I was gonna ask “who” but it doesn’t really matter.

  7. Jonah Hill
    Commented on this photo:

    (Uncontrollable sobbing) “Look… I don’t know how it happened.. (sob) but the ice cream just MELTED!!…”

  8. Hofit Golan Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Penguins aren’t supposed to be sexy.

  9. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    Commented on this photo:

    Scott Bakula as Sam Elliot as Wade Garrett in the Road House remake.

  10. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Why do I keep thinking Geraldo Rivera every time I see this guy?!!!

  11. R. Kelly Cigar Book Signing
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    “You’re only 15 Sweetie? Would you like me to sign it in crayon?”

  12. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder how much he gets negotiated down by people asking for his autograph. Like I bet he ends up just signing shit for some smelly pennies and pocket lint.

  13. Matthew McConaughey Shirtless Six Pack
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    JusthangingouthavingagoodtimemanHeywhydon’tyouguysandgalsstoponbyandwecanhavesomedrinksandrelaxbythepoolman?

  14. Heidi Klum Cleavage
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    Look at her. She’s not even trying and she’s near-perfect.

  15. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Lard ass!

  16. Cher Lloyd Panty Flash Upskirt Animal Print Panties
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ewwww to her granny-looking ass! Just ewwwwwww!

  17. Kim Kardashian Huge Butt Yoga Pants Kanye West
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone explain to me, with all that cellulite, it’s the TOP of her back that sweats????

  18. R. Kelly Cigar Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    He always struck me as looking mentally retarded.

  19. Neil Diamond Walk Of Fame Star
    Commented on this photo:

    “Christ, it’s here for 5 minutes and already Paris Hilton drips herpie on it.”

  20. Tom Daley Bronze Medal Diving Suit Olympics
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m thinking he’s going to get a 10.

  21. The Situation
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Either the entire cast of Jersey Shore are fucking Hobbits, or they all hang around oversized ‘prop’ vehicles…
    WTF?!?

  22. Camila Alves Bikini Pregnant Belly
    Commented on this photo:

    Alright, alright, alright.

  23. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    Frunken
    Commented on this photo:

    I guess they’re already working on casting for the Batman reboot.

  24. Eros Ramazzotti Fondeling Marica Pellegrinelli Butt Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Attaboy!

  25. Beth Stern Kissing Possum
    Crabby Old Guy
    Commented on this photo:

    OMG – for a second I thought she was kissing Sean Penn.

  26. Jaden Smith Animal Print Skinny Pants
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Why does he always have that stupid expression on his face?

  27. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    A gay Beaver Cleaver driving a hearse?

  28. Neil Diamond Walk Of Fame Star
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Neil Diamond: FTW!!!
    ‘Bout fucking time, way to go, Neil!!!

  29. Zachary Quinto Chloe Sevigny
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, we know what they *weren’t* doing…..

  30. Salt Butt Spandex Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Where’s Pepaw?

  31. Nathalia Ramos Bikini
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorta want?

  32. Scott Bakula Porn Stache
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    You keep that up and Sam Elliot *WILL* come kick your ass, you know.

  33. Pepa Cleavage
    elephantman
    Commented on this photo:

    Pepa? You mean heffer!

  34. Eros Ramazzotti Fondeling Marica Pellegrinelli Butt Bikini
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Is there a factory In Europe where old men go buy their girlfriends from?!!!

  35. R. Kelly Cigar Book Signing
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Malcolm P

  36. Jennifer Lopez
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    Spreading her “Witches’ Butter” all over her back-up dancers will not make them straight.
    Didn’t work for her current beau…

  37. Pepa Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s Pepaw!

  38. The Situation
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s what he needed for respectability….. BIGGER SHOES.

  39. Jonah Hill
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    No, you still look fat even when squeezing your face together sorry.

  40. Neil Diamond Walk Of Fame Star
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Uh, Neil, that’s not actually your star…

  41. Camila Alves Bikini Pregnant Belly
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    God she’s fat

  42. Salt Butt Spandex Pants
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Did she eat Peppa?!!!

  43. Jonas Brothers Tank Tops Rolled Up Jeans
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    I think I’ve used the word ‘gay’ one time too many for today’s Crap We Missed (and I’m not the least bit homophobic), so I’ll pass on this one…

  44. Matthew McConaughey Shirtless Six Pack
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s got a role coming up that a complete departure for him. He plays an assassin, I think. I’m looking forward to it.

  45. Jaden Smith Animal Print Skinny Pants
    Crissy
    Commented on this photo:

    Because those pants dont scream gay at all…

    • BbyBluThghHghs

      At this point I’m pretty sure both of his kids are a little confused about their sexuality. I’m all for self-expression, etc., but c’mooooon.

    • Schmidtler

      damn, I saw this dork’s face and thought ‘now that’s a face that needs a good punching’ – and that was before I scrolled down and saw his pants!

  46. Jonas Brothers Tank Tops Rolled Up Jeans
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Hanson…come out to playyyyyyy.

  47. Matthew McConaughey Shirtless Six Pack
    Anthony
    Commented on this photo:

    They’re filming The Machinist 2?

  48. Jaden Smith Animal Print Skinny Pants
    Johnny P!
    Commented on this photo:

    We need Iveski’s “I Choke Reopard Rike Dis”
    pic again.
    Even more apropos this time…

  49. Chris Tucker
    The Pope
    Commented on this photo:

    Forrest Klump.

  50. Jaden Smith Animal Print Skinny Pants
    EricLr
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, that should be a stop to any gay rumors.

Leave A Comment