“Even Shia LaBeouf didn’t shit on our craft like this.” – Banksy
Welcome to Monday’s The Crap We Missed, your weekend’s bounty of celebrity tomfoolery not worthy of Fish’s words. I’m not going to lie, today there’s a whole bunch of butt shots in here, for the candid behind is my prey, upon which I silently stalk from the wilderness of this couch cushion fort I make my mother call ‘The Office.’ (She cries herself to sleep most nights.) Anyway, amidst the ass parade, we’ve also got Dominic Cooper who is probably chewing through duct tape in the back of a windowless van right now, DMX who is probably going to jail again very soon, January Jones in that fat suit on Mad Men was Kristy Swanson this whole time, and finally, I guess Lady Gaga has noticed the press ignoring her lately so they got treated to a lens full of almost bare cheeks today.
I told you, straight-up booty bonanza,
- Photo Boy
Click Here to Start The Gallery
Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN
Nightmares are made of this.
GAH!
Judging by the Paz Greasiness Index, it was at least 80 degrees on this day.
Let’s just hope that sea hag isn’t returning to her birthplace to spawn.
It’s like she got a trial-size dose of gamma radiation, just to see if would help tone things up a bit.
she’s totes punk, you guys.
Yeah! She has her housekeeper totally throw her CBGB shirts on the floor after she washes them.
The Pig’s Bozo
Is this good or bad?
Cop #1: “I wanna frisk her…”
Cop #2: “No, I wanna frisk her…”
Cop #1: “No, it’s my turn…”
Cop #2: “I outrank you, and I’m going to do it…”
Cop #1: “Uh-oh…she got away… you are such an asshole!”
Man or lesbian in the background? Let’s take an informal poll.
I say lesbian.
I say man. It’s a really tough call though!
That’s a recreational league softball T-shirt.
Do the math.
That’s a BC Lions (CFL) shirt. Probably a post-op tranny. Maybe it’s Toni. Or GQ. Or Digler. Or Frankw… etc.
And fuck Kristy’s douchebag hat.
Man… if you zoom in, there’s facial hair. I would just take my word for it, for the love of goodness!
So you’re saying she probably has a thyroid condition?
Sad description of your career when people are more interested in the dubious sexuality of the person in the background.
Yeah….what you said, but tell me more about your username…
There’s an epic George Michael circa 1989 flashback occurring in the minds of at least two people in this picture.
she looks okay here aka not monster-like
I’m… butt man?
I wouldn’t want to be the pap that gets in her way, looks like she’s ready to kick some ass.
It occurs to me that these people have entirely too much expendable income.
I thought male peacocks were the ones with these tail feathers?
He belongs to the Order of Fries
I bet Bruce is really happy when that little shitbag comes around.
Just cuz he’s an ass, doesn’t mean he gets to be in the ass parade.
Stay classy, San Diego.
And as you know, San Diego is German for, “a whale’s vagina”
Finally, they gave her a helmet!
Pretty sure her jockey just left it on her head as a joke.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahaaaaa goddamn brilliant
Haha awesome.
Oh shit! LOL! I think Fish banned me from liking your stuff, Beef. Fish won’t let me thumb you!
I can’t goddamn BELIEVE they picked Michael Fassbender instead of me.
It’s like magic or something, when I push on my boobs like this my tummy pooches out.
The day we all turned into World Champion knife throwers.
Shit!!! I meant to give you thumbs up for that! FUCK!
That’s what happens when you type and make yourself throw up at the same time.
What. A dick!
It’s pretty much involuntary when you look at this pig.
…or in your case just vagina.
Should read: Stephen Dorff in Saint Tropez (Tara Reid also happens to be in picture).
Well thanks for tonight’s fucking nightmare.
That’s not Emma Roberts. That’s Emma Rogers who works at the St. Vincent de Paul down the street…
Poor Alec, Everybody knows you never go full retard.
This is what happens whenever he dines with brother Stephen. That shit rubs off.
someone’s gonna get beat up
Now I see the appeal of Rihanna’s music!!!
Damn her!! Right when I was truly sick of her, she does something like this!
Oprah 20 years ago.
Not even on her BEST day…
Do you remember Oprah 20 years ago? Pretty sure she didn’t look this good.
Amazingly enough this is the best I’ve seen her look in awhile. Misspelled the surname, BTW.
Since corrected, thank-you.
is she still pregnant?
better yet, has she ever not been pregnant?
At least we know she really does put out…
Judging by the sheen on her legs, a lot of axle grease was used to ‘slip’ her into that dress.
How do you pronounce her last name? “CONE-HEAD”
Hmmm, did I get all the bacon out of the freezer?
“Whoa, whoa, whoa…so you’re saying I’m…black?“
What the fuck?
Couldn’t their butler go look for meth?
50% off Papa Johns! BOOYAH!
And no one thought to ask her how many angels could dance on her head
I love her!!!!!!!!!!!
she’s my idol
I see she’s read Paris Hilton’s “How to Pee like a Lady when Clubbing” brochure.
She might be in NY but she’s pissing Jersey style.
“Don’t forget to tuck you cock back!”
-Carey Hart
This gets me to wondering, what if the entire world was one big chunk of gold?
I still wouldn’t have sex with it.
Nicki, your daddy called to say he still doesn’t love you.
Looks like she should put that left boob back in the dryer for 20 minutes.
More like the whole body
Maximus the Unremarkable
Not nearly as much ass as I was led to believe…