The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.12.13

August 12th, 2013 // 578 Comments

“Ms. Paltrow, here, I made you these brownies from scratch using all-purpose flour!”

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, capping off a day that brought you Maple Christ‘s naked ass, followed by his manly love-making, so on behalf of Fish and myself let me apologize and step right out of the way of Anthony Weiner wearing red pants because enough attention hasn’t already been paid to that area of his body, Kevin Jonas enjoying a whiff of the axe body spray he makes his “wife” wear, and James Franco wearing a cardigan while seated in a leather chair answering questions about his book, ‘A California Childhood,’ so let’s all just grab a loved one and wait for the collective worldwide eyeroll to shift the Earth off its axis.

Thanks dicknose, now we’ll never know how Breaking Bad ends,

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Hilaria Baldwin Huge Pregnant Belly
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    And that’s what the Kimmie the while wished she looked like when she was with child!

  2. Mike Tyson Kiki Spicer Nevada Boxing Hall Of Fame inaugural Class Induction
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    He’ll knock her out in the 3rd.

  3. Rihanna Sand Covered Butt Bikini Instagram
    Armo
    Commented on this photo:

    mmmmmmmmmm………Cinnamon & Powdered Sugar donut. My Favorite

  4. Penny Marshall Kimono 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez. She could have at least shaved for the occasion.

  5. Madonna Paintball Field Son Rocco Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture’s full of orbs and shit. Are the evil spirits going in or coming out?

  6. Kate Moss Bikini Belly Weight Gain Bunny Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    Heroin does a body good!

  7. Eddie Murphy Humping Paige Butcher In Coffee Shop
    Commented on this photo:

    …and what will you have sir? ” Lemonade that cool refreshing drink”

  8. Naya Rivera Midriff Bra Top Teen Choice Awards
    RocketInMyPocket
    Commented on this photo:

    Only store-bought curves, I see. It’s a shame. She could be attractive if she ate a sandwich or two.

  9. Kate Moss Bikini Belly Weight Gain Bunny Phone
    Commented on this photo:

    “I don’t give a shit what you do! You figure out a way how to get that money!! I’ve already sold my tits and if I don’t get that coke pronto, I will send you dick pics of Pete Doherty’s face!”"

  10. Shaquille ONeal Towering Over Kevin Hart 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Smells like coconut up in here.

  11. Guy With Banana Taped To Phone Anthnoy Weiner Dominican American National Parade
    Ripley's Believe It Or Not
    Commented on this photo:

    George Foreman has gone from hawking a meat grill to a fruit phone?

  12. Shaquille ONeal Towering Over Kevin Hart 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    …i get it; because they’re black …good one, riley.

  13. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Commented on this photo:

    …you will never get any argument outta me about this one.

  14. Dax Shepard Kristen Bell Justin Theroux Birthday Party
    Commented on this photo:

    “Honey, your hands re freezing!”
    “That’s not my hand.”
    [cue 'dramatic chipmunk' music]

  15. Ariel Winter Too Young For Ashton Shirt Yoga Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    …had to google it …she’s only 15 …i need to calm the fuck down.

  16. Helen Hunt Ride Set Being Helped To Her Feet By Group Of Men
    Commented on this photo:

    …jesus, what’s the plot of “ride”…forced milf public gangbangs?

  17. Shaquille ONeal Towering Over Kevin Hart 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Louis Bustamante
    Commented on this photo:

    “Any taller he’d be nuts over me.”

  18. Penny Marshall Kimono 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    …just because steven seagal is your sensei…

  19. Madonna Paintball Field Son Rocco Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    …scroll back down and look at the thumbnail; tell me it does’nt look like that lip-synching dwarf from youtube…

  20. Eddie Murphy Humping Paige Butcher In Coffee Shop
    Commented on this photo:

    …so, he’s still paying his beard to be seen in public with him, huh? — I MEAN; so, they’re still together, how nice!!!

  21. Guy With Banana Taped To Phone Anthnoy Weiner Dominican American National Parade
    Fappuccino
    Commented on this photo:

    Dude you got a banana in your ear.
    -What? I can’t hear, you I got a banana in my ear

  22. Michelle Rodriguez Chateau Marmont
    navvet75
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone thought there was an aftershock but it was only the big one falling down.

  23. Ariel Winter Too Young For Ashton Shirt Yoga Pants
    navvet75
    Commented on this photo:

    Cue the Nicholson scene in One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest

  24. Rick Astley Ascot Racecourse
    Furelle
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought it was just a stoned Robin Thicke.

  25. Shaquille ONeal Towering Over Kevin Hart 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    It ain’t gonna suck itself

  26. Helen Hunt Ride Set Being Helped To Her Feet By Group Of Men
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like a pop music video in the making.

  27. Channing Tatum Prosthetic Ears Blonde Hair Goatee Vest Jupiter Ascending Set
    AnnaD.
    Commented on this photo:

    What am I looking at…?

  28. James Franco Book Signing
    Commented on this photo:

    “Look. I said NO bunnies were killed to make this sweater, ok?”

  29. Madonna Paintball Field Son Rocco Birthday
    Commented on this photo:

    Oye fucking vey.

  30. Rihanna Sand Covered Butt Bikini Instagram
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d still like to pound her asshole both with my tongue and my penis.

  31. Hilary Duff Butt Tight Jeans
    Skeeter
    Commented on this photo:

    That ass is outstanding. I would love to taste it. I would even allow her to fart on my tongue.

  32. Hilaria Baldwin Huge Pregnant Belly
    whatever
    Commented on this photo:

    twins or a very big baby

  33. Penny Marshall Kimono 13th Annual Harold And Carole Pump Foundation Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Are those boobs down near about elbow-height, or what?

  34. Nelly Mismatched Shoelaces Rubber Shorts Teen Choice Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    grandma called she wants her fuckin bed spread back..

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