The Crap We Missed – Monday 8.11.14

August 11th, 2014 // 436 Comments

Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, coming at you from a three-day that didn’t start with me watching my childhood get CGI’d in the nuts, so it’s from a good place. That’s probably why I decided to fill it with uplifting images like Joe Jonas and Antonio Banderas both handling their failed relationships remarkably well albeit via completely different methods. There’s also Jennifer Nicole Lee using the “just tear the band-aid off fast approach” instead of what’s usually a shocking foreplay revelation as well as the collectible David Hasselhoff spoon, which yes, of course, is specifically designed to scoop burger off the floor.

*opens window, inhales fresh air, notices majestic, soaring hawk, looks over at Fish sitting in the corner rocking himself, muttering* “Her fucking pets…they made them her goddamn pets..”

- Photo Boy

Click Here To Start The Gallery

Photo: AKM-GSI, Fame/Flynet, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    The significance of the number is that her ass is three sizes larger than it should be.

  2. Kelly Brook Cleavage Legs Minidress
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    You feel an overwhelming urge to cup my balls, Kelly? Well, O.K., if you insist.

  3. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Legs Instagram
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    looks a little trannyish here.

  4. Martha Stewart Feeding Apple To Horse Terry Richardson
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    Sarah Jessica Parker photobombs Martha Stewart.

  5. Martha Stewart Feeding Apple To Horse Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    the umbrella is to block semen.

  6. Martha Stewart Feeding Apple To Horse Terry Richardson
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The other photos of Martha & the horse will be released exclusively on a Berlin web site. Get your credit cards ready.

  7. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Legs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Coming this winter, Michael Bay directs and Jessica Simpson stars as “She-Ra: Princess of Power”

  8. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
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    Mom’s 3rd favorite?

  9. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Mom Boobs Overalls Holding Baby Apollo
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    Nothing says dressing for the beach like denim and heavy lipstick.

  10. Mickey Rourke Crotch Bulge Spandex Bike Pants
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    wtf.

  11. Coco Cleavage Tiny Thong Instagram
    Gio
    Commented on this photo:

    The waist is totally photoshop. This pig should leave Borat’s closet alone.

  12. Jared Leto Purple Robe Crown
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Normally I look the other way when someone robs the local cathedral alter but this is too egregious to let pass.

  13. Martha Stewart Feeding Apple To Horse Terry Richardson
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    She’s feeding the apple Richardson gave her to the horse…because she’s not stupid.

  14. Joey Fatone Talking To Transvestite
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    Which one?

  15. Joe Jonas No Socks Loafers Lunch Date With Dude
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    First date?

  16. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Legs Instagram
    George P Burdell
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    I wonder what her legs look like when she takes off the high heels?

  17. Beto Perez Looking At Girlfriend Jennifer Nicole Lee Crotch String Bikini
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    That’s the face of a man that just lost a cock measuring contest.

  18. Lady Gaga Butt Naked Side Boob Onstage Costume Change
    Commented on this photo:

    So edgy. So brave. So saggy.

  19. Josh Hutcherson Celebrity Basketball Game Spinning Ball On Finger
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone’s been hit on one too many times.

  20. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Bushman Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    NO FUCKING WAY!

    MacGyver??

  21. Dita Von Teese Naked Nipple Tassles Strip Show Fawaz Gruosi Birthday Party
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    This women knows how to do sexy.

  22. Joey Fatone Talking To Transvestite
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    Looks like Fatone is going to get a fat one

  23. Alessandra Ambrosio Nipples No Bra Midriff
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    Geez… MILF to the extreme.

  24. Hilaria Baldwin Bikini Yoga Handstand Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Did anyone else make a wish?

  25. David Hasselhoff Collectible Spoon Okyos Yougurt
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Who’s gonna put that in their mouth…or up their nose?
    Anyone?

  26. Hilaria Baldwin Bikini Yoga Handstand Instagram
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    Now with personal assistants in famewhoring.

  27. Coco Cleavage Tiny Thong Instagram
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    Nasty

  28. Ronda Rousey Sweatpants Combat Boots
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    Her cankles could break my arm.

  29. Hilaria Baldwin Bikini Yoga Handstand Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Make a wish…like maybe for a new job that doesn’t involve needing 3 people to help a narcissistic woman get her daily fix

  30. Kelly Brook Cleavage Legs Minidress
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweet job on the exposure, photog.

    No wonder your career as a professional photographer is limited to lurking outside of celebrity haunts.

    Did money change hands for this picture?

  31. David Hasselhoff Collectible Spoon Okyos Yougurt
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    It showed well in focus groups in Germany though?

  32. Joe Jonas No Socks Loafers Lunch Date With Dude
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    Fingers crossed little buddy – might not be single for long.

  33. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Bushman Hat
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    If this was a woman, the shaming would be off the charts…so, what a fucking cow. Really let himself go.

  34. Rachel Bilson Cleavage Pregnant Belly Spandex Dress
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    She is going to deliver a child bigger than herself.

  35. Hilaria Baldwin Bikini Yoga Handstand Instagram
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Does Alec know she’s dating Jon Hamm?

  36. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Tight Jeans Baby North LAX
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Death Star sighted @ LAX
    Thought it was a moon at first but no, definitely Death Star.

  37. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    I would say Kendall or Kourtney is the 3rd. She’s 2nd to last, the last being Rob

  38. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Bushman Hat
    Shayne
    Commented on this photo:

    MacGyver’s apparently figured out how to turn a pencil, a paperclip and some string into Twinkies.

  39. Josh Hutcherson Celebrity Basketball Game Spinning Ball On Finger
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Does his shirt mean that he’s straight, but not narrow-minded in that he’s OK with gay people, or does it mean that he’s not narrow-minded in that he may suck a cock or two? No homo, of course.

  40. Dita Von Teese Naked Nipple Tassles Strip Show Fawaz Gruosi Birthday Party
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    She probably gets about a 100k per dunking.

  41. Antonio Banderas Grabbing Womens Asses Panambi Fashion Show Starlite Gala
    Swearin
    Commented on this photo:

    Hernias are a bitch

  42. Richard Dean Anderson Fat Bushman Hat
    Commented on this photo:

    Time to take the Mac out of the MacGyver, Angus.

  43. Savannah Guthrie Huge Pregnant Belly Tight Dress The Today Show
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    A little more of that and she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant.

  44. Coco Cleavage Tiny Thong Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Photoshop is, all and all, not a good thing.

  45. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Legs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    They both look like they have to pee…really bad, you guys!

  46. Kelly Brook Cleavage Legs Minidress
    joe
    Commented on this photo:

    Has she lost weight, or is this the magic of horribly-overexposed titanium spanx?

  47. Jessica Simpson Cleavage Skinny Legs Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Lefty is more awake this morning than righty, I see.

  48. Khloe Kardashian Huge Fat Ass Tight Jeans Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh good. Now there’s a visible counter on them to know how many black celebrities they have banged in the last hour.

  49. Gwen Stefani Cleavage Mom Boobs Overalls Holding Baby Apollo
    Commented on this photo:

    Countdown to vomit trail in 3, 2 …

  50. Antonio Banderas Grabbing Womens Asses Panambi Fashion Show Starlite Gala
    Commented on this photo:

    Puss in struts…

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